So in love not engaged yet

StarlaandMelvin14 · March 2013

Me and my guy have been together for two and a half almost three years .We are very much in love and he is my best friend. We have discussed geting married and had almost every detail planned out.He even sent me pictures of rings that he thought that I may like. There is no question that I want to spend my life with him and I know he feels the same way.But he hasnt talked about it recently since we got back together.I dont know how to bring upo the subject again without it seeming like I am pressuring him. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

rahrah82 · March 2013

Hi and welcome. I'm a little confused by your post. You stated that you two have been together for almost three years, but you recently got back together. How long was the break up and how recent did you two get back together? If it has only been a couple of weeks or months, then it will definitely seem like you are pressuring him. And depending on why you two broke up in the first place, have the two of you straighten things out enough to be considering marriage again so soon after getting back together? I'm just looking to get some clarification so we can help!

StarlaandMelvin14 · March 2013

Well it technically wasnt a break up just a period of seperation because of his job. Yes everything is squared away . There was nothing that caused the seperation just job related issues.He has stated that there is nothing wrong with me thinking of the day we tie the knot lol. He even call me his wifey.So thats why I want to know how to ask the big question of when.

suzie211 · March 2013

Congrats on finding someone you want to spend forever with. That's great. But only you know your relationship with your SO. A room full of internet strangers shouldn't be telling you when to have big conversations like these. That's something you need to do.

It sounds like you two have talked about the basics, but still have some pieces to work out due to the time seperation. If you want to spend forever with this person you shold be able to have a conversation about your future with him. So talk to him and have an honest conversation about where things are.

Good luck.

StarlaandMelvin14 · March 2013

Thanks suzie211. I totally agree with you.I just thought that I ask for a little advice .But as you stated only I know my relationship..Thanks for the advice and I will definitely talk it over with him.

peekaboo2011 · March 2013

Honestly, if you can't sit down and have an open and honest conversation with him about the timeline that works for you, you aren't ready to get married.

So, my advice would be to stop planning a wedding when you aren't engaged, have an honest conversation with him, and then enjoy your relationship where it is right now.

bethsmiles · March 2013

The PPs have given you some really good advice.

I especially agree with Peek. If you can't have a simple conversation with your SO about your future together then you definitely aren't ready for marriage.

peekaboo2011 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:6a21e648-4513-41e5-a482-f030be4f29e9">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So in love not engaged yet : Pee k you took the words outta my mouth.
Posted by tarradesign[/QUOTE]

<div>I've been stockpiling my wisdom and letting the snark run loose lately. I figured it was time to switch it up. See, I CAN be nice.</div>

ravenray · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:08eb1fa6-66e2-4e8b-a37e-b7e6eaa781bf">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So in love not engaged yet : One - PLEASE use that space bar correctly. Two - you DO have control over your relationship. My H called me wifey when we were dating and I made this face: then I had an adult discussion of our timeline and for me, that meant not calling me wife/wifey/spouse until we were married.
Posted by tarradesign[/QUOTE]
Tarra- your gifs are awesome!

beanbot2002 · March 2013

I can't think of anything nice to say, and Peek covered the sage advice area, so I'm just gonna say that I love Jennifer Lawrence.

peekaboo2011 · March 2013

OMG THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I

you T.

StarlaandMelvin14 · March 2013

Ok this has gone too far.I am not going to let yall bash me or my loving relationship ok. This is the last time I ask for advice .Its like yall completely misinterpreted what I said.When I said he hasnt mentioned it.I meant that as we havent talked about a date duh.He has said Feb 14th and I agreed ,but we havent set that day in stone. Thats why I said I didnt want to pressure him on deciding a date and being like most women.We have a great and solid reltionship to where we can talk about anything with no problem. I without question know his love for me. Was all the negative comments necessary? I just want to ease into the conversation without ouright saying "So when are we getting married ?" Thanks Suzie211 for your advice I appreciate it .

Swazzle · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:0d8f65ab-aa10-42c7-a400-f698565c5415">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok this has gone too far.I am not going to let yall bash me or my loving relationship ok. This is the last time I ask for advice .Its like yall completely misinterpreted what I said.<strong>When I said he hasnt mentioned it.I meant that as we havent talked about a date duh.He has said Feb 14th and I agreed ,but we havent set that day in stone. Thats why I said I didnt want to pressure him on deciding a date and being like most women.We have a great and solid reltionship to where we can talk about anything with no problem. I without question know his love for me. Was all the negative comments necessary? I just want to ease into the conversation without ouright saying "So when are we getting married ?" Thanks Suzie211 for your advice I appreciate it .</strong>
Posted by StarlaandMelvin14[/QUOTE]

<div>None of this matters. </div><div>
</div><div>If you're not engaged, you shouldn't be planning a wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>If you can't discuss getting married and your future with your SO, then you shouldn't be getting engaged. </div>

peekaboo2011 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:0d8f65ab-aa10-42c7-a400-f698565c5415">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok this has gone too far.I am not going to let yall bash me or my loving relationship ok. This is the last time I ask for advice .Its like yall completely misinterpreted what I said.When I said he hasnt mentioned it.I meant that as we havent talked about a date duh.He has said Feb 14th and I agreed ,but we havent set that day in stone. Thats why I said I didnt want to pressure him on deciding a date and being like most women.We have a great and solid reltionship to where we can talk about anything with no problem. I without question know his love for me. Was all the negative comments necessary? I just want to ease into the conversation without ouright saying "So when are we getting married ?" Thanks Suzie211 for your advice I appreciate it .
Posted by StarlaandMelvin14[/QUOTE]

<div>...........I think you completely missed the point. Also, English class?</div><div>
</div><div><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3bqiqpV2A1rnd6r3.gif" alt="" width="500" height="281" /></div>

jemmini6 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:0d8f65ab-aa10-42c7-a400-f698565c5415">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok this has gone too far.I am not going to let yall bash me or my loving relationship ok. This is the last time I ask for advice .Its like yall completely misinterpreted what I said.<strong>When I said he hasnt mentioned it.I meant that as we havent talked about a date duh.He has said Feb 14th and I agreed ,but we havent set that day in stone.</strong> Thats why I said I didnt want to pressure him on deciding a date and being like most women.We have a great and solid reltionship to where we can talk about anything with no problem. I without question know his love for me. Was all the negative comments necessary? I just want to ease into the conversation without ouright saying "So when are we getting married ?" Thanks Suzie211 for your advice I appreciate it .
Posted by StarlaandMelvin14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Step 1: Get engaged.</div><div>Step 2: Set a date & plan a wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>If you aren't enagaged yet, you are putting the cart before the horse with talk of wedding dates. Like PPs suggested, the best way to move your relationship forward is to talk to your BF about marriage. If your relationship is solid, like you said, then that should be the easy part.</div><div>
</div>

thejucheidea · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_so-in-love-not-engaged-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f7c8323f-b309-4ad7-b41e-d0c7ae6bd731Post:0d8f65ab-aa10-42c7-a400-f698565c5415">Re: So in love not engaged yet</a>:
[QUOTE]He has said <strong>Feb 14th</strong> and I agreed ,but we havent set that day in stone.
Posted by StarlaandMelvin14[/QUOTE]
Ugh, yeah, that's not totally trite at all.

So in love not engaged yet

Re: So in love not engaged yet

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