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Jewish Weddings

Friday night dilemma

Hi Ladies,I need some advice/input! FI and I are at a loss of what to do...We're having our wedding on a Sunday, and my parents are hosting a BBQ the Saturday afternoon. The majority of our guests are coming from out of town (including ourselves - it is in my hometown). FMIL is insisting that she has to host a Friday night dinner for 'her people'. We were going back and forth a lot because FI and I feel obligated to be there (while including my parents' and our guests too). Fi's parents are also hosting a party a few months prior to invite the people who can't come or were not invited (we're trying to keep the wedding small). This means that on top of the wedding there would be 3 other events, which is way too much for FI, and I think I'll be too overwhelmed before Sunday rolls around.We had decided to let her do her thing Friday and my parents would visit with their family. FI and I thought we could do something with friends/cousins (go to a bar, bowling, etc).My problem is that I think it's weird for FI and I not to be at these things Friday since everyone's coming for OUR wedding. I didn't want to do friday because of the cost (it will cost nearly as much as the wedding dinner), and the fact that FI never wanted a big wedding. FMIL says it's fine for us not to be there, but I feel strange about the whole thing. PLUS people may not even be flying in in time for the Friday dinner.HELP! What should we do!?!?

Re: Friday night dilemma

  • edited December 2011
    honestly, if this is just a dinner for "her people" because she feels obligated to feed out of town guests, then let her do it and do your own thing. I agree, being around guests 2 days in a row just before your wedding will get exhausting and overwhelming. I say do your thing with your friends/family and just attend the saturday bbq (thats open to everyone already in town? including FI's side?)
  • edited December 2011
    The BBQ will be for family and OOT guests. This will include the majority of people.I think we'll just have to get over feeling obligated and do what we want Friday (spend time w/ our friends). Spent too much time stressing about this already.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Alina; you are already stressing and the weekend isn't even here yet!  Just make sure to sit her down and explain that you won't be going because it'll just be too much and for her to give pass along your thanks to those that show. That your parents will go is a nice gesture.  If you really feel like you have to go, then go and stay for no more than an hour.  Trust me, folks will understand. Other than the aufruf luncheon the day before, we aren't doing any gathering.  While it might have been better to do this earlier, since folks will be in from out of town, it was best to do this the day before for everyone to get to hang out with us a bit before the wedding.  He'll probably spend the rest of the day with family; I've decided I'm going to go home and check my list one last time, then enjoy the solitude.  :D
  • edited December 2011
    I'm putting in my vote for you doing your own thing.
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