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Donations In Lieu of Favor....

FI and are going to do this since we have had so many loved ones affected by different types of cancer (some survivors, some not) I know some people do NOT agree with doing this b/c some guests feel as though we're making a donation for them when that's a personal choice, or that we're announcing to everyone that we're being generous when that should be kept private.   For us, this charity means a lot to us, and most of our guests- and rather than a favor that's very cute and nice going to be tossed or eaten within 10days of the wedding, we want to do something meaningful to us.  It'd be different if it was a random charity, but this one means something. Also, we won't be making the donations in the guests names, we'll be making them In Memory Of....What are you thoughts on this?  AND do you have any ideas to tastefully let people know we are doing this in lieu of favors, without  making people feel like we're trying to be snooty about it or anything.  We don't want our guests to think we didn't want to spend our money on them, but we want our guests to know we're doing this for those that can thankfully be with us- and for those that unfortunately can't be! :(We were thinking of sticking hte place cards on envelopes with a little note inside... but how can we word it? Anyone else do this?

Re: Donations In Lieu of Favor....

  • jessica0602jessica0602 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am actually doing the exact same thing.  FFIL passed away in February so we're making our donation to the American Heart Association.   My venue has oblong tables so we're doing 2 tented cards for each end of the tables that read: Dear Family & Friends, In honor of our guests, we have made a charitable donation to The American Heart AssociationThank you for being a part of our lives and joining us on our wedding day.Love,0602 & FIMost people know how FFIL died so we're not mentioning him by name.
  • Lindsey620Lindsey620 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's a nice idea. We are doing a donation and putting a note about it in the program -- We want to thank everyone for joining us today for our marriage celebration. We are truly blessed by your love and support and to show our appreciation, we have made a donation to the American Cancer Society In loving memory of those who have fought and lost, in loving appreciation for those who have fought and won, and in loving support of those who are still fighting.
  • edited December 2011
    We did this and it is definitely more common. Guests really like this idea. We had a tri-fold at each table and one side stated, In lieu of favors, we made a donation to the American Cancer Society".
  • edited December 2011
    You can also just put something in a frame on one of the tables where people get their place cards.
  • bkallenbkallen member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Cute wording Lindsey!    I like the Tent Card idea too! :)  I think FI is oging to be uncomfortable and saddened if we name people by name, so I kind of like the idea of just wording it for just general crowd...
  • edited December 2011
    Lindsey - I LOVE that wording...makes me want to donate lol
  • Lindsey620Lindsey620 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    haha thanks - I feel like I stole it from someone else on the knot - or maybe another website a while ago. But we loved it because we know many people that fall into each of those categories. Feel free to use it if you like :-)
  • edited December 2011
    We also did a donation- We felt as though the money would be better spent on a good cause as opposed to a favor that would probably end up in the trash.
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  • edited December 2011
    I think donations are a wonderful idea, and I've never met anyone that didn't like it!  pp have had great suggestions for wording.If you're concerned about people feeling left out of the choice of donation, maybe you can choose 2 charities - maybe like, one general cancer organization, and then another specific cancer organization or something like that, and then have 2 little boxes where guests can put their 'token' or something to indicate which charity they'd like their 'portion' of the donation to go, so they feel involved in the donation?  I don't know if I explained that well, so I hope it makes sense.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto Martinsgirls.  Colin and I are always the people who forget to take a favor or take one and then throw it away.  We donated to St. Jude's and Corgi Aid (in honor of Mac)....the Corgi Aid donation was such a good decision.  They're a smaller charity and were SO excited that we had thought of them for our wedding.  Our guests really loved the idea and no one complained that they didn't get personalized M&Ms, a photo frame, coasters with our wedding date on them, etc. ;)
  • Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you because I'm in the same boat, but I think a donation is a great idea.  I can't tell you how many bottle stoppers and shot glasses we have from weddings that we don't use.  This is something that really makes a difference!
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  • edited December 2011
    We're going to be doing the same thing (a donation to the American Cancer Society instead of favors). I saw an idea somewhere of doing small framed signs with your picture and any specific wording on it (btw Lindsey, I love your wording too!) underneath a heading that says "In favor of a cure". I think it's a sweet way of making your donation known without being the least bit snooty. :)
  • edited December 2011
    I love the idea of doing a donation.  We are doing a donation to Bugles Across America, which provides a bugle player at veteran's funerals to play TAPS, free of charge to the family.  Both my grandfather and FI's grandfather served in WWII, and neither had TAPS played because there was not a bugle player to come, and our grandmothers couldn't stand the thought of a CD player.  Most likely, we will explain why we are doing, or say in memory of.If you want to do something personal (instead of the stapling to the place cards), you could go to VistaPrint and sign up for free offers, and then get either post cards or large business cards and place one at each place setting.  This is most likely what we are going to do.  Or, you could do something fun, like a basket of LIVESTRONG bracelets (I am sure you could find them in bulk on ebay or something) with a poem or card.I think the fact that you are doing a donation in memory of is so commendable, and I think that of anyone who does this.  We spend so much on weddings, why not give just a little bit of that to someone else/a charity who could really use the money?  Yours might go to helping a loved one of a cancer victim with grief counseling, O602's might go to teaching a CPR class and saving someone's life, Buttons will go to making some child and their family very, very happy for a day- I cannot think of a better way of honoring your guests than in this way.  And like PP said, so many guests forget the favor- do something that won't be forgotten.  Great choice, everyone- I really mean it.
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