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advice on the in-law shower

soon2bjnscsoon2bjnsc
10 Comments
in New York-Upstate
Hello!Just need a little advice if anyone's willing to help...my fiancees family has been a little chilly about the wedding and have made some comments (his grandmother's first comment when she met me was that he spent way too much on my ring, and his mother's main comment among others is that she could never have her friends drink the well liquor that's included in our reception...I could go on but I won't) that have made me feel like they could care less about the wedding.In short, they don't show much if any interest and are supposed to be throwing me a shower which is 2 hours from where we live with his side.  I have no interest in going and don't know how to sit through 3 hours of snide remarks and comments about how our wedding costs too much and what could be done differently (from people who have no interest in it in the first place).Suggestions? Thoughts?Thank you!!
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Re: advice on the in-law shower

  • jnic0319jnic0319
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think for the sake of peace you should attend.  However, I would have your fiance address these issues specifically with his immediate family (parents, siblings, etc) it is his responsibility to set things straight with them.  It is your wedding, and you are the only two whose opinions matter, not to mention the day you say "I do" you become his main family and you are his first priority, should be that way now, so I think he needs to say something. Second, I would strongly suggest you bring either you MOH, bridesmaids, sister, mom, someone or all of them with you.  You are going to need the support, especially since FI probably won't be there with you.  You need someone to calm you down, to roll your eyes at and to vent to when it's all over. Good luck!!! HTH!!!
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  • chipperbergchipperberg
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My future in-laws are the most wonderful people, but I really did not know the WHOLE family, many of which are from out of state, so when it came to the shower there were so nicely throwing, i was a bit nervous.  Anyway, I had my mom and ALL of my BM come (except one out of state, but the other out of state came) and I had my FI show up just after lunch in the middle of gifts.  That way he could walk around and mingle with his family and it really helped.  If they don't give you a shower, from what you say, be thankful.  If they do, be sure you have as many friendly faces in the crowd as possible and make sure FI comes with you.  Hey, the gifts are for the two of you, he can come with!!!!  Good luck...
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  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Suck it up and be thankful they're generous enough to throw you a shower. Ignore the remarks and remember that this is going to be family for the life of your marriage. Eventually the wedding stuff fads away to nothing more than pictures, but if you let this turn sour those negative feelings will always be there.
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  • am&pm09am&pm09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just try and ignore their comments as much as possible.  You need to be grateful that they are throwing you this shower, and if they truly weren't interested, they probably wouldn't have gone to the trouble to have an event for you.  Maybe you can take that as a sign that they are excited for you both even if they are unhappy with some of your choices regarding the wedding.  I also agree with previous posts that you should bring along someone you are comfortable with like your Mom - and I'd also recommend having FI come after the food portion to mingle with everyone.
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  • soon2bjnscsoon2bjnsc
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone--I think having someone will help me out a lot, and him coming will help me share the comments!  Thanks :)
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  • keb270keb270
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with most of what is written. You 100% should go to the shower, it's just as rude as their comments not to shown up. Ask that your mom, BM, etc can come so you have someone to sit with. If they allow men, bring FI and just remember that family comes with weddings. The important thing is that you will be getting married and they will eventually all move on to another topic. Hope it goes well for you.
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