travel registry?

lnsunshine · November 2009

My fiance is moving to the states from Scotland right before our wedding. We are very close to his family and friends over there and would love to be able to travel to see them at least once or twice a year. Does anyone have any suggestions on registry sites where people can donate Skymiles or any other travel related registry sites? Thanks so much for any suggestions!

Leah&Christian09 · November 2009

Read the poll posted just below your post. This is inappropriate.

duckie1905 · November 2009

No. That's all. Just no.

banana468 · November 2009

Ditto. Please don't do this. That's not really the point of a wedding registry.

jennylee753 · November 2009

I say go for it. We're not living in 1960 anymore.

banana468 · November 2009

I'm not sure what 1960 has to do with being gracious and not rude. If you do opt for one, please do it in addition to a regular registry.

jennylee753 · November 2009

If you make something like a honeymoon registry and don't go blabbing about it, I see no problem with it. Most people, unless they are planning a wedding and have used this site or books, don't know it's "bad etiquette". My mom, queen of manners, suggested that I set one up - if that says anything. Also - if it were so "bad"... why do they exist?? And why are they so popular?? And don't say "for the companies to make money" because that is the obvious answer. If there was no market for it and people didn't use them -and if people didn't give gifts from them because it is just so "tacky and bad etiquette"- they would not exist. IMO, if you make one it's fine. It's a nice option for people. One person mentioned to have it in addition to a regular registry and I agree with that. It becomes tacky when you start blabbing about it and having it as your only registry.

banana468 · November 2009

Plenty of things in bad taste exist because there's a market for them. That doesn't necessarily mean that the fact that they exist means that they're proper etiquette - just that others will buy into it.DH and I took a walk through Spencer Gifts last weekend and I'm floored with the t shirts they sell for small children. They're beyond rude and insulting but yet they're there and for sale because someone thought they were a good idea.

Leah&Christian09 · November 2009

if it were so "bad"... why do they exist?? And why are they so popular??They exist because companies don't care who you offend, so long as people spend money. Just like registry inserts, honeymoon registries, photography registries, mortgage registries, etc. The company does not care if you look like a selfish pig. All they care about is that they earn money.They are so popular because there are a lot of people out there that don't care if they look like a selfish pig, or are too clueless to pick up an etiquette book and figure it out. Look at Bridezillas. Those girls all come off looking like selfish pigs. But they don't care about anyone other than themselves, so they behave that way anyway. Just because they do it doesn't make it right.

banana468 · November 2009

Stage, I couldn't believe when I saw children's t-shirts that had the f-word on them. I was floored and actually turned to DH and said, "Have I really turned into a big prude because I think those are really awful?? Who does this??"

jennylee753 · November 2009

Meh, I just feel like if someone is offended by it they won't pay into it. Also if you think about it - aren't registries in general kind of tacky?

banana468 · November 2009

Some people may be offended by it and may not buy into it. Others may just find the practice to be in poor taste and will then decide not to take part in any 'cash giving' type gift.I had a hard time with registering. I did it against the wishes of my mother who was raised to believe that showers were a form of extortion. I don't believe that strongly however I do think that any kind of registry can be tacky if it's not handled well. When you do a travel registry it's for one thing - cash. When you do a different 'traditional' registry, you ideally have a TON of different items on there from which your guests can choose.

as985 · November 2009

"Registries are not tacky because they are a wish list and a guest is not required to shop from them. They are a suggested list of items in various price ranges, and they are necessary items that the couple needs to set up housekeeping. They are not a specific request for luxuries (ie, a luxury vacation) or a direct demand for someone else's money. Honeymoon registries say, "We want to take a big, expensive trip, and we want you to pay for it." House registries say, "We want you to buy a house for us." GIVE US YOUR MONEY!!!! That's rude. Plain and simple" I just want to play Devil's advocate here- a wedding gift is going to cost $, no matter what it is spent on. A travel/ honeymoon fund is a wish list (I understand that the couple will receive cash- that doesn't mean that they won't use the $ to do the activities they registered for), just like a registry at a home good store. A guest is not required to shop from a honeymoon registry, or a home down payment registy, anymore than they have to shop from a home store registry. And really looking at it you could say that a traditional registry say "We want you to buy all of the things we need for our home!- spend your money on us!". All registries are the same- they express to guests what types of gifts you will very much appreciate and can really use/ need. Not all newly married couples need to 'set up house keeping'- many couples may have already lived together for years and have already bought the neccessary items that they want/ need for their home. I think that ettiquette is a bit old fashioned when it comes to weddings. When I attend a wedding I want to gift the couple with something that really makes them happy. I am not going to buy a towel set if they have a ton of towels; if they would prefer $ for their honeymoon I will gladly contribute to their first vacation as a married couple. A $100 coffee maker costs the same amount as a $100 contribution to a honeymoon. Honeymoon memories will last the rest of your life (especially if you take lots of photos)- how long is a set of towels/ a coffee maker going to last?

banana468 · November 2009

The difference is with the honeymoon registry, you're saying that all you'd prefer is your guest's money.Not all gifts have to cost money nor do they need to be from the registry either. However many find that when you register only for what essentially amounts to cash - as you can't wrap up anything you buy off a honeymoon registry - it's rude.

[Deleted User] · November 2009

I've done a honeymoon registry. I don't think it's tacky or rude or inappropriate! I honestly think that my friends and family would rather they put their money towards something I'm likely to use. I would feel it more inappropriate to ask for gift receipts so that I could take the pile of rediculous gifts back that I have no use for. If you don't do a registry, you get silly gifts that make no sense. If you do a registry, a lot of the time people will still get you what they want. I know this sounds ungrateful, but I certainly don't want my guests wasting their money on something I have no need for and I certainly don't want to offend them or hurt their feelings. I'd risk being tacky any day if it meant that I didn't hurt the feelings of those I cared about.

[Deleted User] · November 2009

Also, I know of a few friends that have had their gift tables swiped right under their noses...by someone from their family. I'm not saying everyone has someone like that in their family, but having a honeymoon registry sure does alleviate the possibility of sticky fingers.

banana468 · November 2009

Actually, sending gifts to the couple and NOT bringing them to the reception solves the issue. One doesn't do something improper for the sake of convenience.

as985 · November 2009

"The difference is with the honeymoon registry, you're saying that all you'd prefer is your guest's money. Not all gifts have to cost money nor do they need to be from the registry either. However many find that when you register only for what essentially amounts to cash - as you can't wrap up anything you buy off a honeymoon registry - it's rude" I think that any type of registry is a suggestion to help guests see what the bride and groom want/need. No one has to buy off a HM registry, or even a traditional registry-people don't have to purchase a gift at all. And as I mentioned before, I don't understand why something has to be wrapped up in a box to be an appropriate wedding gift. I think the bride and groom's wants/ needs are more important when it comes to buying a gift; not following outdated ettiquette. If I am going to spend money (gifts in a box require spending CASH) on a gift for someone I care about I want it to be something they really want. Not all couples want/need new dishes or towels, etc. But just like politics and religion, this is probably not a topic worth arguing over. I hope everyone that disagrees with me realizes that I mean no disrespect towards anyone with my posts on this thread.

fenwaykate · November 2009

I don't know how much this addresses the original question here about a registry for future travel, but I'm almost certainly going to have a honeymoon registry. My fiance and I have lived together for about five years and have set up small registries at Crate and Barrel and Williams-Sonoma for our guests who want a more traditional option, but we both agreed that it would be really special for our guests to give us honeymoon memories.I do think it would be tacky to have folks pay for the core of the honeymoon itself--flight, accomodations--but I don't think that registering for special extra experiences is any better or worse than registering for stemware.For those who feel honeymoon registries are tacky, does the above look like a solution? Would it be different if guests could make the purchase directly from the resort so it's not just a cash transaction?

obiang · November 2009

Wow, such a touchy subject!!! This is my first day on the 'registering and gifts board' and most all topics are about this same topic.I agree with folks that say we are in 2009 and as time change, couples change, needs change, and registries change.I registered for both. I registered at Honeyfund.com (which is free, so they are not making any money off of me) and at BBB. All my gifts, thus far, have been on Honeyfund. No one, yet, has bought anything on BBB. Like someone stated above....how ever the guest decide to treat you, they have to spend CASH...so why not let them have the choice to decide what is 'tacky' and let them decide to gift you from a monetary fund or a gift fund.I live overseas...lots of stuff that I would like, I can't use here. So why have gift givers spend money on it. On Honeyfund, I used it to help gift 'memories' (as someone nicely stated), as well as, gifts towards big purchase items that we need (we just moved into an apartment last week and need a washer and dryer, closets...apartments don't come with closets here...you have to buy them and put them together). So, I saw go for it. Look for those type of registries and if people want to give, they will and if they don't have another registry for them to choose from. People are very modern and a lot of guests will actually think of it as a good idea.Also, looking at 'tradition'. It seems that Americans find it as a tacky thing to do, while people from other cultures don't see it as that. Considering I am marrying a Spaniard and my family is African/Spanish/American...maybe having that background makes a big difference on how this topic is perceived.

travel registry?

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