Community› Local Wedding Boards› New York-Long Island
New York-Long Island
New Discussion

who to ask as a bridesmaid

mccloskmmccloskm member
10 Comments
in New York-Long Island
Hey all,Just wanted to get opinions on who to ask to be a bridesmaid. My fiancee has an 17 year old sister and also a sister in her early-mid 30s who has 3 kids and lives out of town.  The older sister is really excited about our wedding but i am not sure whether to ask her to be a bridesmaid-  because if it were me, I would want an out. I was thinking of asking her to do a reading at the church. But I am getting mixed reviews, and I am not sure whether my fiancee understands the whole concept. It is not that I dont want her in my wedding party, I just dont want to make her feel obligated. But I definitely dont want to do anything that looks rude.Thanks for your input, Mps i already had my fiancee talk to her and she didnt take the out with him, she will do whatever we asked/wanted her to do
Report Reply to Post

Re: who to ask as a bridesmaid

  • jilliibabiijilliibabii
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I'm honored whenever I'm asked to be in a wedding party. Also, to a person in the know- a reader job seems to feel like second rate to me. I know I'd take it as if I weren't good enough to be a BM and that's why they made me a reader, because they were obligated to put me somewhere. Just ask her! Is there any specific reason why you think she wouldn't/couldn't participate as a BM?
    Report Reply
  • weddingbells2010weddingbells2010
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In my circle of friends and family, brothers and sisters have ALWAYS been in the wedding party.  The ONE time I can remember a subling not being in the wedding party was a very awkward and uncomfortable situation for the couple, and the rest of the family, that did not go away easily. That being said, there is no *requirement* to have siblings in the wedding party.  You choose your attendants based on who the two of you want to share your special day with.  It seems as if you are considering her other time and financial obligations as a mother when you said "if it were me, I would want an out".  I think it's thoughtful of you to realize she doesn't stop living her life because of your wedding, but she might also be offended that you think she couldn't/wouldn't want to do it.  You should invite her- and any of your attendants- with including that you wouldn't love her any less if she decided she didn't want to or couldn't be a bridesmaid, and let her decide for herself. 
    Report Reply
  • mccloskmmccloskm member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thank you for your responses, i think at the least i will genuinely ASK her if she would be a bridesmaid. i was trying to look out for her thinking she wouldnt want to but how do i know if i dont ask,right? and i certainly dont want to look like i am doing anything rude. thanks for the help!
    Report Reply
  • alithebridealithebride member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    i think you're overthining this. if you don't mind having her in the wedding party then just ASK her and let HER decide. if she says yes-great, if not-that's fine too. and i dont understand=wht does you fiancee not GET about the wedding party?

     

    Report Reply
  • scoobyd266scoobyd266 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are having my FI's sister, who is 37 with 3 kids, in our bridal party.  My sister, who is 44 is my MOH. We asked the people most important to us who we wanted to share our day with us, they always have the option of saying no.
    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards