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Major Family Issues!

My SO and I still in the very early stages of planning our weddings [ie; we haven`t really done anything], and every single time we talk about family involvement, the same issue continues to come up, and we can`t seem to come to a conclusion that will satisfy everyone:My FIL is a very heavy drug user, and an alcoholic. We both fear that he will create drama at our wedding, but we don`t want to exclude him from the most important day of our lives. We are concerned that he will arrive at the ceremony and/or reception under the influence of either alcohol or pot. We have considered simply telling him that we will not accept his behaviour - but we worry that he will just refuse to attend, and that is not our intention.We have considered closing the bar early [around 9-ish], to ensure that NO ONE will drive home under the influence, and we know that he will try to sneak his own liquor onto the premises. We also know that even if he arrives at the reception sober, he will sneak off somewhere to get high during the evening.The only thing we know for certain is that we will not hesitate to remove him from the reception should he try to start a conflict or cause discomfort to the rest of the guests.Any suggestions/words of advice?

Re: Major Family Issues!

  • arixanaarixana member
    edited December 2011
    That's a sticky one. Unfortunately you won't be able to control the behaviours of any of your guests. Knowing that this is the tendency in your FIL, you need to decide if you can accept this behaviour or not. If you do invite him, you can pretty much expect that the alcohol at your event will be too enticing for an alcoholic. Could you pair him up with a "sober partner" to have someone look out for him? Otherwise, just know that even if he wasn't there, someone else will be bound to get drunk and embarrass themselves too. Therefore, you might need to just decide to let it all slide, and enjoy your evening. If he makes a scene, laugh it off. People will understand.
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