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Just Engaged and Proposals

Is this tacky?

The location we have picked for our reception has an all inclusive package. When you register for the all inclusive package, they throw you an engagement party free of charge. They decorate the VIP room at their lounge and provide a free buffet and a cash bar for your guests. I know it's considered rude to throw your own engagement party, but is this really throwing it ourselves? I would hate to not take advantage of something being offered for free with the package.
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Re: Is this tacky?

  • I've never heard of anything like that, but I say go for it! If they are offering you that awesome freebie you shouldn't pass it up. Perhaps someone could still "host" it for you and organize the guest list and logistics and all.
  • if you don't mind a few snarky responses mixed in with the helpful ones, try posting this on the planning and etiquette board. that would be the best place to get a quick response from a large number of women! just remember that they can be brutally honest and that cash bars are generally considered in bad taste. they may advise you to request non-alcoholic drinks instead and to have them provided to the guests free of cost. good luck!
  • Ditto Sarah.  I've never heard of anything like this before, so I have no idea what to think of it.  Although I do agree that if you decided to do it, work with your venue to see if you can either have non-alcoholic drinks free of charge or offer to pay a small amount for beer/wine for your guests free of charge.
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  • I can't say that I would turn down a free party, cash bar or not.  What I would probably do is accept but not call it an e-party in front of my guests, I'd just say "hey, FI and I won a free party at the hotel where we're getting married, come if you can.  Oh, btw, it's cash bar but food's free" or whatever.
  • I think if you don't call it an engagement party you're good.  It would be a shame to turn down a free party!  Or see if someone like your parents or FILs or a friend will act as "host" and put their names on the invites, etc.  Also, I'm iffy on the cash bar.  Could you afford to cover beer and wine, or something? 

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  • Maybe you could ask if you could delay it a bit and use the freebie for the rehearsal dinner, or bachelor/bachelorette party?
  • I would definately take advantage of the party. This way you can experience how they will treat you on your day.
  • I would take it! I've never heard of this so I don't know exactly what to think, but i think it's a great idea honestly. Eparties may not be gift giving events in your area.
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  • It's definitely hard to turn down something like that. But I'd see if a relative (either of your parents) could send out the invitations and act as "hosts". Or see how much it would cost to provide beer and wine, or an open bar for just an hour or two.
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  • Just have your mom, sister, or friend "host" it. I would totally take advantage of this!!
  • if it was me then i would so do an engagement party.it's free so why not to take it?and i think its the reception site throwing ur engagement party. not u.
  • You should take advantage definately!! Either have someone else (your parents) act as the host, or tell everyone that you won a free party and to come.  As for cash bars being rude, it depends on your location.  In New England they are pretty much standard.  You could also state that its the location that is throwing the party although that sounds weird, but in reality they are.  Lucky you!!
  • I think you should take it for all the reasons pp's have mentioned, like pp's have said could your/your Fi's parents host?
  • I would deff take advantage of it! and call it whatever you want. Maybe its just where I live but I never knew that it wasn's proper ettiquit to throw your own eparty till i got on this site. But it doesn't matter what you call it or who hosts it its a celebration of you and your FI for free! WHY NOT?!
  • dang, anything I get free I take advantage of! Go for it.
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