Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

far away friend

calynn3calynn3
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I have a dear friend that lives on the opposite side of the country. I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid because I know it is too difficult for her to do it but I want her to know how important she is to me by including her in some other way. What are some ways that I can include her? Keep in mind we are not having a Catholic wedding and there are no candles.
Report Reply to Post

Re: far away friend

  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    If she plans on attending your wedding anyhow, I think it's still perfectable acceptable to have her as a bridesmaid as there is really no other requirement except order a dress and show up.

    You just have to understand that she won't attend the pre-wedding activities and not hold it against her and think she is a bad bridesmaid.
     
    btw, she can still order a dress from far away. It happens all the time.
    Report Reply
  • calynn3calynn3
    First Comment
    I did discuss it with her before I got engaged. I should also mention she is pregnant and will be a new mommy on my wedding day. There must be something she can do that isn't lame.
    Report Reply
  • vanityinkvanityink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Is she giving birth *on* your wedding day? If so, she won't be there, yes? If she's going to be there, there's no reason for her not to be asked to be a bridesmaid. Or a reader, if you prefer. Other than that...
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_far-away-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3c45fad4-b036-481f-be42-e9e37e91def8Post:66a39a99-9d04-49d8-a3af-cd2ce5f29277">Re:far away friend</a>:
    [QUOTE] There must be something she can do that isn't lame.
    Posted by calynn3[/QUOTE]

    <div>Like PPs said, Other than bridesmaid or reader, there really isn't. I think you should ask her to be a bridesmaid. </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • calynn3calynn3
    First Comment
    What I mean is, she is having a baby, therefore she has to buy diapers and food and all that. Plus she has to pay for 2 plane tickets from Arizona to Minnesota. She can't afford to buy a bridesmaids dress too and I can't afford to buy it for her. And as I said we have discussed why she can't be a bridesmaid.
    Report Reply
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_far-away-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3c45fad4-b036-481f-be42-e9e37e91def8Post:0d6f5bd7-b722-4771-8eb0-363204b8fd5f">Re:far away friend</a>:
    [QUOTE]What I mean is, she is having a baby, therefore she has to buy diapers and food and all that. Plus she has to pay for 2 plane tickets from Arizona to Minnesota. She can't afford to buy a bridesmaids dress too and I can't afford to buy it for her. And as I said we have discussed why she can't be a bridesmaid.
    Posted by calynn3[/QUOTE]
    You asked and she told you she can't be a bridesmaid?
    I mean, if her only reason is that she can't afford the dress, help her find a cheap dress or let her wear one she already owns.
    You could help her find a dress super cheap and on sale with coupons at a department store or something.

    If her other reasons are she'll have a newborn, then I'm not sure what else she can do that won't be just as time consuming.

    Maybe you can get her a corsage and take tons of pics with her? Ask her to do a reading? Or just invite her as a guest and make sure she has fun.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Tami87Tami87 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I agree with the other posters that it is not big deal to have a bridesmaid that lives far away. None of my bridesmaids lived in the same state as me and all of them had to travel for the wedding. It worked out fine.

    However, if you have both already agreed that she does not wish to be a bridesmaid than the other positions of honor would be a reader. With a Catholic wedding you can typically have 3 readers. One for old testament reading, one for new testament reading, and one to read the prayers of the faithful. Readers do not have to be Catholic but should believe in what they are reading. If you are having a full mass and your friend is also Catholic, the other option is to have her bring up the gifts for communion. Any other job is not really an honor.

    As pervious posters also mentioned, guest is also an honor and maybe you can invite her to drop in where ever you are getting ready before the ceremony.
    image
    Report Reply
  • QueenOfTheSeaQueenOfTheSea
    First Comment
    I have a cousin that I wanted to be "involved," but we aren't close enough for her to be a bridesmaid.  I decided to ask her to be my personal attendant, even though I don't really need one.  I know in some cases this is just a chore job because if the bride is a bridezilla, this is a stressful job, but for me, my personal attendant is just going to hang out with the BM while we get ready and just help us if we need little things, ie an extra hand zipping dresses, clasping jewelry and shoes, etc.  Like I said I don't really need one, and we could definitely get along without her, but this way she is involved and what-not, and she is very excited and has told my grandma that she feels honored to be the personal attendant and involved in our big day!  So, as long as you don't abuse it or use her as a slave, a personal attendant can be an honorable job! :)
    Report Reply
  • QueenOfTheSeaQueenOfTheSea
    First Comment
    You can't say that NOONE would like to be a personal attendant, some people thrive on helping others and doing things for others. My sister was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding but declined explaining that it was too uncomfortable for her considering the friend was marrying my sister's ex, the friend understood and asked her to be the personal attendant, my sister accepted and loved every minute of it; she likes to do those kinds of "jobs" for her friends, and although it was a "chore job," she WAS honored to do it. So you can't say with 100% accuracy that no one would like that job or not want it or not be honored to do it, because some people love those kinds of jobs and would rather be involved in those small behind the scenes ways that to stand up in front of a lot of people.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards