Uneven Sides?

[Deleted User] · May 2010

How common is it for a WP to have uneven sides? We're trying to keep things simple and we only have 2 people on each side, however I kind of really feel like this one friend of mine should be included as well, BUT FI doesn't have anyone else that he wants add to his side. We could do uneven sides, which I know isn't the end of the world by any means, but I just don't know if I like that idea either.

A big reason I am having a hard time with it though is because FI doesn't have many close friends that he wants to have IN the wedding, he is having his brother be his best man, and MY brother will be the GM. So if I have 3 BM and my brother in the WP and FI only has his brother and that's it, I will feel like I am dominating the wedding. Hmf.

Thoughts??

izzyjenni · May 2010

Don't sweat it! It is how it goes. I have 7 bridesmaids and my honey has 4 on this side for groomsmen. It is really not that big of a deal.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_uneven-sides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:8f0e21da-94e1-44e1-9973-584826b870d0Post:352724cd-ad1b-4a21-bc7e-f2e0438c68d2">Re: Uneven Sides?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't sweat it! It is how it goes. I have 7 bridesmaids and my honey has 4 on this side for groomsmen. It is really not that big of a deal. :)
Posted by izzyjenni[/QUOTE]

Thanks, I know you're right, I don't know why I am having a hard time with it. How are you having them walk?

maybe984 · May 2010

First of all, I don't think uneven sides is a big deal. My FI is having 4 GMs, and I'm having 4 BMs plus my best guy friend, Alex, on my side. It didn't make sense to have him on my FI's side, since he and my FI don't know each other all that well... but I really wanted him in the wedding because we've been friends since we were 14.

So, my sister/MOH will walk down the aisle with a guy on each arm (Alex and FI's best man) and the rest of the bridal party will go down in regular pairs.

You could do something similar with your bridal party. Have one of his GMs walk with one BM, the other with two. And honestly, I wouldn't feel guilty about "dominating the wedding." It's not your problem if he doesn't feel close enough to anyone else to have them be in the WP.

amberh0515 · May 2010

I'm having 5 bm and 4 gm. One of the guys is going to walk with 2 girls. It was his idea so I believe he will thoroughly enjoy it!

shameless_ad · May 2010

We have 2 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen. It took some convincing for my FI to be okay with this, but I couldn't honestly think of anyone else I wanted to include.

We haven't figured out how they'll walk, but I'm sure we can come up with something - probably have one girl walk with 2 guys.

leggwilliams · May 2010

We're having 4 groomsmen, 5 bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids, and 3 flower girls....so heavy on the women! Junior bridesdmaids will walk down together and then the last groomsman will walk down with 2 bridesmaids

LittleSweetie · May 2010

Not a big deal at all. If you have ushers, that will help even out the "sides" anyway. A lot of pictures look tux-heavy, so having more BMs will only help that at least

drdifabio · May 2010

I agree - not a big deal - not even a little bit. This is YOUR wedding so do what you want!!! There is no rule out there saying you have to have even numbers or X on your side and X on his. As I see it, the wedding party are the people that your are close to so including people to just even up sides makes no sense. If you feel close enough to 3 people to want them in the wedding do that! And if you FI only feels close enough to 1 (plus your brother) do that!

Izzygrim · May 2010

We're having 4 BMs and 3 GM. My sister is one of my BMs and my niece (her daughter) is my FG, so my sister and niece will walk down together.

You could always have the guys standing up front with your FI at the beginning of the ceremony and have the girls walk up by themselves. Or they could walk every other - BM then GM then BM then GM.

I was kind of bothered for a while too about having uneven sides, but it's grown on me, especially since it's working out for my sister and niece to walk together. Are you having any FG or RB that you could do that with?

BTW, your little one is adorable : )

kristigiles · May 2010

we are having 6 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen, 2 FGs, and 1 ring bearer. Even if sides are uneven, there are so many ways to work around it and no one will even notice!

LolaBelle515 · May 2010

I don't think uneven sides are an issue on their own (we lost a bridesmaid the day before because she was in LABOR...so anything can happen)...BUT, there is something else to consider.

In my experience, it's really important to make sure your FI is totally ok with uneven sides and doesn't feel like the wedding party is too heavily yours. Whether that's people standing up for you or ushers/musicians/readers, etc. In the end, the wedding party ended up being a little "me" heavy because our participants grew slowly over time...and it ended up being hard on FI itowards the end. On our wedding day, nothing mattered and it was perfect...but it's something to have a conversation about and make sure your FI is 100% ok with having only one person from his family + your brother stand up for him...when you might have 4 people that you want to honor you on your side. Everyone takes this differently, it's just a conversation that's worth having if you haven't had it, from my own "oops" experience!

kmfors · May 2010

I'm having 4 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. All my bridesmaids are family members and I'm having 8 BBF's (Brides Best Friends)...I know it's kind of corny, but I wanted them to be apart of my big day and I just couldn't pick and choose. They ALL mean so much to me. And 12 bm's at a small wedding is weird. So I'll give them a corsage to wear that day and they'll be in a lot of the professional pictures. Basically just no matching dresses or standing up at the altar.

Anyway, that was all irrelevant...haha!

My GM's will be already up at the altar and the bridesmaids will walk up alone. Walking back? No idea....two GM's might have to walk down alone...

lindseybrouwer · May 2010

I had 7 BM and my husband had 4 GM. I had the bestman and maid of honor walk together. Then from there I had 2 BM for 1 GM. The GM walked in the middle and had one BM on each arm. It worked out fine. It didn't look odd in pictures either.

I don't think any of the GM minded having 2 BMs...except for my 14 year old brother who I think was a little intimidated at first

We didn't want to start asking people to stand up with my husband just to even up the numbers. We both knew who we wanted next to us and made it work from there. I am happy with our decision!

Do what you and your fiance want to do...that's all that matters!

Emmalynj · June 2010

It just worked out that ours was even but I have been in weddings where there were more guys than girls etc. and I don't think anyone really notices or that it is a big deal. The only thing would be walking down the aisle and you could have girls go alone or figure out another thing rather than pairing them up.

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