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Weird/This has bothered me for awhile

My sister visited last week and we were talking. She reminded me of something that happened the week of my wedding and I had forgotten! (The week of my wedding was the last time we were together and that's why we were talking about it).What do you make of this situation? I was going to get my nails done for the wedding and was dressed normally (jeans/sweatshirt/sunglasses). I was in the backseat of my mom's car, my mom and sister were in the front.  We pulled up to an intersection and there was a man there with a cup for change. He may have had a sign; I don't remember.I normally don't give to people begging on the street because of the risk of opening your purse and losing your money, being carjacked, etc. (We give to charities instead). But I was with other people for safety and felt badly...I was spending money on a manicure, couldn't I give this guy a few bucks? Plus it was bitterly cold for him to be begging outside.So I took $3-4 bucks out of my purse, wound down the window, and the man came over. I handed him the money. He said "Thank you." Then all of a sudden, he shoves the money back in the car at me and said "No, can't take it. I can't take this because you have red on your sunglasses." He pointed to my red sunglasses and walked away.What in the world does that mean? Any ideas? This incident has made me wonder since it happened. We drove away when the light changed, so I didn't give him any money after all. I felt so disrespected...rejected by a homeless person for trying to donate.  Could the color have meant something with gangs, do you think?Weird.

Re: Weird/This has bothered me for awhile

  • edited December 2011
    I would think it was more likely that he has some sort of mental disability/chemical imbalance and has a bad association with all things red.  Maybe like a compulsive disorder where he can't look at/eat/touch, etc anything that's red.  There is documentation of metal disabilities being high among the homeless population.But who knows?  It would totally make me wonder too.
  • edited December 2011
    No clue, but interesting point Colleen. That is pretty crazy!
  • d78d78
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto, Colleen!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I was going to say the same thing. Many homeless people have mental health problems, so I would guess it had something to do with that. He might believe red = evil.
  • edited December 2011
    Wow, I never thought about it being a mental illness. Good point.He said it perfectly lucidly, so I didn't even associate it with mental illness. I even Googled it to see if this has happened to anyone else.I think I just said "Umm, okay" and rolled up the window; I should have taken the glasses off, maybe? I've seen him by Gabe's in Monroeville too, by Kohl's. Anyone know the man I am talking about? He's been begging out there for a year or two now.
  • snorgesnorge member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, this just screams "mental illness" to me. Definitely don't take it personally, or hold it against him either.
  • hey_its_jennhey_its_jenn member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've seen an old homeless guy by the Kohl's in Monroeville. His pockets are always full of something and he wears Nikes.  I kind of want to do a social experiment to see if I wear certain things and try and give him money to see what happens. I think I found my weekend plans!


    Married 9/19/09
    Me: 27 // DH: 31
    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)

    October 2012: DH Dx: Testicular Cancer -- Left Orchiectomy
    December 2012: F/U CT Scan -- All clean!
    January 2013: Starting the adoption process!

  • LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed, definitely a mental illness issue.  Don't feel bad about it at all!
    7.17.10

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  • edited December 2011
    I am going to tell my mom and my sister that I think it is a mental illness. We have all been curious.I thought of gangs because of the associations with the color red and the color blue and some of my former students. I shouldn't say I feel bad or feel disrespected, poor choice of words on my part. I was just very surprised and shocked. When I've given to other people (down here, we have a huge problem with homeless people everywhere, very aggressive), they've never said anything about colors, so I am going to agree it is probably mental illness.Very sad. I know it is getting cold again up there; I hope someone can help this guy out.
  • PensChick20PensChick20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it sounds like a mental illness for sure. He might just have some delusions about the color red or something someone was wearing who hurt him or abandoned him while wearing red. And hey_its_jenn-I know you were just kidding, but that's not cool to say at all like you are gonna go have "fun" and experiment with someone who potentially is homeless and may have a serious mental illness. I just get offended by those statements, I'm sorry. My mom is a psych nurse and I grew up learning to treat those with mental illness as human beings. It makes me sad when I am at work (I work at a local mental hospital) and I see these people and what they go through. The stigma against those with mental illness is very widespread and is still a big problem which is why some people, maybe that homeless guy Kwynn was pointing out, won't get help.
  • hey_its_jennhey_its_jenn member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I never mentioned I was going to have fun. Why would I take humor or pleasure in seeing someone else's misfortune? I honestly meant I wanted to see if there are any different reactions to different clothing, the hypothesis that Kristen is implying. I think it's an interesting concept. I've seen the man before and always wondered what wrong with him.


    Married 9/19/09
    Me: 27 // DH: 31
    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)

    October 2012: DH Dx: Testicular Cancer -- Left Orchiectomy
    December 2012: F/U CT Scan -- All clean!
    January 2013: Starting the adoption process!

  • PensChick20PensChick20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The way you said "I think I have found my weekend plans!" really? Like those are some good plans. I know you say you wouldn't. but the way you said it really bothers me. What I am saying is that you said you kinda always wanted to do a social experiment with someone like that - mmmk..is this appropriate sort of thing to say if someone were to have AIDs, or breast cancer or heart disease? Like let's see what response this person would have if I told them this because of their cancer or told them I could get them a new heart for their heart disease and then told them the opposite and see their response! No, but its "ok" to say if someone you think might be mentally ill. No, still not ok. I totally get you probably won't do this..but the way you said it gets me because having a mental illness is like ANY other illness. the person is sick, lets not mess with their psyche, lets try to help them not see what would happen if we mess with their heads, say things to them or try to get a response out of them.
  • mamboqueenmamboqueen member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Many mentally ill people seem lucid. I knew someone who used to walk out of meetings and go clean whatever he could get his hands on whenever he got nervous while people were waiting for him to come back wondering what happened.
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