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THRAWN2521 · October 2009

Well what was your plan? Maybe everyone didn't get the full picture?

amblizman · October 2009

If you made the post that I think you did... when I first read it, I thought you literally meant you HAD a dream... as in, you were sleeping, woke up, had a good laugh, and then rejoined life as we know it.I think what the other girls' bottom line was- there are certain social norms that people expect each other to adhere to. If I see if big silver platter coming my way, there better be a big, fat steak or a lobster under there. You're building expectations that are going to lead to disappointment by serving an 89 cent taco that someone could have gotten in a drive-thru on the way over. If it's a budget issue, even hors d'oeurves and drinks would fare better than the alternative. Since you were planning to shell out for domed platters, however, I'm guessing that it's not the money. In which case, can you get your venue/caterer to create gourmet versions of the foods that you had in mind? Personally, I wouldn't be a happy camper if I sat down to a Big Mac- but a sirloin burger on a fresh baked multigrain roll with vine-ripened tomatoes, arugula, and a side of hand-cut french fried potatoes sounds like a fairly respectable dinner at least by comparison. You could turn Taco Bell into a make-your-own taco bar with different stations of upscale ingredients. I think that gourmet versions could be a pleasant middle ground between giving up your dream and having your guests asking each other WTF. Finally, isn't there anything else about you and your FI that is unique and meaningful? It doesn't have to be about giving up who you are, maybe you can just focus on some other part of that relationship.

DivineWillowMama · October 2009

Ok, I can't answer to this because I have no clue what the ideas were! I do know that I am having a Victorian Gothic inspired wedding and our relatives wouldn't exactly have one like it! I'm pretty much throwing in a compromise of elements that will create an elegant setting, For example, I'm having bridesmaids in red or black carrying dark flowers, deep colored table linens, and white cake with black swirls and black magic roses. My candles will be red and my candle holders will be wrought iron and the arbor is probably going to be too. Although I will be wearing a white gown, I'm adding black lace or black satin ribbon. I got wine bottle labels that say poison and arsenic on them, because I want something to be quirky. I can't ignore my personality, but I am still having a traditional wedding. Our reception will be filled with delicious foods and beverages that everyone will love. There will be a little bit of everything for everyone's delight. Pretty much as long as everything is presented properly then they have no reason to not be impressed. One of my bridesmaids is having a pink and green wedding, which I would never do, but it will be spectacular and well planned out. Pretty much just use your imagination and present it like its in a a showroom. I don't know if this helps, but you certainly can't give up on your own vision, maybe just revise it.

scoetto · October 2009

I have no clue what you are speaking about therefore I can't offer any advice. Ettiquette-wise, yes the reception IS about the guests, however you can easily put your stamp on things. We're all doing it on this board.

chedched · October 2009

As for the decore and your attire goes you can wear and decorate however you want. all that has nothing to do with anyone but yourselves. The food, pp had a good idea of a taco station. ive seen pizzas at weddings. Mac& cheese to it was in these little shot glasses. There are ways to do fast food in a more "wedding" way. That's all ok, guests should be happy with whatever you serve. if you have any guests that don't eat meat you should include a veggie option for them tho. you should go to amazon and check out the vitamin string quartet. they do instrumental version of rock and pop songs. I want to walk down the isle to their version of just like heaven. i like your idea of asking guests to rec. a song. you can play theirs and yours. we plan on playing a lot of the cure

hollieheidi · October 2009

check out offbeatbride.com I've noticed that some of the other boards don't quite get the quirkiness that us on the gothic forum seem to have. While the wedding is about you, the reception is a thank you to your guests as you have already been told a million times on the other post....with that said, your guests KNOW you and your FI and they like your quirks or at least understand it somewhat...Great Aunt Martha might not, but she loves you anyway. You can decorate how you want, wear what you want and serve what you want, but remember it's the attitude that "it's all about you" that turns people off. If you want your guests to have a good time you have to put yourself in their shoes and think what they would enjoy and then put your personal spin on it... I personally love the taco bar, gourmet burger bar, gourmet pizza, mac and cheese made with some gourmet cheeses....pasta bars are very cool too...BTW...you're getting married in 4 years....I'm sure you're ideas, friendships, tastes, etc. will change by then...if you feel that it's too overwhelming and takes too much from you and your fiance then have a quiet personal ceremony, pick a pub or restaurant that you like and buy your friends and family dinner and cut out all of the things you don't like. I think you have plenty of time to figure out what means the most to you and don't worry about keeping up with the other knotties.....no one knows you like you do.

Future Mrs Butterworth · October 2009

Can I make one teensy suggestion? What about a red unity candle instead, or maybe one with a black flame, instead of one that bleeds? The day is about you, but you also don't want to completely freak out your guests, and if you have any elderly or children there... that really might put it over the top. [url]http://www.colourflamecandle.com/products/ColourFlameTealightCandles.php[/url] for different colored flames

Witchys_Woman · October 2009

I pretty much agree with what has already been said to you by other posters. Also, could you not just have a differnt meal then everyone else. I gotta tell you that serving mac and cheese at a wedding is something that people are going to talk about and maybe not in a good way. However there are many gormet varieties of mac and cheese and on a cool fall day (assuming you are getting married in the fall) who dosen't love a comforting helping of mac and cheese, especially if it's a little dressed up! As for your music, the Mr and I are also not so big into the radio scene and really enjoy bands that most people have never heard of. However it is about compromise. You want your guests to have a good time and even get up and dance if your reception includes one. We've created a pretty eclectic mix so that everyone can enjoy and have fun. We've also included some songs just to be funny, songs that have become inside jokes to us and our friends. Your attire can be totally up to you. White dresses with black details are becoming more and more common. As are red dresses. That part is definitely all about you. You need to feel comfortable and beautiful. If an unwhite dress gives you that feeling then wear it and love it. As for the bondage suit, the Mr is wearing bondage pants because he loves them and I think he looks hot in them. A formal suit is just weird on him. Best wishes.

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