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a few wedding questions...

jillhas122jillhas122
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in New York-Upstate
~Do you think it would look wierd if I have my 7 girls and FI only has 4 guys? He cant think of 3 more guys...My girls have already been asked so there is no changing that!!~My mom and I were looking at the guest list....I have a total of 365 guests and my Mom wants to knock that down to 250......WHAT?!?!?! Anyways....a lot of our friends are single, knowing that do I really have to allow them to bring a guest? That would cut a lot of our numbers down if we just invite them and not invite a guest as well. TIA
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Re: a few wedding questions...

  • jnic0319jnic0319
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1. I am in the same boat and we're just letting 2 girls walk with each guy!  No problem there, let the MOH and BM walk alone and you're all set.  He shouldn't have to have people stand up for him he isn't close to just because you have more.2. I have no idea what to tell you, I would probably say if they're single just invite them and no guest...I cut it off on my mom and FMIL at 160 so I'm in the opposite situation..Good luck!
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  • MissLeahMMissLeahM member
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    edited December 2011
    Its totally acceptable to invite single guest by themselves, some cases if they aren't living with their 'partner' then you don't have to invite the partner either.
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
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    edited December 2011
    My opinion is that if you have friends that are single and they do not have a SO or you do not know their SO, invite them alone. If they are engaged, invite them together. If they are single, not engaged and you have befriended their SO, invite them together. If that is still too many, I would try to picture yourself in 5 or 10 years an who you still think you will be friends with. Cut the others off the list. Just my opinion.
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  • annabear07annabear07
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    edited December 2011
    Same as pp for 1) it doesn't matter! 2) If you make a rule stick to it to prevent hurt feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to invite singles with no guest.  I didn't want to pay over $100 a person for my cousins flavor of the month.  So we made a rule, if they haven't been dating for a year by the time the invitations went out, no guest invited.  The only exception was the bridal party.  It may seem harsh, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  A wedding is not a social event so no date is required.  HTH!
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  • keb270keb270
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    edited December 2011
    1. Totally fine. Who said it has to be the same in the first place?2. I only invited guests for people if they were engaged or living together. Most of my single friends said afterwards that they wouldnt have brought anyone anyhow. 365 is A LOT of people. Do you really want to invite that many? Your costs will decrease significantly if you cut your list to people you talk to etc. You would be surprised how many good friends you won't talk to even before the wedding takes place.
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  • faith194faith194 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1) Nope:)2) We invited only singletons without dates. This blew up in our face, though, with my dh's cousin's daughter. She was living at home with her parents, and we had no clue she was even in a relationship of any kind(that tells you how close we are all). Well, she brought her FI, even though he wasn't invited, nor did she ask.  Make sure your singletons are really single.
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  • jnic0319jnic0319
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    edited December 2011
    Yes agree with PP! I got a wedding invite to a girl friend from college's wedding, we kind of fell off in the past year from talking...keep in mind my FI and I have been together 4 years, my invite was to me and guest...she obviously didn't know me well enough to even know my FI name I RSVP'd no.  My rule, if I wouldn't go to theirs I'm not inviting them to mine and if I don't see us having a relationship 5 years down the road, not invited, and for the parents, if neither FI or I have ever met them they're not invited...cut our list significantly and I couldn't be happier...it will give us more time with the people that matter most to us instead of spreading it with people that I haven't talked to in a while or didn't even know we were dating in the first place!
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  • lynniearudnerlynniearudner
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1) totally agree with all pp. it is not necessary to be "matchy matchy" at all. just do what works for you 2) i agree that 365 is a LOT of people. if you are planning a large casual event then this might work out fine, but if your dream is for a formal, sit-down event with lots of "extras" then this number might become a burden. i think it depends on who the bulk of the list is - family or friends? if its family, then you might be stuck, but if its friends you might consider a much more casual "event" like a bbq, open house, etc at a time AFTER your wedding to just celebrate the union. this would probably lessen the costs. as for invitees + guests -- i think everyone is right in just saying that you need some sort of rule that you stick to. for us, it was if the invitee had been dating the + guest for long enough that we knew it was serious, and we knew them personally. if i didnt know the persons name, then i wouldnt include + guest (or + other person) on the invite.
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  • WNYfanWNYfan member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1. not a big deal - we're not having an "official" wedding party, but having our 3 brothers stand up for us for support at the ceremony. 2.  I would think about not inviting "and guest."  The one situation where I might be offended, is if I'm really only friends with the couple getting married and wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.  It would be nice for people in those situations to have their guest to talk to/hang with.
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  • caseylou81caseylou81
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1. I am having 7 girls and he has 5 guys. I think it will be just fine. Like someone else said, I didnt want him asking people just to ask, everyone who is up there is up there for a reason. Dont fake it. 2. I think it all depends with the single. I travel a lot for my job, and I asked some co-workers (who live in another state) to come. All of them are in relationships, but I could not afford to have all of their SO's. So, after chatting with all of them I made it a "girls weekend" and they are all coming together and staying together as a little getaway. So, there are ways to do it nicely, and honestly almost everyone will understand! Unless they are in a long-term relationship (except what I just did above), I would feel comfortable just putting their name only on the invite. I have a few people RSVP with another name when I invited them as single. Some people have some real big cahoonas! But, you pick your battles! Either way, people are going to want to be there for you, on your special day, and they will get over you not +1ing them. Plus, its likely they will know others there right? HTH!! Good luck!
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  • jillhas122jillhas122
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys!!! I got my list down to 304, that is not allowing our single friends to bring guests and we also put about 20 of our friends on a "b" list...I didnt want to do it but oh well!!!
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  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    304 is a huge number. Do you really talk to all of those on a regular basis? With a number that large you aren't giving youself any chance to enjoy your wedding at all, you're going to be busy thanking your guests the entire time. DH and I both have very large families and managed to get our guest list down to 250, with 190 who actually came. In hindsight, there's a lot more we could have, and wished we had cut.
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  • jillhas122jillhas122
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know not everyone will come, a lot of FI's family lives out of state and a few from my friend's list are my coworkers which will be working...I dont think all 304 will come...and we really cant "cut" anyone else....we ahve been over the list a million times. the only thing is my Mom and I might have a few doubles on our lists!
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  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unless you can afford to and have to space to accommodate 304 people, don't put 304 people on your guest list. You can't predict what people are going to do.
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  • TheSquirrelsRWatchingTheSquirrelsRWatching member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    another rule of thumb is whether they know others at the wedding or not. If the friend is from a circle of friends you are inviting, you don't need to invite their guest. However, if it is a friend who wouldn't really know anyone else, it's nice to let them bring someone.
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