RSVP Vent

mujerboricua · October 2009

I never imagined trying to get people to send you the pre-postaged RSVP would prove to be so difficult. I thought I did everything right: send a Save-the-Date, send the invitation a month out, remind people that the due date is soon.As of today I still have a bunch missing. Why is it so hard to put the card in the mailbox? I finally started emailing people to see if they are coming. People who would normally email me back in a flash are surprisingly not replying. So strange. So rude.Grrr... Sorry. I just *had* to vent.

SarahPLiz · October 2009

I think this is a common "GRRR" for most brides. Try giving them a call if you have time.

sozay23 · October 2009

this caused me more "GRR" then anything else, by far! I got an e-mail the day before my wedding (well, actually I got it when I got back from my honeymoon because I was of course not at work that day) saying- "I'm so sorry but I won't be able to make it to your wedding. I wasn't sure and that's why I waited so long to let you know..." um, ok- you woulnd't have had a spot if you showed up

henderstraus · October 2009

I had the same issue. No one RSVP'd for more than were invited, but we were missing 40% of our RSVPs on deadline day. Lots of emails later and we had our answers. One friend sent me a text two days before the wedding explaining that she couldn't get off work and wouldn't be able to attend...

Masunaga · October 2009

I feel your pain! What we dealt with, in addition to not receiving responses, was people who changed their response at least 3 times. They're not coming, then they can, then they're not sure..... Or people inviting themselves when they didn't receive an invitation. Or people who invited other people who weren't on our guest list. Or people who said they were coming, then we hear from others that they're really not when we were going to count them...Ugh, that part was the WORST!

ejayne · October 2009

I had that same problem. Nobody tried to add extra guests or anything, but I had like, 50% of my guest list unaccounted for on the RSVP date. I had to make a lot of phone calls that week. All I can say is this: DELEGATE. Give FI a list of people to call, your parents, grandparents, etc. However it makes sense. Don't try to call them all yourself! GL!

somethingsweeting · October 2009

This was my biggest nightmare. by the deadline only about a third of the people had RSVPed. We had to call each one. Not fun. Even more fun? 20-25 people who said they would be there did NOT show up. I had soooooo much extra food. I'm still eating it. We did have three people who were not invited show up (which I thought was soooo rude - one didn't even bring a gift!) but obviously we had enough food to go around.Good luck!

reddie36 · October 2009

Such a pain - I am SOOOOO not looking forward to this part of the deal. I am totally giving my FMIL the list of her side who has not RSVP'd cause I am not dealing with that!! LOL!

kelseymw · October 2009

I am dreading dealing with this! I never realized how important the RSVP was and the last wedding I was invited to before I started planning my own, I was a late RSVPers (embarassed face). I will never be that girl again! So much depends on those numbers. Everyone should have to plan a wedding so they'd understand the stress is causes us brides :) haha

meganrosej · October 2009

It was the rsvps that finally got me to the point, 2 weeks before the wedding, where I was about ready to chuck it all and just elope. I had people rsvp +1 knowing their date would likely not come, I had people decide 5 days before not to come to Texas because of the swine flu, and then I had people just not show up at all, no advance warning. My favorite was our officiant, who is a friend of ours, who rsvp'd +1, then the week before said his gf may not come because she had another wedding. Then he ended up leaving after the ceremony to go pick her up, and they didn't show up again until after dinner, and with her kid in tow. We ended up paying about $500 more for food that didn't get eaten, and our caterer's policy is to not save the food. The wasted money and food was painful, but the seating was I think the worst part. I had one family of 3 sitting alone because the other two couples at their table just didn't show up. After spending so much time agonizing over table assignments, I was a bit upset that it was all for nothing. That said, everyone seemed to have a good time, regardless of table numbers being off. And there was PLENTY of food left for people to get seconds and thirds, which some did. So while it is a total pain in the a$$, and turns the nicest friends and family into jerks, in the end, it's not worth worrying about. Seriously, don't worry about it. Give your caterer the best estimate you can, and just keep in mind that you will never be able to get an exact number, no matter how many people you get in contact with.

sarainaustin · October 2009

I COMPLETELY agree! My best friend had the worst time ever trying to get people to RSVP. She must have spent aweek on the phone after calling people! How annoying! We've decided to do an online RSVP to allow the "snail mail" phobic people to do it digitally. We're going to do formal invites... with an online RSVP option. I know it's not as "formal" but it's better than spending a week on the phone trying to figure it out! ugh! Good luck!

mujerboricua · October 2009

Thank goodness I am not the only one! I think we may have gotten it under control for now. We are only missing about 7 RSVPs and at this point I am okay assuming they aren't coming. I'm so ready to finish up my table assignments and my escort cards.I will try my hardest not to take a 'no reply' personally.

ejayne · October 2009

I'm not sure having an online RSVP will help much with this problem. I sent an evite for the rehearsal dinner (which is tomorrow), and I still have people who didn't respond that I had to call today!

may2005 · October 2009

Definitely understand your pain !! I had about 20% of the guests RSVP after my deadline date. (They continued to stream in for another 10 days.)It got to be a joke with the caterer when I had to call her several times to revise the head count.

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