Who Should Get a +1?

laurlaur414 · August 2010

Hi, Knottie Brides-

Just wondering how you all have handled the guest list +1 question. Of course guests who are married, engaged, or who have been with a significant other for a while (say, 1 year at least) automatically get the +1 on their invite. But what about the single invitees? I've heard a lot of different opinions on the matter, including:
If they won't know anyone else, give them a guest.
If they are family, they don't need a guest.
It's good to give single invitees the option to bring a guest.

Just wondering, what did/will you do? Who gets a guest on your list? Who doesn't, and did you run into any backlash because of it.

So glad to hear all your thoughts! Thanks, ladies!

jlbaxter33 · August 2010

We are giving all single guests a plus one. We figure if they want to bring someone and feel more comfortable then more power to them. But, our wedding isn't very big, about 100 people.

gmc22 · August 2010

For ours, besides of course, the people who are seriously dating for a while or engaged etc. I'm going to give a +1 to those traveling long distances 'alone.' i.e. FI and I have a few good friends from FL and from Louisana but we don't think they are dating anyone, but we're going to give them a +1 anyway so they wouldnt have to travel alone. Anyone that is close (i.e. Pittsburgh or Philly) and I know isn't seriously dating anyone isn't getting a +1 because we have to keep the guest list down (we're soaring near 400)

KRMac · August 2010

We gave everyone over 18 a +1. I can't tell you how many family (and even family friend weddings) that I attend in college and after college that I was not invited with a +1...and DH and I started dating when we were 19! So annoying to me as a guest.

I'd say about 1/2 of the guests used their +1. HTH!

duqcheer04 · August 2010

We gave our friends a +1 invite, along with DF's cousins over 18. There is only 3 cousins that aren't married or engaged, Haha!

We were not consistant across the board however. FILs did not give every single person a +1. Don't ask me how or why.

HTH!

jrsygrl10 · August 2010

we gave everyone a +1. the only ones we didn't were DH's cousins (despite them being 18+) and some of the random single aunts/uncles. i know how uncomfortable it can be to attend a wedding without a date and didn't want that for any of our guests. if any of the single aunts/uncles had asked to bring someone that would have been fine with us.

KimWard · August 2010

I gave every single person a +1, even if he or she wasn't in a serious relationship. Everyone is different though, and it depends on the size of your guest list (we had a small wedding). IMO, it's not fair to give a +1 to someone who will not know others, but no +1 to single guests that are family, as you mentioned in your OP. The only issue I had with allowing guests to bring someone was that a couple of those +1s that were supposed to come bailed at the last minute, so we paid for some people that never showed up (for ex., my BM's ex-BF that she's still good friends with).

lseemiller · August 2010

We are going to give everyone a +1. I think it is horrible attending a wedding without a date, especially if you are traveling or do not know that many people at the wedding.

AshNoel8 · August 2010

I know someone whose bf was not invited and she called the girl to see if he was, so then the girl had to invite him. To save yourself from that, maybe give everyone 18 and up a +1, as long as it fits into your budget.

aimeepavlinich · August 2010

Martha Stewart Says:

"If your relatives or friends are engaged to be married, their fiances (or fiancees) must be invited; their live-in romantic partners must be as well. However, if they are only dating, you need not invite their boyfriend or girlfriend. Should you decide to include some dates and not others, draw your cut-off line at a clearly identifiable place and communicate it to everyone who is not allowed to invite someone to accompany them.

Beware, many unmarried people find it tremendously upsetting to not be allowed to bring a date. Prepare them for the idea and pay careful attention to where the singletons sit during dinner.

As for your attendants -- letting them bring an escort would be a considerate gesture. It's not required, but they've done a lot for you."

LaFemmeRousse · August 2010

I strongly believe that every adult guest should be invited with a +1, and this is what we did.

FWIW, barely any people- maybe 3?- who were not in serious relationships used their +1.

jhelms1212 · August 2010

I recently had this discussion with my mom. She found something in Miss Manners (I think) that said if you do not know the +1's name, you should not invite them. So, you should only invite people to your wedding who you know. This could be outdated advice, but that is what she found. We haven't decided what to do about our wedding yet.

Who Should Get a +1?

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