How did you ask?

coachgurl050705 · March 2010

We still have a little over a year until our wedding, and I do NOT plan on asking anytime soon! We have been engaged for a little over a year and am so glad I haven't asked anyone yet because there are 2 people that I would has asked and would have now been regretting it. But, I have a feeling that the close knit group of girls that I talk to at least 2-3 times a week already have a hunch that they are going to be asked to help celebrate our special day with us by being part of our bridal party.

Even though they have a hunch I still want to have a special way to ask them so that it is not only a memory for me but for them as well (maybe I am just crazy lol)! How did you guys ask your attendants to be a part of your special day?

Licia&Wayne · March 2010

Well, I just asked. And then when they said yes, I made them each a card telling them how much I loved them and how happy I was they would be by my side while I am getting married. But I like crafty stuff like that.

suz62984 · March 2010

I did it in person and individually. I said "will you be a bridesmaid"

Ok so that isn't what you are looking for... What about writing each one a letter so that if they want to hold on to it they can. Just explain in the letter how much they mean to you, etc.

CTGirl30 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_did-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0d40a0c6-3ae8-4db4-8a09-faea1b09b88aPost:5b801d58-0a73-46de-8c94-f471e90f4adf">How did you ask?</a>:
[QUOTE] Even though they have a hunch I still want to have a special way to ask them so that it is not only a memory for me but for them as well (maybe I am just crazy lol)! How did you guys ask your attendants to be a part of your special day?
Posted by coachgurl050705[/QUOTE]

Rest assured that no matter how you do ask, it will definately be a memory for them as well. The honor is in the asking - not so much how one is asked. (So with that said, you don't need to go crazy coming up with anything super crafty or time consuming, etc). I remember every single time I have been asked to be in someone's wedding / where I was and how they asked.

I asked each of my 4 BMs privately - 3 of them over dinner and one over the telephone.

jagore08 · March 2010

I called and said, yo, the wedding is on such and such date, you in?

banana468 · March 2010

I also just asked. But I asked in a heartfelt way if that makes any sense.

Just like a proposal doesn't need to be elaborate -it just needs to be heartfelt, the same goes here.

jennylove810 · March 2010

I got a little carried away lol. I bought some very pretty note cards and wrote each girl a heartfelt little note, and asked them to stand with me on my wedding day as a bridesmaid. I gave them the cards at our engagement party, along with a rose.

lalap69 · March 2010

Although I like the idea of cards, I want to be able to see my friends faces when I ask. When I asked my sister, I just said "I love you - will you be my maid of honour?" It was enough.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

I called them since I had recently moved across the country from all of them.

I think it's a sign if you can't come up with a clever way on your own. It probably means you should just ask them rather than come up with some sort of "special" way because if you need others to tell you how to do it, it just isn't as genuine as something you might come up with yourself, you know? Remember that to them the honor is in being asked, not in how they are asked, and not everything related to the wedding needs to be a production. I mean if you normally do a big "to do" for birthdays or other events, great, but if not I would just ask. I have never received a card/cookie/poem and have never felt shafted for it. Plus asking over the phone or in person means you get to experience their reactions, while sending something means that you don't.

Arther007 · March 2010

I think a heartfelt asking is all that is needed.

trix1223 · March 2010

The honor and memory is in BEING asked, not in HOW you're asked.

In the coming months, wedding magazines, websites, and tv shows will try to convince you that EVERYTHING about your wedding must be clever, unique, memorable, creative, imaginative, and one-of-a-kind. You'll be manipulated into believing that everything must be some kind of production.

It's just not so. Will your friends be more excited about or remember more when you asked them to be member of the WP if you give them a dress shaped cookie or a trinket than they will if you call them and ask? Or show up at their door and ask?

Start now to remind yourself not to get sucked into wedding foolishness, GL

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

I just asked. MOH and I asked each other via text message (I asked her to be in the wedding via text when she asked me to be in hers, then asked her to be MOH in person), it sort of came up in conversation with two of my BMs when we were talking wedding stuff, and I didn't even ask my two sisters, because our family is the sort where sister = bridesmaid. Actually, all of them kind of understood that they were automatically bridesmaids, I was more confirming that than asking. I didn't even think to make a big deal about it.

stina93446 · March 2010

I called them and said "You know you're a bm, right?"

leeshab1982 · March 2010

I made cards for each girl and invited them all over for dinner one night. We are all close friends, so that wasn't too out of the ordinary. I gave them each their card after dinner and we spent a little time sitting around talking about all the fun stuff to come. It wasn't anything too special, but it was fun and I'll always remember it!

UnderAtree · March 2010

I bought a picture frame that held 4 photos and in them I put 2 pics of me and the girl I was asking, then 1 picture of me with all the girls I was asking (we are a group of friends), and in the last spot I printed out a picture that just had a border around it and hand wrote Dear So&So, will you be my MOH/BM? Wrapped them up and gave them to 'em.

BluValkyrie · March 2010

Two fo them I called and asked them. The other one I asked in person, when my FI and I ran into her and her FI in the gorcery store, which was when she asked me to be one of her BMs too.

Why did I call two instead of asking them in person? Simple, distance. My MOH and other BM live 3,000 miles away from me, it ws easier to call.

jroseber · March 2010

I haven't asked yet, but I want to take them to a local cafe where we can just hang out. I'll ask them there

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