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invitee question

jojod1075jojod1075 member
10 Comments
in Jewish Weddings
Hi Everyone! I'm getting married in May, and have gone through the invite list with my parents and fiance easily 5x. we're up to about 225  and thinking that we'll get about 180-190 yesses. Became friends with a girl earlier in the year, and hung out over the weekend. We actually attended a bridal show -- she'd said if i ever wanted to go to one, she would totally go with (she's not engaged yet). anyway, wasn't planning on inviting her and long-term bf because we haven't known each other that long, and I really can't keep adding people. i think she's expecting to be invited (based on something she said about how the weather will be then..wedding is out of state), and the more i think about it, the more I think we should invite them esp. since we just went to this show together (and I do expect to hang out with her more in the future).  my fiance doesn't think we should invite them, and thinks his boss (he's been at job since april) should be invited first. plus his mother wants him to invite two step-siblings and their spouses, one of the steps he's only met once (mom doesn't want stepdad to feel left out or something like that. my fiance doesn't want to invite them). sorry I'm rambling...I just don't know what to do! my friend also asked me if i did save the dates, and I told her that i hadn't sent them all out yet (which I haven't). My first thoughts are to take the steps & their spouses off, and invite the friend and her bf and boss and his gf/fiancee. What are your thoughts? Thanks!!
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Re: invitee question

  • Knottie_22381855Knottie_22381855
    edited December 2011
    Only you know how strong the relationship will be with her, but, as for the steps, if your FI has a good relationship with his stepdad, they should be invited.  They are family.  I would even go as far as to say that, even if he doesn't have a good relationship, but, respects his mother, they should be invited.  The only way I wouldn't invite them is if they are awful people who had done something to hurt me personally. I'd probably invite your friend, too, as you are doing wedding things together and you anticipate continuing a friendship with her.
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  • slbriz34slbriz34
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's your FI's fam and it's up to him to work out if he wants to invite steps his met only once (I'd be inclined to say no, but that's me).  Not sure about the boss thing; if they have developed a relationship and not extending an invite will create a strain, then it's worth the invite.  We are inviting FI's but that's only because he's known him his entire working life and he just recently secured him employment when he was let go from his other job. As to your new friend, that's also up to you.  There are lots of folks I have more of a relationship/background with (went to school, etc.) and while we have a good time, I just don't think we're so close that I want to invite them to a very important and special day of mine.  But if you feel differently, then send her an invite - however, don't do it because she's expecting it. 225 is a lot but once you get that high, an extra 10-12+ people doesn't seem like a lot.  Otherwise, you (like me) are getting married in May and you still have time before you send out the save-the-dates.  See what happens and continue to see where you can cut out a guest here and there. GL.
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  • bayshalebayshale
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Particularly if your wedding is out of the state where you and FI live, I'd say go ahead and invite the friend, her bf, and FI's boss. Most likely the boss won't show and many of your friends in the state you live won't show. Our wedding was out of state and we invited past bosses and current bosses (both DH and mine) and none of them came and we don't feel shy about talking about the wedding around them. IMHO step siblings should absolutely be invited.
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  • bonniebrettbonniebrett member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    make it easier and invite none of the people in question! prob easier said than done.
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  • jojod1075jojod1075 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ha ha Bonnie!  Love it! :)  decided to invite the friend...decision still hasn't been made on the step-sibs. we'll see what happens. Have a wonderful time next week and an early Mazal Tov to you!
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  • bonniebrettbonniebrett member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thanks so much jojo! good luck to you!
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