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Am I Being Rude?

leannroxxorsleannroxxors
First Comment First Anniversary
in California-San Diego
So my FMIL has been really helpful with all the wedding planning and wanting to be real hands on with the wedding. I really appreciate all her help especially since I'm not very close with my own mom, it's really nice to have her with me for everything. But when my MOH and I talk about my bachelorette party my FMIL gets really upset that she's not invited? Now, am I being rude in some way? My girls and I are going downtown and club hopping for my party and I just don't feel like it's appropriate for my FMIL to be there. I feel like the party is for me and my girlfriends. But I feel guilty upsetting her when she's being so helpful. Any advice?
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Re: Am I Being Rude?

  • frenchy730frenchy730 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I though bachelorette parties were for the younger people as well, but i recently went to one that might work for you... before going out to different bars and clubs for the night, some of the bridesmaids organized a dinner at a restaurant in the gaslamp and invited all the party guests AND both mothers and the brides younger sister (she is 18 or 19 i think so couldn't go out with us) and a couple other female family members that are close to the bride that would not enjoy going out clubbing. I thought it was a nice idea to get everyone involved in some complicity.
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  • blueorchid05blueorchid05
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No you are not being rude! Bachelorette parties are for the bride and bridesmaids and whatever friends get invited additionally. Would your groom even think about inviting your dad to the bachelor party? I don't know but I'm guessing the answer is no.You can always invite her along for the bridesmaid tea/ luncheon if you like.
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  • winoweddingwinowedding member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You absolutely do not have to invite her. In fact, I was just in a wedding where the SISTER of the groom-also a BM- didn't want to go to the bach party because she didn't want to make the bride uncomfortable. If you know she's going to push for an invite, though, I would stop talking about it around her. It will likely just hurt her feelings and make it more awkward when she's not invited. Also: if your friends are throwing the party, it won't have anything to do with you when she's not invited, so, there's your out :)
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  • leannroxxorsleannroxxors
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    frenchy- That's actually a really good idea. I had not thought of doing something like that to keep her involved.blueorchid- That's exactly what I said! My dad or even his dad wouldn't go to the bachelor party, why would the moms come to my bachelorette party? That's what I always felt the bridal shower is for. wino- Yeah, I'm trying not to bring it up around her but my future sister in law keep doing it and it's really annoying! I don't wanna keep rubbing it in her face.Thanks for the input ladies!! I feel so much better!!
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  • daniellepandadaniellepanda member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You should invite her to join you for your first round of drinks at a calmer atmosphere or maybe for appetizers. Im sure she is not going to any anything/throw a fit when you guys are ready to go clubbing, she will probably just be happy you made the time to invite her for drinks in the first place.
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