What to do.

kellygrochmal · October 2009

Ok so this may sound like a bit of a weird question. Is there a way to avoid having to go around to each table to see people other than a receiving line? FH and I REALLY want to be able to dance and have a good time and I hear from SO many couples that you end up spenfing 80% of the reception going around to each table. Does anyone have an alternative to this? Would not going around to the tables be rude?

arbolita · October 2009

You definitely don't spend 80% of the reception going around to tables because pretty much once dinner is over, most of your guests won't still be sitting there. If you have a DOC or a coordinator at the venue, have someone make sure you have alittle time to eat, and spend most of the dinner hour greeting your guests. If you're not having a receiving line or going around to tables, then as a guest I'd find that very rude.

tracy_k · October 2009

Probably too late to help you, but we've solved that problem by not having tables, LOL. We're having a stations reception, cocktail-style... lots of food, enough for a full meal, but no assigned tables. There will only be seating for about half the guests at any given time. Folks are meant to mingle and eat and drink and chat, and we'll greet all our guests during that time.

blondeintgeragrl · October 2009

Maybe allow some time during the cocktail hour to mingle and say Hi?

kellygrochmal · October 2009

yeah thats what i figured. well thats good to know that what i've been hearing isnt correct. Cocktail hour is a good idea too.

fitzhughh · October 2009

If you like dancing a apron dance would work so that you can have fun and get some one on one time with them. However, everyone is not going to be able to dance with you.... I would just make it a point to go around to each table. It should not take that long.

SarahKate31 · October 2009

We made sure that DH and I were served dinner first, so that when we finished, we went around and talked to the guests at their tables while they were still eating. It didn't cut into dancing time. You do need to make sure that you spend only a few minutes at each table so that you will be able to get to all tables.But in answer to your question, yes I think that you should greet all of your guests in one way or another (at tables or in a receiving line). Honestly, your comment sounds a little like "I don't want to waste my time talking to you when I could be dancing". As a guest I'd think "then why did you invite me?" Not trying to be snarky, that's just how it comes off IMO.

Googs79 · October 2009

I think it's about finding a balance. So many of FI and my friends and family are from out-of-town so this is our chance to see them, so I wouldn't want to be dancing all night and miss anyone. On the other hand, I get that you don't want to miss the fun of dancing while you do some tedious greetings. I'd say have a limit of five minutes on average per table. If you have 6 tables, that's a half an hour. If you have 12, that's an hour. The rest will be for everything else! But certainly it's not 80% of the reception. That would be ridiculous.

Rvnsgrl81 · October 2009

We were concerned about this as well since we are having almost 200 people at our reception. We weren't sure about the receivng line given the time frame and such and we still aren't 100% sure if we will or won't do one, but we added an hour to our reception for the cocktail hour. So we are having five hours total. We should have plenty of time (knock on wood) to do pictures after the ceremony and get to the cocktail hour to mingle with our guests and thank everyone and then have the reception begin. If we missed some people we will go around right after we have eaten to say hi and thank you and then let the partying begin!

kellygrochmal · October 2009

Sarakate, totally didnt mean it to come off that way. probably just nerves, trust me, seeing everyone is very important to me. I was just going off of what many other people had told but its good to know that they are wrong and i'm very glad i asked all of you first

I very much DO want to see everyone, but also want to be able to dance, thats all. we have 20 tables of 10 so i know that its going to take a while. Sorry if i offended anyone.

JVeaux · October 2009

I definately think you should do one or the other. We went around to all the tables, and it definately did not take 80% of our time. We were served dinner first, then we went around to each table, some took longer than other depending on who was at the table, but saying Hi to everyone, thanking them, and giving out some hugs was the minimum. By the time we got to the 12th table the dj was just starting to play the dance songs, people started dancing and we were able to join them after a song or two.

arbolita · October 2009

Kelly - one piece of advice I heard was when you are going around to the tables, start at the back, since those are the people who you probably are not as close with, and more likely to leave earlier/people you won't be hanging out with later in the reception. And no matter what you do, you're not going to get to see everybody, There were two couples that we didn't see at all because they were at two tables to we didn't get to before we had to start the parent dances, and they left as soon as they were over.

SarahKate31 · October 2009

Kelly, don't worry! You'll be able to make it around to everyone and still have plenty of partying time. Like pps have said, try to overlap it with dinner or cocktail hour (or both). Maybe the people who said you'd spend 80% of your time at tables had tons of very chatty guests? Hopefully most people will understand that you have time for a quick few words and then you'll see them all on the dance floor.

kellygrochmal · October 2009

sweet! thanks ladies. this actually helps a lot. Sorry I've just been stressing a lot. we've been handling a lot of things very last minute after our photographer passed away, and I hadn't had time to think about all this until now.

smange10.10 · October 2009

This was a big deal to us. We've ultimately decided to spend a portion of cocktail hour with the wedding party gathering ourselves and bustling my dress and then we're going out with the rest of the population to mingle and talk to as many people as possible. This way - we do get a chance to eat something and greet everyone. Believe me - this was not my first choice - I wanted a huge grand entrance - but I realized that it's just not possible to talk to everything and thank them for coming and still dance the night away. I think this was the best compromise. I'll let you know how it goes.

conchgirl · October 2009

my cousins had 300+ people at their wedding and had a sort of "informal recieving line" they basically stood at the entrance together and hugged/said hello/shook hands with everyone who walked past. it didnt seem as though it took anytime away from anything else as they were waiting for guests to exit the church for pictures anyway.

keer38 · October 2009

FI and I are having a fairly large wedding (we're inviting around 265), so this was a concern. We did two things to help give us time with our guests: 1. We're taking pictures before the wedding (I was really against that at first!), and 2. we made our cocktail hour actually 1.5 hours so that we can greet a lot of people then. Arbolita-- great advice about starting at the back!

bethybeach · October 2009

You should do the rounds and if you can pull it off have a longer reception, I think getting served first so you can go around while everyone is finishing dinner is the best way to go. And def. visit the people you don't see as often or people you know won't come up and dance. that way you have seen everyone.

KellyColleen06 · October 2009

We didn't do this idea, but I think it's great. Have your photog come with you to each table. He/she can keep time as well as snap a picture of you with the table. Your guests will love that.Like pp said, we got served dinner first and and made it around to all of the tables. We cut it a bit close, but our planner helped move us along. Then two tables were competing on who could give us the most applause so we hopping back and forth and then picked a winning table.

dclokey · October 2009

I just went to a wedding and the bride and groom left the ceremony and then came back and dismissed each row of seats. They hugged and kissed each guest row by row.

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