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Jewish Weddings

Favors

I have an odd question. Do Jewish weddings typically give out favors to the guests? Italian weddings, yes, but when I mentioned the idea to my (Jewish) FI, he was like, "I've never received a favor at a wedding before...and they were all Jewish weddings"

Re: Favors

  • edited December 2011
    We did them - the embroidered kippot for the men, escort card frames (our wedding colors were silver and gold, so we got silver-toned and gold-toned frames) and bags of Russian chocolates (I was born in Russia).  I have seen favors at Jewish weddings, and I have seen no favors at non-Jewish weddings; I think it just depends on the wedding budget and availability of discretionary spending.  If you have the budget to afford them and want to do them, I don't think anyone will think badly of you, and if you don't want to do them or don't have that in your budget, nobody will think anything is amiss.
  • edited December 2011
    We gave chocolate on the way out @ the end of the night.
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we didn't do them, but it is certainly fine if you want to!
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  • edited December 2011
    There are no rules, but, I will tell you that I've never been to an all Jewish wedding that had favors. The interfaith weddings I've been to have had them.
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've never been to a Jewish wedding that had favors either. And I've only been to one interfaith one that did (although I've been to numerous interfaith ones that didn't). They're just not done in my crowd and it's definitely not a question of money or budget -- if it was expected or remotely desired, I would have paid for them. But I couldn't see the point, especially since people who are accustomed to them always make fun of how pointless they are.
  • edited December 2011
    Rather than give something out that not everyone could have enjoyed, we donated money to the ASPCA.
  • edited December 2011
    I have seen it both ways.  We are doing a donation to the American Cancer Society.  I have seen a lot of donations at Jewish weddings, but also at non-jewish weddings too.  I say, do whatever you prefer, there is no right or wrong answer IMO.
  • edited December 2011
    Most of the Jewish weddings I've been to have been Orthodox and they've all had grace after meals booklets, which I think are considered the favors.
  • edited December 2011
    I think wedding favors in general are a bit of a waste of money. I love the edible ones but the personalized picture frames, etc. could be skipped. We're doing a donation in lieu of favors.
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  • edited December 2011
    we made a donation to Magen David Adom and indicated so on our menu cards, we did a candy buffet as a "thank you" or favor of sorts with (inexpensive) personalized stickers on the bags and the guests made their own (small) bags with gourmet kosher chocolates/choc covered pretzels/cordials. I also was not a fan of spending several dollars per perosn on a keepsake that gets thrown in a drawer or only means something memorable to the bride and groom themselves.
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think often there are kippot and/or grace after meals booklets given to guests, although they may not be called "favors."  I don't think there is any specific objection to favors in Jewish weddings, but they are strictly optional (and a relatively recent innovation) in any wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    We're going to do edible things that each represent where we are from... caramel apple for me (from "the big apple" NY), and Tastykake for FI (he's from Philly). I also didn't want to give something that wasn't edible. I never know what to do with those kind of things.
  • edited December 2011
    I've only been to Jewish weddings (reform and conversative) and all have some type of favor (they were across the US too- Minneapolis, Miami, Michigan, Illinois, NY, Los Angeles, TX, etc). Most have been something edible, but I've also received escort card frames/coasters. All of my Jewish gf's and myself are planning on some type of edible favor as well.
  • MoFreeMoFree member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I converted to Judaism, so it was the norm among my Christians friends and relatives to give favors. However, we decided against it and instead made a donation to a local food pantry in honor of our guests. Several people mentioned to me afterwards that they thought it was a wonderful gesture.
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  • lachlomlachlom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've only been to Orthodox weddings, but the kippot and/or benchers(prayer books for grace after meals)/siddurs are considered the favours! Many families I have visited have a wide collection of benchers from all of their friends & family weddings they have attended. It's actually pretty fun. For those who use them, it is a very very functional 'favour' that your guests will probably have for years to come.Beyond that, I don't think the more religious or traditional Jewish weddings put much weight into favours.
  • signingjuliesigningjulie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Same as what I said on the other post: most Jewish weddings I've seen don't really have favors. I've been to 2 that have - a mini bottle of wine with a personalized lablel and a little box of seashell chocolates (her theme was the beach). I don't think it's a really "Jewish" thing to do, but there are no set rules. We are probably going to donate to American Cancer Society instead of favors. My one friend had mini take out bags with their monogram on them that guests could put chocolate covered pretzels or other desserts in. I thought that was cute.
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