This might be awkward buuuut....

soontobehanby · September 2012

I am a virgin.
My fiance is a virgin.
We both waited and are waiting for our honeymoon. It was just a personal preference. Now here is where my question lies...

"Down There Hair"
What do I do?! Ha... I haven't really thought about it until some friends were asking each other about what they did and I was feeling to weird about speaking up and asking questions. So here I go!
1. Wax? Does it hurt? When should I get it done?
2. Shave? Is this better than waxing since it is fairly pain free?
3. Do nothing? I guess some guys prefer it, but I don't want to ask FI since he doesn't really know what he prefers, being a virgin also.
4. Is this way too weird to ask on a wedding board?! Haha I just need help!

acaponi87 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_this-might-be-awkward-buuuut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d50489d4-6d24-4d22-b0a9-861b061636eePost:5d4e7c66-7b93-4e66-98b7-44b190cf4926">This might be awkward buuuut....</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a virgin. My fiance is a virgin. We both waited and are waiting for our honeymoon. It was just a personal preference. Now here is where my question lies... "Down There Hair" What do I do?! Ha... I haven't really thought about it until some friends were asking each other about what they did and I was feeling to weird about speaking up and asking questions. So here I go! 1. Wax? Does it hurt? When should I get it done? 2. Shave? Is this better than waxing since it is fairly pain free? 3. Do nothing? I guess some guys prefer it, but I don't want to ask FI since he doesn't really know what he prefers, being a virgin also. 4. Is this way too weird to ask on a wedding board?! Haha I just need help!
Posted by soontobehanby[/QUOTE]

Just because he hasn't had sex doesn't mean he doesn't know what he prefers. I mean most guys have seen porn. I'd either ask him or really I think you should just do what YOU are comfortable with since it seems like you think he doesn't have a preference/know preference. I'm sure he will have plenty on his mind that night other than what you've done with your pubic hair lol.

NicholePorritt · September 2012

First off, kudos to the two of you for making that choice to wait for each other on your wedding night. My advice, do what makes you feelcomfortable. Not all guys are strictly into waxed lady bits and if you have never shaved before it could cause a lot of irritation. If you want to give shaving a shot (which is much less painful) go ahead and start trying it out now a little bit at a time. If you feel weird or don't dig your parts being hairless, don't do it. You have to be comfortable and feel confident on your wedding night.

Good luck with your planning and have fun on your honeymoon : ) It will be great don't even worry.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

What do YOU want? My husband has an opinion on this, but I've actually never asked him.

I've been waxed a few times, but my skin is so sensitive. I end up super red and still get the razor burn bumps afterwards. There's a short time that it's awesome after everything heals up, which is really nice. I feel like to get the real benefit of waxing, however, I'd have to do it every six weeks for awhile and I'd rather spend my money on other things.

Shaving is easier, but you will get razor burn afterwards (unless you are one of the few who has magic skin). They make a product called "Bikini Zone" (found in a regular drug store shaving section) that you can put on after shaving which minimizes the razor burn.

Personally, I do a combo of shaving and trimming. I do not like hairless or "landing strips." Yick.

itzMS · September 2012

I would just do what you'd normally do down there when you wear a swimsuit. It's not worth trying something "new" and being uncomfortable during your honeymoon.

If you want, given you have 8 months until your wedding, try getting a full brazilian wax at a reputable salon now. See if YOU like it.

Lilshell812 · September 2012

I agree with PPs. Start shaving now (a little bit at a time if you wish) to get a feel for it. There's definitely an art to it! Or try getting waxed - if you don't like it, you never have to do it again! You have plenty of time so it's always best to have a game plan.

Whatever you do, steer clear of creams that get rid of hair (i.e. Nair). Yikes.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

Whichever method you choose, maybe it's not a good idea to have ALL the hair removed. My FI says he want to know he's with a woman, not a girl.

MoonlightSilver · September 2012

Do whatever you'll be most comfortable with; you don't need any additional stress or worry on your honeymoon. I would not wax for the first time just before, for instance, since you don't know how your skin will react.

Ask your FI his opinion. Worst that could happen is he says "I don't know."

If nothing else, bring a razor with you and keep it natural. If neither of you like it, you can shave while on vacation. Good excuse for couples shower time!

hoffse · September 2012

Your FI might have an opinion, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. My OB says she generally advises against waxing because having some hair is actually a natural sanitation thing - she says that it's much easier to get infections and transfer diseases when you're hairless and don't have that barrier. The diseases won't be an issue for you (most likely), but infections are still a possibility. I have no idea if she's right about that, but it makes sense to me.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_this-might-be-awkward-buuuut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d50489d4-6d24-4d22-b0a9-861b061636eePost:6bff7cbf-efb8-4404-b065-2eca747d621f">Re: This might be awkward buuuut....</a>:
[QUOTE]Your FI might have an opinion, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. My OB says she generally advises against waxing because having some hair is actually a natural sanitation thing - she says that it's much easier to get infections and transfer diseases when you're hairless and don't have that barrier. The diseases won't be an issue for you (most likely), but infections are still a possibility. I have no idea if she's right about that, but it makes sense to me.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

That is correct about why we have hair there. However, a bikini wax (removal from the bikini line) is far different than a brazilian wax (removal of everything). I don't want to confuse the OP - if you choose waxing, that doesn't necessarily mean that they will take it all!

AustinFr · September 2012

You can ask your FI, although he's a virgin doesn't mean he has not thought about it. You also need to do what's comfortable.

Waxing does hurt some, but it would be worth it for a HM because you don't have to be worried about shaving there and being irritated even if you only wax your bikini line. There are some places like European wax center that does not cause as much irritation from my experience. Just make sure you do it at least 2 times before the final one right before your HM, so for 3 months out at the least. You want to make sure you like it or don't have irritation.
Shaving will be fine too if you are just doing your bikini line. Make sure to google how to do it properlly because it causes irritation most of the time.

Good Luck! This is so not a worry. Honestly you or your husband won't notice because it will be so exciting! Remember to not think about the first time because you will have a lifetime of sex.

MrsGandthebeag · September 2012

Congrats to you guys for waiting. I'd recommend a regular bikini wax. A brazilian would be a little overwhelming to you I think. Like the ladies said, start now if you're interested. You want to see how your skin will react. With a regular wax you will keep your underwear on during the process. It takes about 10 minutes. It's a little painful at first, but you can take some tylenol or advil ahead of time (like 20 min before) to avoid the pain/irritation. It lasts about 5-6 weeks depending on how fast your hair grows. I would not recommend shaving as you can get ingrown hairs. Good luck.

cwaggoner07 · September 2012

I got a full brazilian and I LOVED it. Mostly because on the honeymoon I didn't have to worry about upkeep.
Whatever you decide, start testing now. I was shaving/ getting waxes for about 7 years before I was sexually active, just because of my own personal preference. It feels WEIRD to be hairless at first, but I really can't imagine it any other way, now.

anssett · September 2012

These are perfectly reasonable questions.

I've had brazillian waxes and yes, they hurt. They come with red bumps for the first week to 3 weeks after (that decreases with regular waxing). You can also get less dramatic bikini waxes, but the bumps still exist.

Shaving ALL of the hair off is pretty intimidating to a lot of people, and a delicate operation. Shaving just the hair that extends beyond your bikini line is very reasonable, and much less intense than waxing.

Trimming all the hair is an option that I haven't heard yet. You can use the electric trimming razors with a guard to define the length of the hair you want. You can also just hack away with scissors to shorten the density of overall hair. That combined with shaving the hair extending beyond your bikini line is the compromise I'd suggest to start with.

If you feel brave, try a wax. I'd suggest not starting with the brazillian unless you're REALLY brave. However, it's how I started; it can be done.

Good luck. Don't be afraid to ask questions. I hope you have a great honeymoon. I'd highly recommend doing some reading about other generic sex advice to maybe answer some other unknowns about lubrication, sensations, stimulation, surprises, hymens, etc. I don't know you personally, but sex for women who have not explored a lot of self-stimulaton, can end up poorly guided and not leading to orgasms or the outcomes they expect. He's been exploring himself since puberty (most likely) and knows what his body likes. He doesn't know what YOUR body likes and can only learn thorugh exploration or having you teach him.

souptin · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_this-might-be-awkward-buuuut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d50489d4-6d24-4d22-b0a9-861b061636eePost:1c7baf62-16b4-4739-8301-106d5502d1b7">Re: This might be awkward buuuut....</a>:
[QUOTE]These are perfectly reasonable questions. I've had brazillian waxes and yes, they hurt. They come with red bumps for the first week to 3 weeks after (that decreases with regular waxing). You can also get less dramatic bikini waxes, but the bumps still exist. Shaving ALL of the hair off is pretty intimidating to a lot of people, and a delicate operation. Shaving just the hair that extends beyond your bikini line is very reasonable, and much less intense than waxing. Trimming all the hair is an option that I haven't heard yet. You can use the electric trimming razors with a guard to define the length of the hair you want. You can also just hack away with scissors to shorten the density of overall hair. That combined with shaving the hair extending beyond your bikini line is the compromise I'd suggest to start with. If you feel brave, try a wax. I'd suggest not starting with the brazillian unless you're REALLY brave. However, it's how I started; it can be done. Good luck. Don't be afraid to ask questions. I hope you have a great honeymoon. I'd highly recommend doing some reading about other generic sex advice to maybe answer some other unknowns about lubrication, sensations, stimulation, surprises, hymens, etc. I don't know you personally, but sex for women who have not explored a lot of self-stimulaton, can end up poorly guided and not leading to orgasms or the outcomes they expect. He's been exploring himself since puberty (most likely) and knows what his body likes. He doesn't know what YOUR body likes and can only learn thorugh exploration or having you teach him.
Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]

that is amazing advice.

arco13 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_this-might-be-awkward-buuuut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d50489d4-6d24-4d22-b0a9-861b061636eePost:c9d88263-abca-4e76-b003-224bc31dac8b">Re: This might be awkward buuuut....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This might be awkward buuuut.... : that is amazing advice.
Posted by souptin[/QUOTE]

seconded. Great advice!

This might be awkward buuuut....

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