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June 2013 Weddings
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Advice Please!!

KAWalker11KAWalker11 member
Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments
in June 2013 Weddings
I'm super frustrated with my family.  My wedding is planned for June 22, 2013.  I find out two days ago that my sister's friends wedding is being hosted the same exact day.  Well, to understand my point fully I'll have to explain to you the whole story.  This friend of my sister's, my brother used to date.  Well now my brother is engaged to another girl, whom he had a child with 1 year ago.  Their wedding is on Oct 27th of this year.  Well, my future SIL has always hated this girl (my sisters friend/my brothers ex) and just within the past 3 weeks they've become good friends.   (WEIRD) So- my SIL comes up to me and says that I NEED too change the date of my wedding because supposidly my sister & my SIL are in this girls wedding! WHAT?!  Seriously! My mother, of all people also is trying to tell me that I need to change my date! HELP! I'm so irritated.  I am not changing my date for any reason.  My FI and I chose the date for a reason! So apparently, my sister & her family along with my brother & his family are not attending my wedding, their attending the other.  HOW RUDE! I'm so furious about all of it and cannot believe that my family would do something like this to me! 
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Re: Advice Please!!

  • Sjmiller418Sjmiller418
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Aww I'm so sorry to hear that :( everytime I hear about someone saying getting married next year from my friends and family in my head I'm always like they better not pick anywhere near June 22.

    I would say try to talk to your family about what's going on and understand why they are saying this. Who picked and notified people of this date first? Does one of you have venue and things already booked that you cannot change?
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  • KplusAKplusA
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Do you have your venue/vendors booked yet?  If you do it might be really hard to get out of those contracts without losing money, so you'll have to keep the date.  If your family knows that then they shouldn't give you a hard time!  Maybe they think that since they are so close to you they can tell you to change your date to better fit their schedules.  I think if you really stand your ground and keep your date then they'll choose to come to your wedding instead of hers.  Good luck!
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  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree with PPs. Do you have money put down yet? If not, a lot of brides on this board have had to change dates for one reason or another- the date you choose will be special to you no matter what, I promise. I would be upset that both your SIL and sister chose to be in a friends wedding over family, if that is where their priorities lie than maybe it doesnt matter or not if you change your date. Good luck and let us know what happens.
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  • anastassiiatanastassiiat
    500 Comments First Anniversary

    This must be so frustrating! But I agree with what the PPs said, as long as you don't have anything booked yet it might be easier just to change the date to avoid all of the drama. It sucks that your family is not on your side though, I'm sorry about that!

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  • ashlidieashlidie member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Hmmm... this is a toughie.  I would say first of all, I really hope you had checked with those important people in your life other than your fiance when picking the date.  For example, if your sister is in college you wouldn't pick a May 11 or whatever wedding because it will likely be smack dab in the middle of finals and yes, schools make kids take finals on saturdays and they can deny you the ability to "take it early" because I have been denied a request to do so.  ANYHOO, clearly doing this hypothetical scenario to your sister is a bit unfair if you want her to be apart of your big day.  SO I think if you had made the date selection without clearing the date with your family (meaning the other girl had her date already and had already asked wedding party, they would know these things and would have told you).  By the same token, you should have considered their obligations before you chose the date whenever that was just as you are now expecting them to respect your wishes.  There are things you don't know about that could be serious conflicts for those around you

    We actually moved our ideal date (no deposits) because it is the weekend of his fathers annual fishing tournament.  By leaving it just once, he would lose his spot on the boat for years to come and it was very difficult for him to get there.  So it was the day we met, so it meant a lot to us, but his father meant more and we know how important it was to him.

    NOW if you had talked to your important family members and there were no issues (not yet other girls bridesmaids), THEN I believe you have every right to be upset.  You could not have prepared for this other girl to pick that day but assuming you already have your deposit down, well I guess they have no choice but to pick sides I guess.  If you havent made the deposit, I think you should consider the pros and cons of sticking to your guns.  I don't knwo the reason you chose this date, but is that reason more important than the stress this might soon cause you?  Only you can make that call since it could go either way depending upon why you chose that date.
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  • Mac627Mac627 member
    10 Comments
    Well-said, ashlidie.  I agree with her advice completely!  Good luck!
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