Question about inviting women with small children to showers

kat112 · October 2009

Hi Ladies, I don't post a lot on this board, but I thought it would be a good place to ask this question. My bridal shower is in a few weeks. I haven't really been involved at all in the planning, just pretty much giving the host the guest list and my suggestions on what to eat and drink. The hosts (and I) were hoping to have a nice adult shower with cocktails, great food, and no games. I have one cousin though that has a 2 month old breastfeeding baby. The shower should only be a few hours. Is the baby and mom a package deal? Or is it okay to only invite the mother? Thanks in advance for any advice. I feel like I'm totally clueless about the breastfeeding baby/mother package deal. Kim

sucrets4 · October 2009

You can still have an adult shower (that sounds dirty, lol) if she brings her infant. It's not like it'd be running around or anything.I'd actually be surprised, though, that she would bring a 2 month old out in public. I'd invite her and see what happens. It's not like it will cost the host more $ or anything.

SarahSmile23 · October 2009

I'd plan to allow her bring the breastfeeding baby and just provide a quiet room for her to lay him/her down to rest. I have no problem telling someone to leave their 2 yr old at home, but their 2 month old? Nah, let it go. It's not like the baby will be disruptive like a toddler would be.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

If it's a two month old, breast feeding baby, then yes it's a package deal. But she may enjoy the idea of getting out alone for a few hours.

becs11048 · October 2009

In my experience if babies are under 3 months they are normally a packaged deal and I wouldn't feel comfortable telling someone otherwise

ac_in_dc · October 2009

Typically when a baby is that young, the kid & the mom come as a package. A 2 month old won't make much fuss anyway. You could always say that it's an adults-only shower, but she's welcome to bring the baby. That way she will make the effort to leave the kid behind if it's at all feasible.

ExpatPumpkin · October 2009

Nursing baby = extension of mother. Think of them as attached at the chest

The baby won't mess up your adult atmosphere because people know he/she can't understand what's going on. Ditto on providing a quiet room for the mom to nurse in. She'll probably let the baby sleep there while she joins in the party, too.

kat112 · October 2009

Thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to let her know to feel free to bring the baby along if she would like. And you're right, a 2 month old is a lot different than a 2 year old!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

Babies often need to be fed every 2 hours or so. I'd be really surprised if she left it at home. OR took it with her, since babies don't have great immune systems and it's flu season.

sucrets4 · October 2009

meri - she could easily pump and leave the baby at home, but that should be her choice, not the hosts.

bel138 · October 2009

Yeah, you should include the baby. I had a 3 month old at mine the other day.And I know 2 months is young, but it's not so young that they should still be quarantined. I wouldn't find it surprising to see a child of that age in public. On an airplane, yeah. But I mean, people bring their very young babies to church every week. A shower has fewer people than that.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

Sucrets - true, but some people are hesitant about pumping that young, and think babies will get nipple confusing and stop latching (I think?). But regardless, it's no body's business how she feeds her baby but her's, so she'll need to be accommodated or not come.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

meh, i just wouldn't invite her. problem solved.

kmmssg · October 2009

I disagree with sucrets. People take babies out in public much younger than 2 months all the time. You have a baby, but life goes on and you can't really quarantine the little bugger. All of mine were out in public regularly very young.but...that being said, right now I think many parents are doing all they can to keep their newborns away from the public because of H1N1. Under 6 mo can't have the vaccine (that is barely available anyway) so many aren't taking any chances.Normally I would say your cousin and her infant are a packaga deal. Let her make the decision.

Question about inviting women with small children to showers

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