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Changing my name - twice?

mfeo24mfeo24
10 Comments
in Second Weddings

If you still had/have xH's name when you were/will be married, how do you feel about that being the name on your marriage license?

See my post below about all this getting to me, but another source of stress is the name change. The divorce won't be final until the end of this year and the wedding is in March. That is two name changes in a row and a huge hassle, especially for work (I've already changed it for my personal life - intros, emails, friends etc.). 

My options are to go ahead and change it at the divorce, then again after the marraige. Drawbacks is that I'm required to change it at work and don't feel it's very professional to put my coworkers through the confusion and my personal life.

I've also looking into changing it now through the court forms, lawyers say I can do this but it may take a few months anyway. Would still change it again in March, but this would speed up getting rid of the old married name.

Or suck it up, avoid the hassle, and leave the married name until I change it to the new married name. This makes me sick to my stomach.

On top of it I need to renew my DL and passport this year anyway and move everything to a new state. So I'll have to add one more trip to renew before I even begin name changes.

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Re: Changing my name - twice?

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    When I got divorced, I could check a box declaring I want my maiden name restored, like you mentioned above, and it would give me the legal power to do so at my own pace. Oddly enough, I never checked the box and kept my married name, mostly for professional reasons. At any rate, as long as you have the decree that states that your maiden name is restored, you should be able to get your marriage license under your maiden name. You can show the courts the official paperwork when you apply for the license and they should accept it. As soon as your divorce is final, your paperwork is official with you new name.

    IMHO, I do NOT think this is worth stressing over. Your marriage license will hardly ever be seen and if your coworkers didn't know much about your previous marriage, when your name changes, they'll just think you got married for a first time. I have been working in the same office for over 6 years and was married when I started there and 99% of the people think my last name is my maiden name yet it's not! My ex husband even worked there with me for a few years. Especially if you are getting married right away- there won't be much time with you being divorced and still having your married name. I understand not wanting something official to have that "taint", but it is your legal name!!

     







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  • letyourselfgoletyourselfgo
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm doing that. My divorce says that I can legally go to my Maiden Name- XH Name .
    I'll just use that on my marriage certificate....then I'll be Mrs. FI's name forever after anyway.

    I haven't changed to it yet for the sake of my daughter.....
    "Who died and made you Dagon?" - stackeye210 I'm supposed to be falling for myself...and not falling for just any guy out there in the world.....
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  • minionloverminionlover member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I changed mine back to my maiden name when I got my divorce papers this past Feb and I will be changing it again next March when FI and I get married.  I wouldn't stress too much about it.  No one really looks at your marriage certificate anyway.
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    There's another option you haven't considered.  Change it back to your birth name, and leave it at that.  There is no law that says you HAVE to change your name when you marry (much as Massachusetts tried in the 80's).

    I've kept my name through my first marriage, and now into my second.  One of the best decisions I ever made.  No hassles, everyone knows who I am professionally. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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