I Think I picked the Wrong Dress

bellakt19 · September 2009

Originally I had planned on buying my own wedding dress because my fiance and I's families can't afford anything towards our wedding. I went into one bridal shop ( that I have now googled and has a million horrible reviews. The woman is a rip-off, I bought $100 ugly shoes because it was in the contract and I had to buy them the day I went into the store on my third time trying on my dress! ) I only tried on 4 dresses, and all my bridesmaids and I picked the 4th. My mother ended up paying for the dress, and is still making payments! She is also on disability and that makes me feel bad enough in itself. I was watching the show " Say Yes to the Dress" last night and realized I should have shopped around more! I also should have tried a different variety of styled dressed on as well! Although the 4 dresses I tried on were of different styles, I feel deep down it wasn't enough now. Looking at the pictures of myself in the dress, I have a huge gut feeling that this is not "The One!". My mother does not have the money to be buying this dress in the first place, and it's already too late!!! Has anyone else been in this situation where they bought a dress and regret it?!?!?!? PLEASE HELP!!!!

joebeth22 · September 2009

YES! I had dress regret (well put, by the way) almost immediately. Ordered the Maggie Sottero Michele. But then I allowed myself to remember why I chose it in the first place (the day or two before -- hehe) and that was because it made me gleam, my eyes, skin hair, from the way the beading is done on top, and I also remembered the tiny waistline it gave me and the shimmery satin bottom and I started to breathe again -- a bit. I also started to accessorize, not that it needs much. Bought shoes that I love (Something Bleu - high heel pumps in a satin with a jewel clip on the front) and vintage rhinestone slip earrings that cover most of the ear, plus lacy gaunlets (love those) and am trying to get a Golden Corsette to fit to cinch in my waist even more (one that's too tight is on this site for sale actually). So I'm feeling a bit better, so there's no telling for sure whether 'tween now and December I'll cheat on my dress, or even buy another one. As for your mother's situation -- think of it this way -- I'll be she loved buying you a dress, really wanted to do this for you. If you feel that badly about the money, I bet you're working and why don't you gently tell her you'd like to pay her back, maybe about half over the next coupla' months? If you do cheat on your dress and find another one, truth wins out, straight up tell Mom and you and FI will have to pay for this yourself, plus pay mom back. Oh, and there's always the possibility the store will let you exchange this one -- sleep on it another few days -- as long as they get to keep the money and the order hasn't gone through -- maybe you can choose another? Go try on some more there; you'll know then. And go yourself so you can think straight and quietly.

desertmomnm · September 2009

I did have dress regret, mostly as the alterations started and it would never fit right, but I kept it, wore it, and it was very pretty. I think you do have "the one" because it's the one you own. It might not be perfect, but it's just the dress. I felt a lot of pressure hanging on this board when I was planning my wedding. Don't know if that's part of it for you. In your situation, I would wear the dress you own. You picked it for a reason.

duckie1905 · September 2009

I didn't suffer from dress regret but I also bought my own dress and once I found one I liked I stopped looking.The least you can do considering your mother can't afford the dress you already have is suck it up and just wear it.Or, pay for your dress and then if you want to, go out and buy a second with your money.

ring_pop · September 2009

Because you've got your mom involved by having her pay for the dress, it's a delicate situation. I think your mom's financial security is the most important issue here. Closely followed by her feelings.I would condone looking for a new dress IF you can:1. Either get your mom's money back from the dress shop, or pay your mom back the money she's paid, AND2. Convince your mom to back out of buying the current dress without hurting her feelings. Personally, I'd say something to the effect of "Mom, thank you so much for buying my dress, it's beautiful and I'm so touched that you did that, but I was thinking it, and I really don't feel that a dress is worth the trouble that you're going through to pay for it." AND...3. Pay for your own dress next timeOtherwise, like the others said, suck it up and keep this dress. Take responsibility for the fact that you didn't do your due diligence or think through your decision carefully enough. It's just a dress, for crissakes.I won't lie - I had a moment of weakness about my dress too. But I never once thought about buying a second dress. Instead, I posted on the board and clearly told people - "Tell me this is the right dress and validate my decision, since the decision has already been made."If you can find some way to partially pay for your dress without hurting your mom's feelings, do that too.

SarahSmile23 · September 2009

dress regret is normal. two of my best friends had dress regret. even i posted on here in a panic because i had dress regret. i ended up loving my dress.

it's normal. breathe. do you have photos of yourself in this dress? do you have anything in particular about this dress that you DONT like? or do you just panic every time you see another pretty gown?

Deidra123 · September 2009

you could always get another job or some other income source and pay for the dress yourself (that would at least relieve the guilt of your Mother having to pay for it). Let me get this right. The contract requires you to buy *shoes*? That's odd. Why don't you see if she has soemthing else that you think you'd like more. Maybe she'll swap out the dresses for you. Also, read the fine print of the contract. It may be that you only lose a portion of your money (e.g., the deposit, 20% of what has been paid). If that's the case, maybe you should cut your losses and go find another dress.Last option. Tell her she is unscrupulous and you will report her to the Better Business Bureau if she does not give you a *written, signed* release from the contract.

If she doesn't do it, report her, and cut your losses.

mayzie021 · September 2009

My situation is a little different than yours but very close. My mom lives out of state and I arranged to fly her in to help me pick out my wedding dress. We went to the first store I tried on probably 12-15 dresses. There was a dress that my mom and I both liked. I was so excited I went home slept on it and then had my MOH come with us to look at the dress again the following day. She loved it as much as my mom and I did. My mom purchased the dress for me and the veil as my wedding gift - they were both pricey and she lives on a fixed income. I came home and posted the dress here - I got mixed reactions that made me re-think my dress option and took some of the fun out of my experience. I'm a little disappointed in myself, because while she was here I was so upset about comments made and it ruined the last few days she was out here. I tried to cancel my dress a few days later and their policy is All Sales Final. It took a while - this happened middle of August and now I'm glad they wouldn't let me cancel the dress, it's the one I picked out. Some of the other ladies have touched on this within their answers above - realistically you picked out the dress and overall it's just a dress. I have thought about purchasing another dress a few times - but I would never hurt my mom's feelings - I love her more than I love the dress and that's the way it should be. My suggestion to you is keep the dress and help her pay it off.

PinkPanthaRae · September 2009

I'm also stuck in a very similar situation. I got my dress three days after I had got engaged to my fiance. My FMIL was ecstatic and really wanted to start looking for dresses. Well aware of how ecstatic she was, and the fact that she had no daughters that she'd ever get to do this with, I agreed to go dress shopping with her. The thing was, I had ZERO plans for my wedding at the time. Now that I know what I want/have set for my wedding. I'm really regretting the dress. At the time, we looked at several dresses and narrowed it down to 2-3 that we liked. We found out that one of them was on sale for $140. My FMIL was sold on it, told me that I'd never find a dress like this for this price. She had me try it on and offered to buy it for me even though it was two sizes too big. She hammered it into my head that it could easily be altered and it'd be no big deal. So I caved in and let her do so because she had me absolutely convinced that I'd never find a dress at that kind of deal. The thing is now that I'm finally around to planning, I know the dress absolutely DOES NOT go along with the theme I have planned at all. The train is very long and definitely not made for the outside. The ceremony is going to be on the beach and the reception back at a reception hall. I'm so afraid the dress is going to get ruined during the ceremony since I know my MOH can't stand behind me the whole ceremony and during pictures holding the train up.I tried to talk this conflict over with my FMIL and she refuses to even meet me halfway. I offered to buy my own dress for the beach and wear her dress for the reception. I love her to death, but she was extremely harsh when she responded back. She told that having a second dress was a dumb idea and that the pictures would look ugly and inconsistent if I had separate dresses for the ceremony and reception. I personally do not see the big deal at all nor does my fiance or any of my bridesmaid/MOH, but anytime I bring the idea up to her she turns it down immediately. It's like she completely tunes out any suggestion I have. It really sucks and I have no clue at all how to handle the situation.

I Think I picked the Wrong Dress

Re: I Think I picked the Wrong Dress

Choose Another Board

Search Boards