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Catholic Weddings

Writing a homily

Because we don't know our priest well, we are thinking of writing our own homily--or at least giving the priest something to work with. Have any of you done this before? Any recommendations, ideas, tips? Thanks!

Re: Writing a homily

  • tnspighttnspight member
    edited December 2011
    Have you discussed it with your priest?  Have you done your pre-cana yet?  You may feel more comfortable after your meetings with him.  Then again, according to some of the posts here, not every priest does the pre-cana discussions himself.  It sounds a little intrusive to me, but I'm no expert.  In our last meeting, fr told us to let him know what readings we pick so that he could write his homily.  Our situation is different though as I've known him since I was 12, and FI immediately liked him.  Our relationship with father only improved with the meetings. HTH GL
  • edited December 2011
    It's not really in your place to write a homily. If I were the priest, I  would probably be taken aback if you gave me a homily for me to just read.That being said, I think it's fine to guide your priest a little. For example, I had converted to catholicism recently, and I was uncomfortable with the deacon putting that in his homily because I haven't told all of my family. the deacon was fine with leaving it out.I was nervous about the homily because it was a big aspect of the ceremony I didn't have control over, but our deacon was great, and came up with an awesome homily.
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah...I would talk with the priest about this one.  I agree with pp that it's not really your place to write the homily.
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  • edited December 2011
    I highly doubt the priest would be ok with that....If there is something you absolutely don't want him to talk about, tell him. Other than that, let it go. Most priests have a wedding homily prepared, and they tailor it to fit the readings and what they have learned about you as a couple through your meetings. (if they don't know you personally)
  • ring_popring_pop member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs, I doubt that the priest would be cool with that... if you're planning to make all that the effort to write the homily, why not make the effort to get to know the priest instead? That and I think that priests usually do try to get to know a little bit about the couple during their meetings, enough to speak about for their wedding homilies.
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  • VAtoCOVAtoCO member
    edited December 2011
    When we had our last meeting with our priest, we went through all of the readings that we selected.  He asked us to talk about why we selected each reading, what it meant to us, etc.  He took notes during this time and said that he would use that as a basis for his homily.  I agree with pp's - writing the homily is not your role and I'm not sure a priest would be open to it.  He should be getting to know you through the course of your pre-cana and will likely utilize that and his other experiences to create his homily.
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  • edited December 2011
    never heard of this nor would i (nor likely the priest) would be confortable with this.  the homily should come from him, whether you know him or not.
  • edited December 2011
    The Homily doesn't have anything to do with you and your FI personally. Your priest will give a homily for the Gospel that you pick just like he would at Sunday mass. Yes he'll probably have more general "marriage" points than Sunday mass but I wouldn't ask him if WE could write it.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i would not do this. also, the homily is really not supposed to be about you and your fi.  its really supposed to be abotu teh sacrament you are receiving, teh graces and strengths it gives to you, and what married life as Catholics will be for you and your children.  if a priest does know you well personally, he may add something like "its a blessing to be marrying Corbin today, as i remember her when seh came here as a baby for baptism, then years later her confirmation".    individual priests obviously embellish more or less depending upon their personalities, etc.
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    The homily was based on the readings the bride and groom discussed with the deacon who preformed the wedding vows.  The pastor did have veto power but he was pretty impressed with what the couple had come up with so he gave it a pass.The more personal you can make your wedding is recommended, at least where I live.  Weddings are not a "rubber stamp" so to speak.  I don't think that it's that hard to make scripture part of your life so talk about it!
  • edited December 2011
    I understand your concern because a not so great homily can definitely ruin a mass.  If I were you, I would talkt o your priest and let him know what you want included in homily.  Let him know if you want lots of details about the two of you as a couple, or if you want it to be very religious about the sacrament of marriage, or just something very simple.  I like our priest because I know he will make it personal and not super religious, which is exactly how I would want it to be.  I wouldn't actually write the homily, but express your concerns and I'm sure he'll understand.
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