Confessions

melb2013 · July 2012

I'm I'm super sick and feeling very cynical today so...

Confess one part of your relationship that you would like to fix.

melb2013 · July 2012

I yell. It's a problem. I'll legitimately be upset about something, but then I never get my point across to FI, because I just start to yell. I've gone to writing emails to him when I'm upset so that I can calmly tell him my problem.

SSaltzman87 · July 2012

I wish sometimes that FI could stick to his opinions more. It bugs the crap out of me that he either changes his opinion constantly or can't back up what he says.

For Example, he's weirdly adamant against having a RD. The only reason he's said he's against it is because he doesn't want my parents to spend the money on it, which is sweet of course- but my parents want to have one to be hospitable for our WP and their S/Os. Also, my family's the entertaining type, so chances are if my parents don't do something, somebody else would anyway. I don't feel that FI has backed up his point enough to justify his feelings.

His parents aren't able to contribute at all which is fine, but I know it bothers FI at times- maybe that's part of it since traditionally the groom's family pays?

turtleslove · July 2012

FI gets mad at me for dealing with my problems myself and never telling him whats wrong, okay I understand. However he bottles things up so when I finally do bring an issue to him he starts digging up all the stuff he's upset about but never told me. Makes an argument last forever and nothing gets acomplished.

Way better than my past relationships where he could never talk about problems and would just tell me what I wanted to hear to end the argument though...

sbc2013 · July 2012

I'm a talker. It takes significantly more talking for me to feel resolved after a fight/disagreement than for FI to feel resolved. He can get over things and be ok (even when I'm in the wrong) in 15 seconds. I need to talk it out, especially when I'm in the wrong. I guess I really want to feel like he understands where I was coming from and genuinely accepted my apology. So I wish I could change that--I guess either that he was more expressive post-fight/disagreement or that I needed less expression post-fight/disagreement.

bburkel · July 2012

we have a pretty good honest relationship. He tells me when he doesnt' like something and we discuss pretty much everything. The only thing I'd change is my FI's need to have at home time all the time. He doesn't like having many plans because he has lots of anxiety issues. he's getting better, and I've learned to work around it by giving him plenty of notice when I can of things that are coming up. But, always having one weekend day at home doesn't necessarily work all the time.

RebCappon · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:c74b80db-b3f0-43d5-b367-cc35c5994835Post:2c4d864a-e052-49c4-a923-d155b8f88c1a">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I yell. It's a problem. I'll legitimately be upset about something, but then I never get my point across to FI, because I just start to yell. I've gone to writing emails to him when I'm upset so that I can calmly tell him my problem.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one. The e-mails help though because then my thoughts are focused and afterwards its easier for us to talk it out.

Also a little bit with FI being wishy washy about decisions.

DivaJenD · July 2012

FI and I are actually very different in a lot of ways.. He sees the world in black and white; I see the world in gray. He grew up in a family where decisions were made by the parents, while I was encouraged to form my own views/opinions on everything. As a result, I tend to speak my mind, as well as play devli's advocate more often than I probably should... He tends to keep his mouth shut on most things... until it builds up so much that he has an outburst and yells at me (which happens maybe once every 4 or 5 months). We balance each other out in most areas, but I do wish we saw eye-to-eye on more things. We're so different... it keeps things interesting and has allowed both of us to grow as people over the last 4 and a half years, but sometimes I wish we didn't always feel the need to compromise and there was more agreement.

shano06 · July 2012

I dnt communicate with FI as great as I would like to. If we have an issue about something, I always shut down. Its easier for me to write down my feelings than to tell FI to his face. I've always had that problem. I just hate confrontation but it really just makes it worse. I need to fix that. And also, FI was brought up to think for the future, and I live in the moment. He makes decisions based on how its gonna affect us ten years from now, and I'm more like we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Sometimes it gets difficult, but we always work thru it.

Annas2013 · July 2012

Hmmmm. I wish I could go with the flow better. FI is a very unstructured person and I live by my color-coded agenda. For me, last minute plans aren't an option, but for him they're amazing. It'd be awesome if we could find a happy medium.

vchan4 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:c74b80db-b3f0-43d5-b367-cc35c5994835Post:923df523-ddc9-490f-a628-447240387787">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE] I tend to speak my mind, as well as play devli's advocate more often than I probably should..
Posted by DivaJenD[/QUOTE]

<div>That would be probably one of my biggest problems - I need to listen more. I tend to yell too when I get upset even if I dont think I'm yelling lol</div>

TogetherPerfect · July 2012

We both have to be right. And this sucks. lol It causes those little petty arguments that no one wants. I'm getting to the point though where I will say "Ok, this is getting silly, we'll agree to disagree" and that ends it. We are both so stubborn!

kmsst48 · July 2012

Mine never shuts the heck up! He just talks and talks and talks. I wish that he could learn the art of conversation and not lecturing. LOL, it's actually one of the reasons I fell in love with him but now it irks my nerves. He also does not like to wear pants... ever. I wish he would wear pants. We have a lot of people who just"drop in," and he never has freaking pants on.

jessbrooks1024 · July 2012

Getting upset over little stuff.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_confessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:c74b80db-b3f0-43d5-b367-cc35c5994835Post:3357e847-721b-4816-ba13-46dce377652e">Re: Confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine never shuts the heck up! He just talks and talks and talks. I wish that he could learn the art of conversation and not lecturing. LOL, it's actually one of the reasons I fell in love with him but now it irks my nerves. <strong>He also does not like to wear pants... ever. I wish he would wear pants. We have a lot of people who just"drop in," and he never has freaking pants on.</strong>
Posted by kmsst48[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This cracked me up!

</div>

SRRL18 · July 2012

I hate to confess this, but here goes nothing, my sex drive. It`s a hit and miss with me. I could go days without sex simply because I don`t crave it. FI is a major horn dog (what man isn't?). Having kids it makes it harder because I like spontaneous sex and it's impossible. With work, the kids, taking care of the house and wedding planning I'm exhausted at night and just want to curl up with a book and then fall asleep.

hisbabygirl76 · July 2012

FI and his "processing" of situations. He also is a craptatstic planner and it drives me nuts as I am a plannaholoic.

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