Grandma, stop. Please. Seriously.

Asheia · October 2009

My Grandma called me about a month ago to let me know she had bought me a guestbook. I was stunned and said thank you, but we already had one. She said it was fine she just thought I might like it. Then, a week later she calls and says she bought me favor tags. I told her that we hadn't decided on favors and weren't even sure if our budget would allow for them. She told me she keeps seeing all these really cute/neat wedding things and wants to buy them for me. I told her that since so many things were undecided it would be best if she waited and talked to me before she spent any money. After all that, she just showed up at my office with a huge box of brand new wedding stuff. Half of it I would never use in a million years, and the rest I don't even know what it is. Now, I feel obligated to incorporate what she has purchased into the wedding. I can do that, but how can I get her to stop?

bbyckes · October 2009

Awww, grammy is just trying to help! It's cute. Kinda. But more annoying. I say just stand firm and tell her thank you, grandma, maybe we can look at these items together so that we can find something that we both like and will can be used in the wedding. Maybe she'll get the hint. I hope the items aren't personalized so that you can send them back. Don't feel obligated, just suggest looking at items together.

jeannigirl · October 2009

You just need to say that you appreciate that she wants to be involved in helping you with your wedding, but not to buy things has you haven't worked out those kind of details. Tell her that when you do then maybe you two can go shopping together to purchase those things.

ffmaid · October 2009

Maybe it would help if you ask her for her help in some wedding task you do not much care about . Maybe she could find the favors or whatever. Something you do not mind if she does however she wants it but gives her a task and something to look for cute wedding items for.

kmmssg · October 2009

Can your mom or dad talk to her and gently let her know that you haven't decided a lot of this stuff yet and you don't know what you want yet? Can you incorporate some of it into the rehearsal? My friend's sister had a MIL who did this. She would buy horrid dollar store stuff and throw a fit if it wasn't going to be used in the wedding. Somehow I hinted to my friend what a shame it would be if the ginormous dollar store champaign glass with hearts all over it got dropped. I actually think that happened.

Simply Fated · October 2009

oy that sounds like something my mother would do.if it were my mom, I'd tell her, "Mom (in your case grandma), thank you so much but fiance and I would really like to decide on these things as a couple. It's not that i don't appreciate your help, but I think it would be best if you could help in some other way. "Of course, I can't say for certain I would say this, but that's my answer for now, lol.

ks3pink · October 2009

Look at it from my perspective. My grandma is not with us to annoy me, not that she ever did when she was alive. My other grandmother is way too absorbed in my aunt's life, and my step-grandmother is out there to say the least. Just be glad is there and cares enough to try to help. I don't have any help nearby, my nearest excited relatives are an hour away! Let grandma kep bringing the gifts and use what you can. When it comes down to it and the money gets tight it just might come in handy. 10/10/10 Bride!!!

*BeachBride0410* · October 2009

You sounds like my mommom...all I have to say is appreciate her and her thinking of you by picking up things, figure out some way to incorporate them. I wish mine were still alive, she was so excited to see me get married. sorry to be a debbie downer....

Leah&Christian09 · October 2009

I think we share a grandmother. My grandma did exactly the same stuff. And she's out of town, so she would mail me random stuff that she saw at Michael's. Bride and Groom luggage tags and keychains anyone? I used some of it, but she'd forgotten about most of it by the time the wedding rolled around. I ended up asking her to make my veil and to incorporate some of the lace from her and my mother's dresses. It turned out beautiful, and was a project she could really get into. Of course, she mailed it to me with a box of random hair pins, but still.

rubber_chicken · October 2009

My DAD has been doing this. We're incorporating some of the stuff he bought us but my mom eventually had to have a come-to-jesus talk with him. She told him that he was making me more stressed, not less stressed, and that he needed to accept that I know what I'm doing. So he stopped buying us crap...though that hasn't stopped him from emailing me every 2 hours about the guest list, the food, the music, etc.etc. Thank you, Dadzilla.

hlm_mckay · October 2009

Just say thank you, roll with it, and enlist the help of your mom or dad to get her to stop!

My grandma wanted to bring a old beige cardigan to the reception for me to wear in case I got cold. My mom was invaluable when it came to stopping the insanity! (She also bought orthopedic shoe inserts for my shoes...nuts!)

kaynix21 · October 2009

I'd be thrilled if my grandma even pretended she was excited I was getting married...But maybe talk your mom or dad, whoever she belongs to. And have them talk to her a bit, if she won't listen to you.My dad had to tell my grandma to leave me alone about trynig to convince me not to get married, or else I'd elope and no one would see it...It worked at least.Your grandma sounds cute....just not really paying attention to your wants and needs.Maybe see if you can incorporate little things here and there. But don't feel obligated. You shouldn't have to. And maybe give her a task. Or invite her to your dress fitting or something, at least she'll feel involved and appreciated in that manner (not that you dont' appreciate her, but you know what I mean.)

hrchick72 · October 2009

If Grandma is close by, I think that a conversation incorporating some of the suggestions in pp's (whatever is appropriate for you given your relationship with her) to get her to stop in the short run and planning a shopping spree in the long run would really help curb things. She would have something to look forward to once you and FI have made the decisions. It doesn't have to be for everything...just focus on two or three items for the ceremony, reception, and/or rehearsal. GL!

Grandma, stop. Please. Seriously.

Re: Grandma, stop. Please. Seriously.

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