To Invite or Not?

namae_nai · May 2010

So I'm having a small wedding with pretty much just close friends and family. I think I invited 75 but in reality am only expecting 50-60 at the most. I just sent out my save the dates end of last month. I have a few invite dilemmas though. There are 3 girls from work that really want to come. They know I'm getting married so they ask me questions about my wedding planning and hinted at wanting to go.

Also, I have another friend who I have not seen in years. I wouldn't say we are super close but we've just kept in touch. He actually just got married in December and I was not invited at all. Not that I care because he is out of state and I wouldn't have been able to make the trip anyways. I just got an e-mail from him out of the blue saying we don't talk as much, kind of a catch up e-mail and he said he hopes that he and his wife are invited to the wedding.

I thought we had this understanding that we were happy for each other but weren't inviting each other to our weddings. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to have to write a curt nice e-mail back saying unfortunately it's a very small wedding and it's only really close friends and family. But thought I'd get some opinions first.

Butter Cookie · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_invite-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0c9d76c7-1609-4e47-b080-aae86e7f97c3Post:2d8225ac-de42-4268-872f-b4de6bbed822">To Invite or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]So I'm having a small wedding with pretty much just close friends and family. I think I invited 75 but in reality am only expecting 50-60 at the most. I just sent out my save the dates end of last month. I have a few invite dilemmas though. There are 3 girls from work that really want to come. They know I'm getting married so they ask me questions about my wedding planning and hinted at wanting to go. Also, I have another friend who I have not seen in years. I wouldn't say we are super close but we've just kept in touch. He actually just got married in December and I was not invited at all. Not that I care because he is out of state and I wouldn't have been able to make the trip anyways. I just got an e-mail from him out of the blue saying we don't talk as much, kind of a catch up e-mail and he said he hopes that he and his wife are invited to the wedding. I thought we had this understanding that we were happy for each other but weren't inviting each other to our weddings. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to have to write a curt nice e-mail back saying unfortunately it's a very small wedding and it's only really close friends and family. But thought I'd get some opinions first.
Posted by namae_nai[/QUOTE]

You don't want to start down this road. "Well you invited your coworkers!"

That's what you'll hear if you start to bend. Instead say, "I would love for you to come but we got a place that holds 60, and we're already at capacity."

This way you don't offend people. I mean, you have to abide by fire codes, right?

mrsconn23 · May 2010

You don't have to write a 'curt' email. Just thank him for contacting you and explain that you are having a small wedding and only inviting close friends and family. And really, he'll get the hint if you don't send him an invitation.

6fsn · May 2010

Don't invite anyone else. Just say you appreciate their interest, but there is no room.

Heffalump · May 2010

I agree with mrs.conn. While it's rude for people to try to invite themselves to your wedding, your reply can still be gracious and polite.

Or, for those who saw the "f*** you and your kids" FB status post from yesterday, there's always that route: F*** you and your wife. But I don't recommend it.

mayerel · May 2010

I think the most appropriate way out of these dilemmas is the same response, "Wow, I'm really glad you'd like to come, but we're keeping the wedding very small, family and very close friends only."

Your co-workers should understand that, and you don't want to get into you invited so and so, why didn't I get invited.

And your friend should also understand, and if he doesn't, oh well. You should not have to cater to everyone else's wished about being invited!!

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