I don't want a reception. What are my option???

Re: I don't want a reception. What are my option???

• Lasairiona member

  

  March 2010

  If you don't want a reception, don't have a ceremony. You can't have one without the other.
  
  Tons of people have receptions everyday where dancing is not done. It's not a required thing. It's also not required to invite people you don't want there. Just a simple dinner is fine as long as you cover all the costs. That is still a reception even if it does not have all the trappings that a traditional reception does.

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• banana468 member

  

  March 2010

  You don't need a reception - but that also means that you're not going to invite people to the ceremony either.

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• Lasairiona member

  

  March 2010 edited March 2010

  But keep in mind that to make the ceremony legal, you do need at least 2 witnesses. Whomever you invite as those witnesses needs to be treated to something following.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2010

  Taking everyone out to dinner after the ceremony would be a reception.  A reception doesn't have to be a traditional big dinner and dancing thing.  It can be as simple as cake and punch in the church basement.  But if you invite people to witness your ceremony, you need to host them for some sort of reception after.

  
  

  Have you considered a destination wedding?  Then you could cut your guest list way down and get away from that big reception feel.  

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• mbcdefg member

  

  March 2010

  A "reception" simply means that you are hosting your wedding guests for refreshments after the ceremony.
  
  Meaning, if you invite people to witness your ceremony, you are obligated to feed them afterward ... like PP said, you can have cake and coffee and that's it, or you can take everyone out to a restaurant for dinner. It is perfectly O.K. to skip the DJ, skip the dancing, skip the toasts, skip the giant white gown, whatever you want. As long as you seat and feed your guests, you can do whatever you want or skip whatever you don't like. A "reception" is not automatically a giant party.
  
  But if you mean that you do not want to entertain anyone after the ceremony, then you cannot invite them to the ceremony because it's rude not to feed them afterward. It's perfectly O.K. for you and your fiance to elope or have a private ceremony, then do whatever you want afterward (because you will not have guests to entertain).
  

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  March 2010

  
  
  Just so you know  for most of us dinner is what costs the most amount of money .If you do not want to spend $25k that is fine.  I just do not want you to have some idea that removing dancing will somehow make your wedding cheaper.  Dinner for 110 guests can still set you back some cash in some areas.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• AutumnEnchantment

  

  March 2010

  I too don't like attention drawn to myself more than I have to, I cannot dance to save my life, I didn't want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, I dread going to wedding receptions myself because they last forever, I HATE all DJs I come across and think they're some of the most annonying people I've ever met, and I find it impossible to go into debt over one day - especially when the FI and I are trying to get a new house soon for us and our 6 year old son.
  
  So that being said -deep breath- I decided on a "cake and punch" reception.  It's how receptions used to be long ago.  Cake, a few other deserts/fruit, and some punch/other refreshments.  It'll last 2 hours and everyone can get a little socializing in after the wedding.  I'll certainly have background music played at the reception site and I might still do some kids activity packets for the children. 
  
  At least in my area, I cut my wedding down by a landslide.  It was well worth it and I'm actually looking forward to things once again - as I don't have to worry about being more of a focus of attention nor do the FI and I have to take those dancing lessons we were thinking of .  I'd highly consider it myself, it's turning into one of the best decisions that I've made.

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• AutumnEnchantment

  

  March 2010

  PS: I will state that it helps that my wedding is either at 1:30 or 2 (I was told 2 by the Deacon but Church office says 1:30...go figure haha, but I've 599 days to find out details!) so it's not at a time someone would be expecting a meal.  I'll part with my guests come 2 hours of the reception and allow them to go have their evening, while myself, the parents of myself and the FI, and the bridal party go out to eat at a nice restaurant.

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• danieliza1127 member

  

  March 2010

  You can have a reception and NOT have dancing and all of that.  Receptions are a way to thank your guests for spending the day with you, for being a part of your wedding.  It doesn't mean you have to have drinking and dancing and special dances, those are just things some people do. 
  
  Taking everyone out to dinner IS a reception, and that's a great option if you don't want dancing.  You could also just have an afternoon wedding followed by cake and punch and call it a day.  You do have to have something for your guests after the wedding, but it can be whatever you and your FI are comfortable with.
  

  
  

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• hilbot

  

  March 2010

  We are having a morning wedding and a brunch reception after... no dancing, just some brunch food and cake. The only alcohol will be champagne. It's only costing us about $1600 for about 90 people... nowhere even close to 25K!

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• gottahavashorti member

  

  March 2010

  If you don't want a reception, have a private ceremony with just the two of you.
  
  But it sounds like what you don't want is a big blowout dinner and dancing reception in a ballroom.  Dancing isn't a requirement, a full meal isn't requirement if the ceremony & reception aren't during a meal time and spending a ton of money isn't a requirement.  A restaurant lunch or dinner, cake and punch, dessert and a backyard BBQ can all be wedding receptions.
  
  Going to dinner at a nice restaurant is a reception as long as all of your ceremony guests are invited and fed.
  

  
  
  Planning/Married Biology

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• punky4711 member

  

  March 2010

  I think that you should do whatever will make you and your Fiance happy.
  We are in the same situation, we would have loved to run away somewhere and get married but wont because my grandmother can't make the trip. But i am in total agreement that i do not want to spend thousands of dollars, and act like someone i am not. Neither Bill or I are comfortable being the center of attention.
  
  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a restaurant reception .. there are no rules to a wedding, thats part of the beauty.
  
  We are having a ceremony on the beach (for legal purpose, not religious) having our photos done and then meeting everyone a restaurant that has a large reception room. We are keeping it simple, for many reasons, budget being the main issue. It not at all that I dont want to share the whole day with my family but i also want it to be a day where i feel comfortable, acting like myself. Not putting on a show for everyone else...
  Good luck with your plans & message me anytime you feel you need support !
  Laura
  

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