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FI doesn't want a best man

LindsayP101LindsayP101 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
Hi ladies,

My FI insists that he doesn't want a best man...or any groomsmen for that matter. I am having 3 bridesmaids...we both don't care about the sides being uneven...but him not wanting anyone at all?? What is your opinion...is this something I should just let go or should I push harder to get him to choose someone to stand up for him?
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Re: FI doesn't want a best man

  • bellinibellinibellinibellini newb
    10 Comments
    Is he naturally a very independent person?  Or does he maybe feel like there isn't anyone he's close enough with to ask, and he's covering up being embarrassed/self-conscious/sad that he doesn't have anyone to ask?

     If it's the second, pushing probably wouldn't help.  Maybe gently suggest that he could always ask his father to stand up with him, if his father is still able?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Let it go.  It is his choice and his alone.  Pushing him to do something he doesn't want is not a good idea.

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  • bellinibellinibellinibellini newb
    10 Comments
    Oh and ditto Maggie.  Even if he's choosing to not have a best man out of independence, and not a more emotional reason, it's only going to go badly if you push.  But open-ended questions like "is there a particular reason why you don't want to have any groomsmen?" might help you understand him a little more--as long as, after he gives an answer, you let the matter drop.
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  • LindsayP101LindsayP101 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks for the advice! Yes, he is very independent - he has a few close friends who are invited to the wedding, but says that he just doesn't want a best man because it's not important to him like it's important to me to have my girls as bridesmaids.

    The most important part is that he wants me standing there with him!! :)
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  • bellinibellinibellinibellini newb
    10 Comments
    Ha, that's what matters! :)  No groomsmen might be a small advantage in wedding planning--fewer people to coordinate with and fewer things to pay for.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    It's important that the groom has a say in the wedding too. If this is important to him, then by all means let him have his way. Brides sometimes forget that it's not just their day, and that not all the decisions belong to them. I know I occassionally did, despite the best intentions.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-doesnt-want-a-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:92cd3035-72c8-4e25-ae8d-b096d43b6910Post:caf17393-36d4-40ff-9230-422d8ff424a0">Re: FI doesn't want a best man</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand what our opinions would have to do with anything.  HE doesn't want them, HE is getting married too, HIS decision.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I don't know why you would wonder if you should "push" him on the issue. </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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