Invitation wording for child-less weddings

[Deleted User] · September 2009

Hello, Anyone who had a wedding where you did not want guests to bring children, how did you include that message in your invitation? TIA ~Mel ♥

KatieintheCity · September 2009

We didn't put any special wording, we just didn't put the kids names on the invitation. Only one person asked about it. We also told our parents so they could spread the word to any relatives who might need clarification.

phkesner · September 2009

Agreed. Just address the invitation and any inner envelope to the parents only. We told some out of town ppl that we were happy to refer them to a baby sitter in an email since we thought this would affect their travel plans.

tracy_k · September 2009

I'm not saying anything on the actual invitation, but I'm simply not addressing the invites to include children. Also, in the supporting material I'm saying something along the lines of "Our ceremony & reception will be held in a historic mansion, and the reception is scheduled to last until 11 p.m. The venue does not offer suitable accomodations for children," but friendlier.

guacamolly · September 2009

I personally wouldn't say anything about not having children - not event he suitable for kids part. To me, it just comes off not nice. I think if you pass the word on to your mom, etc, and don't put the names on the invitation, you'll be fine.

OFF · September 2009

Agreed dont put the name on the invites and have your parents and the FI parents spread the word. If anyone asks then you can say sorry but we've decided to have an adults only reception.

hg2678 · September 2009

I'm struggling with this. I know it's considered improper to say anything on the invitation, but I have been to at least one wedding and heard about several others where kids were not invited, their names weren't on the invitation envelopes, but their parents brought them anyway. Yes, it's totally inappropriate to bring anyone, child or otherwise, who isn't explicitly invited, but not everyone knows or respects the proper etiquette. You can't very well turn people away if they show up with kids, so if they do, there goes your child-free wedding. And I would be horrified to have some child start crying in the middle of my ceremony, so this really worries me.I think what we'll do is, once we get RSVPs from people, we'll contact the ones who have kids and say something like, "Will you be all set with childcare arrangements?" and/or spread the word through mutual friends, like "I don't want to say anything to her directly because I don't want to be rude, but please make sure Jane knows that her kids are not invited."

[Deleted User] · September 2009

Yes, this is my concern as well. I don't want to leave it up to assumption that because the kids were not on the invitation, they will know not to bring them. I think some parents just assume they can bring their children with them everywhere and it will be understood. However, my ceremony and reception are in the same location and I simply do not want children there. Fortunately, I don't think too many of those invited are parents, so I would like to think word of mouth would take care of it. But I just really don't want to risk it. My MOH suggested "Adult reception to immediately follow", but the part I don't want the children at is the actual ceremony, so I don't want them thinking it is OK for one and not the other. Plus, I don't know how I feel about the word "Adult" on my invite... LOL blame it on the dirty mind, but I associate that with "Adult stores, Adult films, Adult toys..." lol.

hg2678 · September 2009

I'm in the same boat, where my ceremony and reception are in the same place. I'd offer to provide a babysitter, which would solve the problem, but frankly, all of the invitees who have kids are local, so they should have their own babysitters already and we shouldn't have to pay for someone and assume that liability when they can easily take care of it themselves.

tracy_k · September 2009

Like I said, I'm still working on the wording.

But I'd rather specify somewhere that kids aren't invited than have to contact people who RSVP that they're bringing them and tell them no, or deal with having folks just show up with kids. I'm confident I can word it in such a way that it won't offend, and honestly, I know my friends pretty well -- none of them are the type to take offense to something like that.Besides, if someone is so uptight that something as benign as that is going to offend them, I don't know that they'd have a very good time at the wedding anyway.

sylveste · September 2009

I addressed the envelopes to the adults and put a line on my wedding website about it being adults only and to let us know if guests needed assistance finding babysitters. No one has been offended and I think a few were relieved.

guacamolly · September 2009

Not trying to stir the pot... BUT.I'm find the bride contacting guests to ask if they've arranged childcare more offensive than stating something about an adult only party on the invitation if you feel you need to officially state it. I think you might not be giving your friends enough credit that they'll figure it out - but again you know your peeps better than we do. Sometimes people just don't "get it".

m_masino · September 2009

I'm in a predicament with this...I have two cousins ages 11 and 13. My mother called me and said, "You have no choice....you will invite them." So there went my no children at the reception or wedding mantra. My wedding will now be All adults with the exception of two young kids. Nice.

[Deleted User] · September 2009

Well at least they are 11 and 13 and can sit quietly. I am worried about the parents who just shrug off crying children as "well, their babies... what do you expect?". I can't STAND that. I have been to wedding before like that and I also don't want children running around at the reception. 11 and 13 should be OK, but I would actually be worried that they would be bored being the only kids there...maybe you should ask mention that to your Mom? I am also going to have to have a few children because the ring bearer and flower girl will be there, plus my son who will be 7 (but can sit quietly) and the my fiance's nephew who will be 6 who is the RB & FG's brother. I just don't want anymore than that.

hg2678 · September 2009

I agree, it's the much younger kids (infants and toddlers) that I worry about more. I was at a wedding a few weeks ago where a baby started crying as the ceremony started, and inexplicably, it took about 15 minutes before the mother finally got up and took the child out of the church... only to return a few minutes later and have the child start fussing again. All the guests were looking around at each other with these shocked and appalled looks on their faces. If that were my wedding... *shudder*

tyresec · September 2009

I guess I am the only person who does not think its a bad idea to put it on the invite. We put it on an "insert" because my family is not the most courteous of people and will bring who ever they want to. I have been to weddings in my family where a cousin has actually had to put on the invitation that "only those who RSVP will be gauranteed a place to sit" and people still did not RSVP and showed up anyway...they had over 20 extra guests!!! So, I say this to mean that you have to take stock of your personal situation and decide if 1) people will be offended, 2) if you care one way or another if they are offended...

[Deleted User] · September 2009

Yeah I'm not worried about offending anyone. I am a mom of a six year old and if I got an invite stating No Children, I honestly wouln't care. It's almost a relief to go off and have a fun time as a grown up every once in a while. I know I want to include the rule somehow, I am just looking for direct yet not too harsh wording.

tyresec · September 2009

we put "adult reception" in the hopes that they wouldn't bring the kids to the ceremony either

ajbizzle · September 2009

We are putting "adult reception" as welll and not addressing their names on the invites.

essian · September 2009

My fiance and I are planning to put 'Adult Reception Only' too somewhere on the invite. The reason being we have been to several weddings where some of our friends still showed up with their kids even with that wording on the invite so we might as well put it on:) I just don't get it but it is what it is so we wanna guard ourselves against that as much as possible.I think it's all up to u and knowing your audience.

Invitation wording for child-less weddings

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