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Catholic Weddings

NWR: Have you noticed...

I have started going to a church in a different diocese. It is just weird because I'm so use to my old diocese "traditions". Like for example, in one of the dioceses in my state, women aren't aloud to be Euchristic ministers or be a lectur. Yet, in the other two dioceses women can do both. Another one is: people holding or not holding hands during the Our Father. Or also how church policies are translated by different priests. For instance, when my parents got married 30 years ago, the priest/music director let them use two non-religous songs that were popular on the radio back then. The priest that is marrying my FI and I told us no music that you hear on the radio can be played and the music has to be live, no CDs. So, I am just wondering. Has anyone else noticed this? 

Re: NWR: Have you noticed...

  • catarntinacatarntina member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yep.  I've also noticed difference between priest to priest in the same diocese, in the same church even.

    I grew up in Ohio, went to Catholic school there, etc... Graduated college, moved to Colorado.  Archdiocese of Denver is way different than the Diocese of Toledo.  It's literally like they operate on a completely different set of rules in the different regions.

    When I was little kid, the priest in my school did not require we hold hands during the Our Father.  We got a new priest at my school, and he did require it.  The 'traditions' are different no matter where you go.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    IMO, this is why there is no much chaos and uncertainty within the Church today - because NOTHING Is consistent anymore.  when my parents grew up (50's) my mom said you could go into any Catholic church anywhere and they were all the same.  Once the changes of vatican II became widespread, changes started popping up everywhere.  i feel today, that a priest makes or breaks a parish by the rules they choose to set.  i cannot stand liberal parishes and seek out conservative parishes that are very traditional.  others like the liberal parishes.  however, in having "choices" we run into many of the issues discussed on this board - some priests want this, some what that, some allow this, some allow that, you have to be a member, dont have to be a member.  its confusing for many.
  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, there are definitely huge differences, even within a diocese.

    I grew up in very conservative churches and Catholic schools. I would never, to this day, dream of attending church in a sleeveless shirt, skirt that doesn't cover my knees, without tights/pantyhose, in open toes shoes, or in jeans. All the hymns were very traditional. Very strict about everything.

    Then I moved for medical school and they had a guitar and drum set. And sang songs that I would associate more with Southern Baptists. And people came in sweatpants. I was very turned off and had a very hard time, as it was the only Catholic church within an hour.
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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have never ever heard of women not being allowed to be Eucharistic ministers and that would really offend me if I went to a church like that.  Holding hands... yeah that varies just with which church I choose to visit.  Most churches require that you have live music, not CDs but I find it hilarious that your priest said no music from the radio.... does he not realize they play classical music, gospel music and religious hymns on the radio too?  I think he meant no music that does not have a sacred intention.   
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Diocese vary and churches within the diocese differ.

    Example: The church I generally attend says they most be notified 6 months prior to a wedding. Another church, two blocks away says it has to be notified a year in advance.

    My church seems to be more laid back and there is a "wayfarers" mass at 7:00 on Sundays, last call in NYC other than the actor's church downtown.  I'm not wild about the wayfarers mass, mostly because the acoustics are poor so I attend the 5:30.  The music at the 5:30 mass is awful so I guess I just have to balance it out.

    My favorite mass is at 1:00 at St. Patricks Cathedral.  Less formal the the earlier masses but full of tourists and newcomers to our community and I love that!
    Second favorites is the 7:00 at a Jesuit church a bit uptown, easy walk when I am not on crutches . :(

    I guess I just enjoy the total diversity available to me here that probably isn't available in smaller towns. My daughter lives in Boston and she says the same thing. Explore the diversity within your own religion and treasure it!
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The actual instituted position of "lector" is a level that men attain as they study for priesthood and being a deacon. Then they are instituted acolytes. "Eucharistic ministers" are actually only priests and deacons. "Extraordinary ministers of holy communion" are lay people, and are supposed to only be used sparingly. Many churches don't follow this as they put a priority on having the cup also...

    A lay woman that reads a reading is actually not a lector, but a reader.

    The terminology is often used as umbrella terms and normally doesn't matter much when talking about it, but it seems to here. There's much deeper reasons that extend from men being priests that protect the dignity of women, nothing to be offended by because it is actually an honor to women to be served in this way.

    There's is always a pendulum shifting, and it takes a good 50 years after a council for the upheavel to settle and for the church to start living it out. There was a lot of confusion over the meaning of Vatican II, which led to some chaos. Things are starting to shift back again with orthodox bishops.
  • edited December 2011
    I have never attended a service where they did not hold hands during the Our Father. I grew up in a more traditional church and that is my preference. I just love the beauty of the traditions.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yes, there are definitely differences everywhere you go. I don't like it either bc I am more old school as well even though I only recently became fully Catholic a little over a year ago with the RCIA process. My mom has told me stories of when we she was little attending Catholic school and how some of the stuff she sees today would never fly. It is sad to see, but something we just have to roll with or we would be like the others if we walked out on our faith.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    When I lived in southern California, my church had one Mass with modern music (I went once, it made my ears cry, so I never returned despite the convenient time), and there was a church-sponsored Gay and Lesbian Catholic group that met weekly.  Whenever I quote anything that I heard from that one church, my FI tells me that it's not a reliable source.

    Catholic churches are sort of like store franchises.  A lot depends on the manager, but the special sauce is always the same.  I like that they have their own personalities, but that's because I absolutely love my church (other than its music director).
  • edited December 2011
    Down here in South Florida, I see girls in tube tops and/or miniskirts coming to mass. It's ridiculous. I understand that it's hot, but please girls, cover up when you're at worship on Sunday. (Not really a ministry issue, but yeah, just had to get that off my chest).

    I'm fairly new to the Catholic faith (will begin RCIA classes this September) and have only been attending mass on a regular basis for about 6 months now, and from what I have seen, there's a lot that's open to interpretation. When we first moved here and were scouting a new home parish, it took a while to find one that 'fit'.

    For instance, at one, they didn't hold hands or sing the Our Father, but at our current one, we do both (sing & hold hands). At another, they only took one offering, but ours does two (one for the church and then one specifically for a ministry purpose like VBS or summer camp).

    I do love the very foundation of the church though, which is ultimately what means the most to me. The church is essential to my walk with Christ, so finding one that suited me was vital.
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