Wha? head desk

**O-Face** · July 2010

SIL apparently has had some numbness in her one leg and back problems for awhile. News to me. I mean, we live about 5 minutes away but see her maybe once a year. It will likely be more now that BIL is back in town.

neways--She had an MRI and a meeting with a neurosurgeon. Apparently they are operating next Friday for a herniated disk. She cannot lift more than 30 lbs and is on work restriction for 6 weeks. Great, right? NO. She does not qualify for short term disability because she is overweight. She has known this for two years. OY.

And before BM can say it, this girl is not healthy. She has gained at least 80 lbs in probably a short 4 years. Not good. I feel bad for her, but honestly none of the healthcare professionals even mentioned losing a little weight.

Heffalump · July 2010

I don't understand why being overweight means you can't get STD (dirty) for having a herniated disc, though? Do they believe that it was caused by her weight? I don't know a lot about discs.

**O-Face** · July 2010

I think it's through her insurance. And she's known for two years. It's not like it came up all of a sudden.

ReturnOfKuus · July 2010

This seems like Catbert style shenanigans.

6fsn · July 2010

I'd think the weight gain may have something to do with the back though. How bizarre.

baconsmom · July 2010

Wait, they think being overweight caused a herniated disk? I mean, I gained about 60 pounds in three years, and I have no back problems. My back was worse when I was thinner, actually (and on my feet all the time and wearing a bad bra.). That just doesn't make sense to me.

**O-Face** · July 2010

It's very unfortunate either way, but it makes me upset that they didn't even mention losing some weight for wellbeing.

**O-Face** · July 2010

No they didn't even mention that BM. And I know I can count on you to push for the opposite.

And like I said, she's not healthy, which isn't related to her weight. She eats poorly and too much.

MinM · July 2010

I think rewarding thin people would be more motivating to lose weight than to punish those who are overweight.

**O-Face** · July 2010

BIL was in the meeting and told H that they told her "you can work out or get massage, but you NEED surgery regardless". I don't doubt she needs help of some kind. I just think it's crazy she knew she didn't qualify for short term disability and didn't do anything to remedy it.

baconsmom · July 2010

So - the disk wasn't caused by the weight, but she can't get disability? Or it was, and that's why she can't?

I'm trying to understand how the one connects to the other. And maybe she lies to her doctors. Who really goes to the doc and is all, "I eat McD's four times a day"?

TheDuckis · July 2010

Here's the thing. When you have car insurance and you make a claim, they don't tell you that your car is ineligible because you don't get regular oil changes. Your premiums may go up, but they don't just say "nope, you can't do that."

I don't understand why medical insurace can say "no, you can't have this procedure that you need because we decided it's too expensive," or "maybe if you weren't such a fatass we'd cover this for you, but too damn bad." What's the point of having insurance then?

baconsmom · July 2010

Min, you want to incentivize health, not thinness. The latter is not an indication of the former.

**O-Face** · July 2010

Agree with BM on weight-health correlation. There is some, but very little.

TD-they're paying for her procedure. What they're not providing is coverage for short term disability while she's recuperating at home. It's nothing to do with WHAT she's having done, it has to do with other predetermined factors that they excluded her for. One being her weight, or at least the only thing that BIL mentioned to H. There must be more to the story, but I don't know it.

I was just shocked.

**O-Face** · July 2010

SIL is also the person that told BIL that she only owed $XXX on a credit card/consolidated debt issue. Then when she got upset that they were requiring so much a month she made it out like they were crazy, and BIL followed suit, upset with the consolidation company.

H posed that maybe SIL had more debt than she told BIL and it was maybe why they asked so much. BIL wasn't sure.

H never heard another word. What would that lead you to believe?

6fsn · July 2010

Oil changes don't prevent car accidents.

I don't know if weight can cause herniated discs, but I know you can get them without being overweight. My dad is 6' and 180 lbs. He had one. DH's boss had to retire for a bad back, he's not close to overwieght either.

**O-Face** · July 2010

SIL is a l&d nurse, and I know she spends a lot of time on her feet. Not good.

jojobrn · July 2010

I am willing to bet her back was caused by a combo of the extra weight and bad body mechanics at work. You all know I am a tall one, and I can tell when I position my self wrong at work, my back tells me all about it the next day. Extra weight, weak core and bad mechanics all very easily lead to herniation.

**O-Face** · July 2010

And she has a large toddler, so that doesn't help hefting him around 100% of the time.

Butter Cookie · July 2010

It's probably because a health insurance carrier would consider her to have gained such a large amount of weight in a relatively small time. Most likely she applied for and was denied for STD after she was diagnosed with the herniated disk (which is stupid, it's like applying for car insurance after you've been in an accident) or they denied her for unrelated reasons, which could include her weight plus other health problems. But seriously - was this thing completely out of the blue? Was she perfectly healthy and fine last week and this week the doctor says she has a herniated disk? Has she been to a chiropractor or spent time in an ER for something or been in multiple accidents or has spotty work history or something?

**O-Face** · July 2010

She had some stomach issues last year, and who knows. She honestly kept herself away from much of the family for some reason so we all knew nothing of anything. We would hear rumblings through (of all places) the dreaded fb. So there might be other determining factors, but the only mentioned to H was weight.

Butter Cookie · July 2010

Oface I doubt she's telling the whole story then...

**O-Face** · July 2010

It wouldn't surprise me, BC. I hate living in this family, they gossip like old ladies.

Belle2Be · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wha-head-desk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:6ff9c81b-302f-498b-99f4-cee7eb447e7fPost:b70db031-51fc-48bd-b8c7-cb08bb91bdf0">Wha? *head desk*</a>:
[QUOTE]SIL apparently has had some numbness in her one leg and back problems for awhile. News to me. I mean, we live about 5 minutes away but see her maybe once a year. It will likely be more now that BIL is back in town. neways--She had an MRI and a meeting with a neurosurgeon. Apparently they are operating next Friday for a herniated disk. She cannot lift more than 30 lbs and is on work restriction for 6 weeks. Great, right? NO. She does not qualify for short term disability because she is overweight. She has known this for two years. OY. And before BM can say it, this girl is not healthy. She has gained at least 80 lbs in probably a short 4 years. Not good. I feel bad for her, but honestly none of the healthcare professionals even mentioned losing a little weight.
Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]
I would tell her to talk to a lawyer, if she has a herniated disc of course she s going to get overweight.

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