Snarky Brides

CM stories *NVR*

*Not Vagina Related*so this may go slow because I am really busy at work but wanted to start the discussion.I'll just start by being a judging judger.  40F in windy chicagoland and no hat/gloves and wanted to take off the little leather stylish jacket to reveal cutesy pumpkin outfit underneath.  I talked her out of taking off the jacket and instead talked her INTO wrapping Car up in a blanket sleeping-bag style with blanket hood for his big, cold, bald head.
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Re: CM stories *NVR*

  • Inappropriate behavior section:CM dropped the F bomb several times.  Each time, I'd be like CAR'S MOM.  THIS PLACE IS OVERRUN WITH CHILDREN.  could ya maybe ease up on the language?  Finally she tells me, Listen, that will probably be Car's first word.  I say, oh, that's sad.  when I finally have one of my own, they won't be allowed to stay with auntie Car's Mom because I won't allow that kind of language.another instance is there was this HUUUUUUGE gourd. ginormous.  I say, "wow.  that is a huge gourd!"  CM says, "Like my husband's penis."  REALLY LOUD.  Again, in a place FULL of children and families.I was just mortified all day, and ended up feeling like a pearl clutcher.  have I turned into a pearl clutcher?
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  • Style should always take precedence over being warm, baby or not. At least she took your advice, that is a good step in the right direction.
  • I cuss like a sailor.  I do.  I can't (or don't) help it.  I do try to tone it down around other children, but I haven't yet around Andy.
  • Join me in my pearl clutching, sister tasty.
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  • so there are these big piles of pumpkins all over the place.  there are signs all over saying 'please don't climb on the pumpkins'.  there are families all over who are putting their small children on the pumpkins for photo ops. CM AND CD both say several times, very loudly, and meanly (I see their point, but still) "It's a shame these people can't read" and "NO climbing on the pumpkins means NO climbing on the pumpkins." among other loud, rude (as it tends to be ruder to correct strangers' rude behaviors than the rude behavior itself). then.  it's time for Car's picture.  Where does he get placed?  yep.  on top of a big pile of pumpkins.  I look at her dubiously (as I've been hearing her scream about kids on pumpkins ALL DAY) and she says . . . she says . . . get this, "They mean ALL the other children except Car."
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  • She's a peach. I'm a pearl clutcher too.  I don't care what people say in their homes, but cussing in public is the equivalent of farting or nose-picking--just unacceptable.
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  • [i]and she says . . . she says . . . get this, "They mean ALL the other children except Car."[/i] Please tell me you made that up. That is just amazing.
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  • This woman is clearly disconnected from reality, with the disregard for weather and the "rules apply to you but not me" attitude.There's a time and place to be crass.  You can be as crass as you want to me in your own home, and usually around adults.  But at a childrens event?  Yeah, I'm pearl clutching with you.
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    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • no, not made up.  I swear on toast with the devoutest of apple butters.  like I said, I actually jotted some stuff down on a piece of paper when I got into my car because I didn't want to lose it.I discussed this w. H Sun night: I am starting to think it's not fair for either of us to be friends anymore.  I'm constantly annoyed or whatever by her and that isn't fair to her either.  she deserves to have a friend that will accept her as is and not be constantly judging her or being annoyed and/or horrified.  I just don't know what I am goign to do.
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  • oh, and btw, a few years ago, she stopped by my family's xmas party as my mom's house.  picture a nice family gathering full of good cheer and holiday spirit.  within 5 minutes of being there she drops the f bomb twice and my poor saintly family's jaws were on the floor. I am all for swearing.  I do it all the time.  But NOT around grandmas, not around children, and not out in public.  CONTROL THYSELF
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  • OH!  just consulted my notes.okay, here's a weird thing.  she talks about BM alllllll the time.  I mean breastmilk, not bowel movements.  and I mean loudly, and constantly.give Car a bottle (she's been exclusively pumping for months now) and get treated to very loud procclamations "Car, mommy is giving you BREAST MILK.  HEY, EVERYBODY, THERE IS BREASTMILK OVER HERE."  Okay, slightly exaggerating with the "hey everybody" but she tries to make sure all strangers hear this.  maybe so they don't think she's feeding her poor malnurished kid *gasp* formula?  but everytime a bottle comes out, "Want to try some of my breastmilk (to me, my husband, to whoever)" or "I MADE THIS MYSELF".  I swear, I have never heard a mom discuss her breastmilk like it was a better invention than the f'ing wheel before.  this has been going on for months, but I made a note to bring it here so I can see from other BMing mommies .  . is this weird to you?  or only to the gal who isn't squirting lactose from her bosoms?  I really don't know.
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  • I was just wondering how you two were so close when you are so well adjusted and normal and she is, well not so much. I have friends that I have just been friends with for so long that the relationship continues even though there is not much in common anymore. If I met some of them now, we probably wouldn't be friends.
  • I'm parl clutching with you.  I love to curse, but in the proper setting.  The comment about her H's penis is just insane.  No one wants to hear that, especially not at a pumpkin patch.I realized this weekend that I need to watch myself a little more, now that we live in a kid saturated neighborhood.I was painting and listening to my ipod dock outside, and realized You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette was on.  It was just after "Do you think of me when you fvck her?" that I realized I should probably make a kid friendly playlist for listening to in the yard.

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    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  •  you are so well adjusted and normal haha, Kamikaze, that is up for debate.but we grew up 2 doors down from each other since birth.  my mom doesn't like to hang out with her mom though because her mom talks to loudly and about some of the weirdest/most inappropriate stuff and my mom feels like she's having heart palpitations after a while.
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  • I made this myself. Priceless.
    image Ready to rumble.
  • my mom doesn't like to hang out with her mom though because her mom talks to loudly and about some of the weirdest/most inappropriate stuffHey, that sounds familiar.

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    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • Man, Tasty, hearing your CM stories is like watching Curb Your Enthusiam. I am not sure whether to laugh or be embarassed for everyone involved. I kinda think she should have been sterilized. Too much?
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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • Generally I'm okay with the cursing, even around infants -- not a biggee for me.  Outdoors with families and a bunch of young kids?  That's just tacky. Overall, she sounds...interesting.  While I'm kind of with you on questioning the friendship, I would also hesitate to lose these gems of stories. 
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • "I MADE THIS MYSELF". Yes, well I make poop myself but don't call everyone in the bathroom to look at it.
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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • So she's comfortable loudly talking about her husband's penis with you and 30 children at a pumpkin patch but not comfortable with actually letting him touch her?  That's not messed up.  No,  not at all.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • She is lovely. Regarding the BM talk, I can only assume that she wants to make sure anybody and everybody is aware that she is not feeding her child poison.  This woman seems to be awfully concerned with other people's perceptions of her.  However, those perceptions are not those of normal people.  She seems to like to stand out like a loud, crazy sore thumb (as evidenced by her screeching across the store that Car was not your baby).I also find it bizarre that she wants to loudly discuss her husband's penis, when he informed you that she will not let him touch her.  I do believe she lives in CrazyTown.
  • I think you should stay friends with her just for the stories. These are horrifying, but hilarious.For me, I still don't think anything has topped the screeching "That is NOT your baby!" across the store. I still chuckle every time I think of that.
  • jens, I was going to have her take a pic of me holding Car at the pumpkin patch and then post it here "this is NOT my baby" IMAGINE the PS possibilities, but she didn't let me hold him once.  I felt kind of shafted since I see the kid every two weeks or so, but she was feeling VERY possessive Sunday, I could tell.  and you don't back momma into a corner when she's guarding her egg or she screeches embarrassing things at you from distances among strangers, and who wants that.
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  • I don't understand the friendship beyond being able to share these hilarious stories.
  • Ah tasty. I had a friend very similar to CM. I broke up with her a year ago (right after my mom's funeral). Not just drifted apart....I did the full-on explanatory breakup. Of course, I had a pretty good catalyst incident to work with so that helped. So, you know, let me know if you need tips. It's a sucky situation to want to end a friendship, sometimes it's what you need to do though. I think I might have debbie downer'd your post, sorry lady. :)
    image Guess who?
  • Fitty -- is it because she asked them to wrap up the bread to go?
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Fitty, thanks.can I just have a brief (or detailed) explanation as to why you ended the friendship?  I mean, if your friend was willfully malicious, I would feel like a real biitch dumping CM because she is socially awkward and a crass AW.  If it's similiar, maybe I'll feel vindicated. : )
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