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Problems with a problem best man

huntgrid10huntgrid10 member
First Comment
in Ohio-Northeast
My Fiance asked his cousin whom he is closer to, to be his best man a while ago. Lately, the best man to be can not seem to keep himself out of jail. Not to mention he is constantly making promises to help us with things and then never showing up! My fiance and I are both fed up with him and don't feel we can trust him to take on any duties. Now we are left with the task of telling a relative that he can not be the best man AND we have to find another, I guess. Anyone out there have to deal with an impossiable person in their wedding party or axed a wedding party person?
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Re: Problems with a problem best man

  • JMH77JMH77
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just curious- what "duties" does he have as best man besides renting a tux and showing up that day?  I personally don't think you should kick someone out of the WP- just think of the long term effect that will have on your FI's relationship with his cousin... not to mention it will probably cause some problems in his family I would imagine.  I would have FI have a serious conversation with him first, and keep in mind, your wedding plans are probably not top on his list of things to worry about.  It sounds to me like his cousin is going through something and maybe just needs some help getting through a rough period in his life.
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  • JKohioJKohio member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto, all he has to do is show up in a tux on the big day. If there's some concern about him showing up that day (is your wedding date still in June 2010?), deal with it a few months before the wedding (have someone else in mind you could ask as backup, but see how things go -- BTW, guys don't get hung up about being in wedding parties like gals often do). Guys don't have to even get measured for their tuxes until at least 3 months before the wedding. BTW, the bridesmaids don't have to do anything aside from show up on the wedding day in their dresses as well. Anything they do for you beyond that is Bonus.
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  • huntgrid10huntgrid10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding/reception is totaly a laid back thing. The "duties" we really need him to take care of is taking the tuxes back after (while we are on the honeymoon) and making sure all is cleaned up at our club. Responsibility is my fi big concern, and that is where his big down fall is. The last time he was in Jail it was b/c his uncle, invloving the bm taking the uncles boat out w/o permission. Its things like this, I beleive that concern him. The bm really is acting more like a frat boy's age at the moment.
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  • LaBelleFemmeLaBelleFemme
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, my MOH wants to leave our wedding at some point to take her 18 month old out trick or treating. I haven't figured out how to talk to her about it just yet. Yeah, found out about a week ago and we have 3 weeks until we get married. You have time. I would ask him as a concerned friend about what is going on. A lot of people can return the tuxes, maybe he will step up or maybe he won't, but give him a chance by talking with him first. Good luck!
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  • JKohioJKohio member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    LaBelle, trick or treating takes, what, 1 hour? If she'll be part of the wedding for the rest of the day and only wants an hour to make her kid happy, I don't see the problem. Halloween is important to kids that age, and, I think, to parents of those kids.Huntgrid, returning the tuxes isn't a huge deal. Any of the groomsmen can do that, really. In fact, each guy can return his own tux if none of them want to be the guy who collects/returns ALL of them. The tux place doesn't care, as long as they get their tuxes back. LOL. As for cleaning up, why not get the whole bridal party involved, if you need people?
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