RSVP's and How Many People Showed

Dr. J · September 2009

I am posting this on budget brides too (cause I am still shocked by it) so sorry if you read it twice. My wedding was this weekend - it was AWESOME :-) - but I can't believe how many people RSVP'ed yes and never showed. We invited 226 people, had 190 RSVP yes. I thought that was a great percentage. So we planned for that many, plus a few extras for the people who forgot/didn't RSVP but would probably show. We had 50 people (I went through and counted) RSVP yes and NOT show. I couldn't believe it. 50 people! Do you know how much money that was in food for people that didn't show? We cut corners everywhere we could with the wedding because I am in grad school again and my husband had to quit his job so we could move for my internship. So money is tight. But I was adament about having plenty of food for our guests. We sacrificed on so much for that. Then wasted about $500 on food for people who didn't bother to show up after saying they would (and my RSVP date was only 2 weeks before the wedding). I understand something coming up, but does anyone else think that is a really high number of people to not come after RSVPing yes?

peachkins · September 2009

I do agree that seems like a lot of people not showing up. I would expect a few, but 50 is pretty ridiculous.

Kristin789 · September 2009

I think that's a really high number. Was there something else going on, like bad weather or family fight or something?

TheCatSaidQuack · September 2009

that's...wow.honestly, i would be making a few phone calls, and sound all nice and worried 'oh so and so, i really hope nothing horrible happened, since you said you'd be at my WEDDING and we didn't see you there. is everything ok? I was concerned'but then again, i'm passive aggressive like that.

mocha beans · September 2009

Ouch, that is a bummer. Friends of ours invited about 600 (huge well known farm families for both), about 400 said yes, and a bit less than 300 showed, quite a few after dinner was served. She was piiisssed the next morning.

xnikki118x · September 2009

That's an insane number of no-shows. I'm sorry that happened to you. =(

ThePinkSuperhero · September 2009

Who were the no-shows? Family, friends, co-workers?

blackfire5th · September 2009

I'd send out invoices for the amount owed. Don't forget to include cake and centerpieces you could have saved on! Seriously, I'd be pretty pissed about that. That would have cost me $3000.

ExpatPumpkin · September 2009

That's a bummer, and I'm so sorry it happened to you

Who were these people? Friends, coworkers, extended family? I would be upset too.

Dr. J · September 2009

It was a mixture of friends, family and husband's coworkers that didn't show. A handful had good reasons - sicks kids, death in family, etc - and contacted us to apologize. Most we haven't heard from, but a few were bold/rude enough to just tell us they didn't feel like coming that day. We live in a small town where etiquette about such things doesn't happen. Most of our OOT guests showed, it was the locals who didn't!

ExpatPumpkin · September 2009

"Just didn't feel like it" would really make me mad! That's so inconsiderate and rude. Again, I'm sorry

lpstl · September 2009

You should send each one of them an invoice.

blackfire5th · September 2009

I would just casually mention in a conversation about Wow, you just feeling like not showing cost me $500. I really wish I would have known so that I could have done this. It is something I really wanted... But then again, I just have that much b*tch in me.

tidetravel · September 2009

That is an insane number. I would be temped to send an invoice too, although I wouldn't. I would, however, seriously consider not talking to those people for a significant amount of time.

blackfire5th · September 2009

Oh oh! Just take it out of any gifts for them in the future! Like birthday/Christmas gifts, wedding gifts, baby shower gifts....

Gardini5 · September 2009

I can honestly tell you that if they didn't tell you within a day or so why they didn't come, I'd probably swear them off! Everyone knows that once they RSVP they need to come because you are going to pay for them no matter what!!

kmmssg · September 2009

That's a crazy number! Things happen on short notice and I can be gracious about that. If someone told me they just didn't feel like coming after RSVP'ing yes, I WOULD most likely tell them that their decision not to attend after accepting the invitation cost me XX dollars for their dinner/drinks, and the next time they RSVP, please don't do that to the couple. When I am met with blatant rudeness, I have no problem calling them out. When DH and I married 13 yrs ago we had a large number of no shows but a horrid flu bug was running amok and we had a LOT of sick guests. I had no problem with them staying home!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2009

If someone told me they "didn't feel like it" I would wait for them to contact me in the future before contacting them. Seriously. Who does that? GOING to weddings take planning, like buying a gift and possibly new clothes. Really, I don't mind penciling things like that it and then STICKING TO IT. I hate how selfish some people are. I wouldn't be surprised if someone told you that something better came up. Seriously.