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Wedding Shower

hbyrne31hbyrne31 member
First Comment
in Massachusetts-Boston
I guess it's safe to say my shower won't be a surprise. I asked not to be surprised because I am the worst person at pretending. =) My mother who is adament about throwing me a shower herself just found out she is losing her job, so understandable she is under a lot of financial stress. I told her I don't care about the shower and it truly doesn't matter to me but she just says she doesn't want me to worry about it. I was wondering if anyone can recommend a venue in the North Shore area with prices around or under $20 per person? It can be for breakfast, brunch, or dinner. I would just like to be able to throw out suggestion for alternative venues. We do not have a house that would fit around a 100 woman and I don't know of anyone's house we would be able to use so that is out of the question.
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Re: Wedding Shower

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    sboston06sboston06
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I threw my sister's shower at Zaza on Route 1 in Saugus.  We know the owner so we got a great deal but I think you could negotiate a similar price.  We had about 50 people and I don't think the restaurant can hold much more than that. I think Hilltop does brunch or lunch for less than $20pp as well and they have large function rooms that can hold a lot.  it's not the most modern decor but it works.  I went to a shower there and the food was good. Not sure how expensive it is, but I know Kowloon has a large enough space to host that many people too.
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    MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Showers are meant to be intimate events with only close family members and friends attending. To throw a large shower looks gift grabby, even if that is not your intention. I am assuming you are inviting all these women to the wedding too right? You can not invited 100 women to a shower and then not to the wedding. If my mother had just lost her job I would cut the shower list significantly and let her know you would love to have the shower at home. Ask the bridemsaids/close aunts to bring potluck dishes and even cook yourself for it. There is no reason, especially, in this economy and in your poor mother's situation, to have such an over the top shower.
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    RAWR!

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    LyssaBellaLyssaBella
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Try Spinelli's in Lynnfield. I have attended many showers there and they do a wonderful job. Not to mention they are pretty accomodating to your budget. :)
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    hbyrne31hbyrne31 member
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    edited December 2011
    The thing is my mother is going to do it anyways. While I think it's crazy and unneccesary she is still going to proceed. I would at least like to be able to offer some suggestions to her. We are inviting 250 people to the wedding. I do know that if you invite someone to a shower that then need to be invited to a wedding. Thankfully we already have the money to cover the wedding so this isn't an issue. And while many people think 250 people is alot, we both have massive families where our parents have 9+ siblings each.
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    hapark11hapark11 member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto everything Meg said.
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    ebigelowebigelow member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You could check out Angelica's on Rt 114 in Middleton or Danversport Yacht Club too...
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hbyrne- I understand about the big shower!  My mother AND FI's mother come from families of 9 children, so we have about 75 people invited to the shower.  In our circle, you usually invite everyone who is local who is invited to the wedding, except for girls who are just dates.  iTo be honest, everyone invited is either family, close family friends or close friends of mine.  It's not gift grubby, IMHO.Anyways, my parents are paying for a lot of the wedding, so my mom wanted to keep the shower within a reasonable amount.  The date is a surprise to me, but she let it slip that she is having it at Jackson's in Methuen bc it was such a good deal and was so flexible and nice.
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sorry, terrible grammar- the staff was so flexible and nice
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
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    edited December 2011
    Meaghan- I don't think she's insisting on an over the top shower.  I would have rather had a tea at my parents' house, not that it's my choice.  But it's considered rude in my circle to invite someone to the wedding and not to the shower unless they are a date or they aren't local (I personally don't feel that way, but would rather not offend people).  Plus, it sounds like her family is a similar size to mine, and out of 75 guests, 55 are immediate family (mother/grandmother/aunts/cousins of me or FI).
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    hbyrne31hbyrne31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    EKobrenski- Thank you for understanding. Inviting immediate family to my shower is not because I am gift grabby, it is because I can't leave anyone out. It's not like I can decided which aunt and which cousin not to invite. I think people immediately hear the huge numbers and think bridezilla when in fact noone from my wedding is out of town except my future SIL and everyone is closely related with the exception of about 25 people.
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hear ya, our wedding costs probably are doubled with our big families who love drinking.  I try to keep focusing on the fact that i have so many people who love me haha!  I emailed my mother to see where else she looked, my dad told me she was so stressed about this!  I'll post what she says for you :)
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    hbyrne31hbyrne31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I come from a huge Italian family and I love it. At times it does get crazy and confusing but that's how I grew up and you have to take the good with the bad.
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    foolforfoodfoolforfood
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Jersey, brides in your particular predicament rent out fire halls.  I'm not sure if this is common practice in MA.
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    MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think she was whining over needing an over the top shower, but I wanted her to be aware of some of the perceptions that are out there. However, I admit it did annoy me that she would let her mother throw her something like this with financial difficulties abounding. It seems like hbyrne has discussed this with her mother and her mother wants to move forward anyway so that is that. Here is what Emily Post says, "Don’t invite anyone to a shower who won’t be invited to the wedding. Showers are intimate gatherings for people you know very well—not excuses to haul in more gifts. The only exception is a workplace shower to which a large number of coworkers contribute. (If an office shower involves only a few coworkers, thoughtful couples will probably include these colleagues in the wedding guest list.)"If you consder all 100 people at you shower very close to you, more power to you.
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    RAWR!

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    KBackus12KBackus12
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hahaha hbyrne- I knew you were Italian before you even said it. I have the same exact problem. My little wedding of 75 has turned to My big fat Italian Wedding of 175 because you're right I can't pick what aunt, cousin or family friend since birth not to invite.  My suggestion is use your Italianness to your advantage. See if your mom can rent a hall (fire halls and church halls have a low fee) and then have the food brought in by an Italian restuarant; pasta, lasgana, garlic bread even chicken parm isn't super expensive to get or you can even see if each aunt would bring a dish. My sister is throwing my shower and this is what I suggested to her because I don't want her spending a ton or worse ask my friends too.
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    hbyrne31hbyrne31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'll now have to look into fire halls. This is new to me! At least will give me something to do on a really slow Friday. =)
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    jkeprosjkepros member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What the **** is a fire hall?  New Englanders have the strangest names for things... :)hbyrne & ekobs: I'm stuck like you...but more on FI's side.  I'm not Italian, and FI is, but my family & extended family is almost twice the size of his...BUT I have the advantage that I'm from the midwest, and they all live there, but he's from Merrimack Valley, so they ALL live here.  We have no MOH/BM or bridal party at all...so no one to throw a shower.  My family decided not to do anything, since they live so far away, but FI's family wants to throw a big shower like what you're talking about with every female on the guest list.  Fortunately, FMIL is great and she said she'd host & said I could have as much or as little input as possible (although she asked me for ideas to help get her started).  I come from the p.o.v. of Meaghan and think that showers should be intimate and just for the closest friends & family, but I can see too where in some circles anything LESS than a big shower with everyone invited is a faux pas!  I guess you just have to work with your audience.  ;)  Oh, and I went to a birthday party at the American Legion in Burlington last summer....it's big & is great for a party.  Not sure how much it is to rent, but probably not a lot.  You could get sandwich platters & sides from Stop & Shop or Shaw's, decorate how you want, & it probably wouldn't cost too much.  GL!American Legion162 Winn StBurlington, MA781-273-1273
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    jkepros- FI and I are both from the Merrimack Valley, you hit it on the nail!  We're not Italian tho, both our mothers are French Catholic (so our memeres weren't allowed to use BC).
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    KBackus12KBackus12
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hahah a fire hall is the hall that the fire department owns. (same thing as an American Legion hall but they guys are normally younger)
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    jhdance111jhdance111
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp who said cut your shower list. 100 people for a shower is HUGE... why not just have close family and friends?
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    jkeprosjkepros member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DEFINITELY understand the Merrimack Valley thing--big showers with everyone is just what people "do" there--their etiqette may not follow Emily Post, but there are things that American's think are rude that the Japanese consider proper, and things that we think are proper that Indians think are rude and a million variations, so like I said in pp, you just have to know your audience. And thanks for the clarification on fire halls!  I've never heard of such a thing!  I'm from the midwest and actually none of those those things (VFWs, American Legions, etc) were big ANYPLACE I lived except for here, so it's all new to me :)  I laugh all the time though at funny New England words...tonic (to describe soda or pop), carriages (for grocery carts), frappes (which I still have no idea what that is!)....and lack of things that used to be so common for me: Dairy Queen Braizers (those are the ones that serve burgers & fries), State Fairs (and their delicious foods on sticks!)....and I'm sure all kinds of other things I can't think of right now.  I love NE.  :)
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    Imperial_girlImperial_girl
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    edited December 2011
    Hi I had a huge wedding to to large families I had my bridal shower and wedding at the Harding Allen Estatein Barre Ma they have an afternoon tea for 13.95 per person it's a beautiful place and the price was worth the ride! hope this helps hh
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