Small Apartment..would love gifts..but no room!

singergirl2084 · December 2009

We're trying to figure out what to do about our registry. We're newly engaged and think registering somewhere would be nice but we have 2 problems, a small apartment with zero room for anything else (there isn't even a closet!) and we basicaly have everything. Pots, pans, everyday plates, glasses, linens, etc. What should we do?

squirrly · December 2009

Are all of the things you have top quality and in great shape? You might want to register for upgraded items. You could then donate your old items to goodwill or something similar.

Also, you may find some replacement items to register for that actually take up less space - for example, we registered for an electronic kitchen scale to replace an old, bulky, traditional scale.

I would recommend a small registry of items like this. You could also look for less conventional registry sites. . . Home Depot, if you want a new washer, sporting goods store if you need new ski boots, etc. Ultimately, let your immediate family and WP know that you've registered for those items that you truly could use/love/want, and that you're saving for a house/a European vacation/etc. They can share that info with others via word of mouth, and you'll likely get cash or gift cards.

Or - start apartment hunting or rent a storage unit.

RachNRich · December 2009

I can't help but think that everyone that asks this kind of question already knows what the answer is going to be.

Well:
1. If you really don't want anything, don't invite people to your wedding. Most individuals will want to get you a present, and if you don't register--you will end up with gifts that you didn't request.
2. You cannot ask for cash--just in case you wondered.
3. Like squirrly said, upgrade some of your current items. New sheets, new pans, etc. Goodwill loves donations.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

Look for things that are outdated or that wear out to be replaced. For ex, after being on our own for so long, we had dishes, but they were mismatched from 4 different and had some cracks and scratches. We used the registry as an opportunity to get a nicer matching set. Likewise, we registered for new towels and sheets. The ones we had were fine, but they won't last forever.

Just register for the things you need or want. Don't feel like you have to register for stuff that you won't use or can't store. If that means you end up with only 20 things on your registry, that's fine.

When guests see a small registry, they take it as a hint that you really prefer cash. Those that are comfortable with it will probably give you money, but you have options for those that are uncomfortable with giving cash.

Also, if you don't want many physical gifts, you should decline a shower. The majority of people will give you cash as a wedding gift, but the point of a shower is to open physical presents, so it won't work very well for your situation.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

Yeah, you pretty much don't get a say in whether or not people are generous enought to give you a gift. But... if they are attending a wedding, they probably will.

Register for a few items you need to upgrade - shouldn't be terribly hard, really. I didn't think we neded anything (I already have high-end cookware, newish towels, etc), but I was amazed at how much we could use.

Some people will see a small registry and buy something different. Some will give a check. You might end up donating a weird elephant lamp aunt Edna gives you, but be gracious. Theoretically, there's no such thing as a bad present.

redheadfsu · December 2009

Just upgrade what you have.

But are you asking how you ask for cash or "no gifts" in a round about way? If so please read the following (I C&P my answer to another "no gifts" post on etiquette) :

1. Nothing about gifts on the invites.

2. Register for very few gifts like 5 things (upgrade your sheets). This is a nice hint, it says we registered but we don't want many physical gifts.

3. Word of mouth from the MOH, FOB, MOB, FOG, MOG, etc. (not from you).

4. On the Wedding website you can but something like "we are saving for x" (a new house) in the info section. But do NOT put cash appreciated anywhere.

Etiquette requires that you hint about delicate things like gifts.

duckie1905 · December 2009

Since what you are really asking is how to ask for money...

No, there is no polite way of asking people to just give you cash. HM registries aren't cool either, IMO.

Ditto to the other suggestions for upgrade.

MissLeahM · December 2009

We are going to be using my FMIL's garage as a storage room until we get our feet firmly planted. That way, if we get 12 sheet sets (okay not really!) we'll know where they are without them being in the room. My mother has also offered my old room for storage.

jinxed8605 · December 2009

Upgrades and a storage unit/bigger apt! You'll want all the other stuff when you buy a house!

singergirl2084 · December 2009

These are great ideas! And to clarify I'm NOT in a round about way asking for just cash, that's just rude. I never thought of a non traditional registry or just doing upgrades. I guess I was just thinking too far inside the box.

And we've always been the type of people to appreciate what you have even if it's not very much. As for a new apartment, that's not really a possibilty. My parents might offer storage space which is a novel idea. I know for a fact we won't be buying a house for another 5 or so years and certainly won't be moving anytime soon. So storage might be a good option. In another 5 years, getting all those stored away gifts back again will probably be like a surprise all over again!

Jennifer2008 · December 2009

We have had most things in storage for a year and a half, on in three days are moving (still to a relatively small place, but much bigger than our shoebox that we've been in). It IS so exciting to have all this stuff that is new. I think storage is the way to go. Especially if you think you might ever want crystal, china or any of those wonderful things. We have two sets of china, and have only had one with us, but I can envision so many events and dinners just the two of us with our fancy wedding china and crystal, and am so glad we registered for it- -- we'd never buy it for ourselves. So, ask your folks!

squirrly · December 2009

I'd try to focus on things you can use now. If your parents don't mind offering up some storage space, try to focus on seasonal storage - summer clothes and beach toys in winter; Christmas decorations and sweaters in summer. That way, you'll get to enjoy the things your guests gave (and they can see them in action if they come to visit). If I gave you some lovely glassware and I found out two years later it had just been in storage, I might be disappointed.

And - an upgrade/non-traditional registry is absolutely fine. I'd rather give you skis if that's what you'd use vs. china.

lawstudent1 · December 2009

If you have family in the area they might be willing to "hold onto it" for a while. We live in a condo, and we probably will for at least a couple more years. We're actually getting out gifts sent to my parents, and they've agreed to store some items (ie china) until we have a bigger home).

tricialb02 · December 2009

My sister in law is married to a DR. To BE.. so she has a very tiny house until he finishes his residency and with a new baby they have no room for storage of items they had registered for. So her china has now been in her mother in laws basement for two years.

When we were registering I didnt want to do china, but my mom said you need to because this is the one time you get china and it is special because it is your wedding. Then my sister in law said even though they have had everything in storage she is still glad they registered for china- but they use the pots and sheets..etc.

We lived togeather for 2 yrs and have a house with furniture, but we need to update items like guest room comforter and sheets, a nicer pot set and everyday plates since ours were mismatched from college. Since we had most of what we registered for I am donating some to my sister in college, and the rest to a women's shelter where women will get good use out of it once they reestablish themselves. So it benefits everyone!

Jane_Birkin · December 2009

if you register for upgrades of the things you will actually use, but still don't "fill up" a registry, i'd highly suggest a charity registry. you can set up a cool wish list from Heifer Project and Oxfam Unwrapped. kinda puts into perspective what you actually need. i have found that people will often donate to the charity registry as well as buying a regular registry gift.

squirrly · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_small-apartmentwould-love-giftsbut-room?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:37cdd465-4ef3-424a-bdd9-35273128e16dPost:56915974-8a51-4054-9185-7809ac1ca104">Re: Small Apartment..would love gifts..but no room!</a>:
[QUOTE]if you register for upgrades of the things you will actually use, but still don't "fill up" a registry, i'd highly suggest a charity registry. you can set up a cool wish list from Heifer Project and Oxfam Unwrapped. kinda puts into perspective what you actually need. i have found that people will often donate to the charity registry as well as buying a regular registry gift.
Posted by Jane_Birkin[/QUOTE]

No, no, no, no, no. No. NO.

If I give you a gift, it's because I want YOU to enjoy it. Donate your own money if you want. But don't donate my gift, and don't tell me what charities to donate to. Just because I like you doesn't mean I support the same politics/charities that you do (and yes, they go hand in hand). I'd be PISSED if you did this.

Oh, and, yeah - if you can see what your guests, by name, gave to the charity registry, no wonder they donated to both - they didn't want to look cheap or uncharitable. Way to guilt people into something they didn't want to do on their own. Trust me, people who WANT to be charitable will do so without your manipulation.

Small Apartment..would love gifts..but no room!

Re: Small Apartment..would love gifts..but no room!

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