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Florida-North Florida
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Keeping your last name

GatorDGatorD
10 Comments
in Florida-North Florida
I've been thinking about keeping my last name professionally but going by his name socially. I've started my career and been introduced to the small legal community here with this last name, so I think it might be nice to keep it. Also, since FI and I have the same job at the same office (different divisions and judges though), I don't want to be automatically coupled by clients and new people. Here's my question- do you think it would be better/easier to legally change my name to his and just keep using my name or vice versa? I am thinking the latter, but welcome advice!
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Re: Keeping your last name

  • katiek200katiek200 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow thats hard. I am taking FI's name but I won't have my degree until next summer. Is your FI okay either way? I would probably keep your name and then just go by "Mrs. FI" and not worry about correcting people.
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  • KornKittenBrideKornKittenBride
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It would be easier to go by your last name professionally  and his last name socially.
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  • GatorDGatorD
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    FI is fine either way so long as I go by Mrs. FI socially.
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  • jodipplsjodippls member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would keep your last name and go by his socially.
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  • clseale13clseale13 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think I'm keeping mine...but's it's really for more of an emotional reason. I say keep yours and go by his socially.
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  • NYHarleyBrideNYHarleyBride
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm thinking it is easier to change your name legally to his and keep yours professionally, but there is no one answer. Everyone is different. Having gone through this, and not changing my name legally, but only socially, it became a nightmare 17 years later (since I had never legally changed it), and I finally (7 years after we were divorced) changed it legally to his (only to change it now to my DH just married). Cons: 1. If I had never changed it in the first place, I probably would not be changing it now, but it made no sense to go back to my maiden name now that I am married to someone else. 2. After two years of having stuff in two names (when I was first married) I started using his as it was difficult or took more effort (at least back then) whenever we did anything on paper. 3. He used to get called by Mr. Mymaidenname when we went to hotels, traveled, etc, and it was annoying. Pros: Once I had my son, there was no question I wanted the same name as my child and am glad I did it. 2. As I said, for paperwork (mortgages, insurance, house, etc) it definitely was easier to both have the same name. Even little things, like picking up prescriptions are easier when the names match. It probably shouldn't still be that way, but it is.
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  • KappaUCF20KappaUCF20
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    He used to get called by Mr. Mymaidenname when we went to hotels, traveled, etc, and it was annoying.What's wrong with that? (honestly lol).  I didn't change my name and haven't had any issues at all so far.  I don't ever foresee it being a problem either (I know some older women that kept their maiden names and have no regrets).  Gator, if you want to go by your maiden name professionally, then I think you should just keep it.  My reasoning is that your professional work name should probably be whatever your legal name is.  Then people can call you Mrs.hislastname socially if they want. 
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  • NYHarleyBrideNYHarleyBride
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, nothing inherently, other than he did not like it. He used to say, "Tthat's not me, that is your Dad." Again, I was just speaking from my experience.
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  • KappaUCF20KappaUCF20
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No, that's okay.  I wasn't being too serious :).  It's just that issues like this tend to bring out my feminist side lol.
    BFP #1 Sept. 2011 EDD 5.25.12 missed MC on 11.17.11 | BFP #2 4.30.12 11dpo EDD 1.10.13 | Grow, baby, grow!
    01.03.09 {MARRIED BIO}
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  • clseale13clseale13 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Me too Kappa. ;)
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  • duncanpowersduncanpowers member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There are all kinds of things you can do, but don't feel pressured to do one or the other just because of what people normally do or their feelings about the matter. It's your name, your career, and your marriage, so do what you feel comfortable doing.Personally, and at least one other girl on the Nest did this, I added his name to my last name with no hyphen. So, legally I have 2 last names. I can use either or both. Professionally I use my maiden name and have not changed it at work. Socially I sometimes use his, sometimes both.Some people think that's a pain, but I didn't want to choose a new last name based on what was easy. It just didn't feel right to me to change it entirely.
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  • GatorDGatorD
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, ladies! You all always give good advice. I appreciate all the perspectives. I also will add the my last name is 5 letters, 1 syllable, easy to spell and pronouce, and his is just a...well....a cluster. LOL.
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