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Ohio-Northeast

your thoughts on my non-traditional wedding

My FI and I have been going back and forth about the kind of wedding we want (we considered big (with large families on both sides it's a given) and traditional and it's just not us), also we aren;t really party people so a reception with music and dancing and (god forbid) games of any sort would put both of us over the edge. Soooo...we've come up with the following solution: 1) We want a large ceremony where we invite our entire guest list (as of now, 150 people) and incorporate reception elements (some drinks, appetizers, cake, toasts) so that people still have time to see us and talk but it doesn't monopolize our day (also, we're not having a registry and not asking people for gifts so i don't think they'll be offended that there's no traditional reception. Besides that, we're giving them free booze and food. They really can't complain.) Also, the most important part of this entire wedding IS the ceremony. It seems like no one cares about anything except the party and it's really irritating. Anyway though, moving on... 2) we want to follow the ceremony with a small, private, dinner with immediate family and friends (probably no more than 30 people) where we can be surrounded by the people who really mean the most to us. 3) Post-dinner, we want to re-open the celebration to all of our guests. We're thinking a fun night downtown. Maybe bar-hopping, or renting out a private room at corner alley, or something along those lines. Does any of this sound strange or do you think people will be offended? Can anyone think of any other reception elements that people might like to see incorporated into the post-ceremony time? Thanks!

Re: your thoughts on my non-traditional wedding

  • KT82KT82 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think inviting everyone to the ceremony/celebration and then only having dinner with close friends/family is fine, but I would not invite them all out again after dinner. Guests might be offended if you invite them to the ceremony/celebration, then send them on their way during dinner, then invite them back out.
  • juliet1503juliet1503 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. The "younger" crowd might not mind as much, but it might also be hard to get them back where they'd need to be when. Just a thought.
  • mamboqueenmamboqueen member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. 1 and 2 sounds good. Would not do 3.
  • edited December 2011
    I actually saw something like this done at a wedding I went to this summer.  The couple were very well known figures in their church community so they had a huge wedding (like 300 people) and then they had a cake and punch reception right after at the church in a different room.  They then went to another "reception" (we found out because family members were asking a bunch of people if they were going).  It seemed to work out well, except for the family confusing some of the guests who didn't know about the private party.What I would do if I were you is I'd sort of take like an informal survey among family and friends.  When you talk about the wedding mention your idea and see how they react.  We did that with a few things we were unsure of, if not outright asked people.  People were very responsive when we explained our ideas of getting what we want, but not offending them.
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  • jwolfbergjwolfberg member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    people tend to get offened if they feel like they are being exluded.   If you want to do all of the things listed maybe try a weekend long event, ceremony and informal receiption on friday, then spend some time together (and really that is going to be the second best part, first being the ceremony) and then family dinner and club hopping on Saturday.   That way no one feels like they are being left out.   Also I know that you are not planning on registering but people like to give something, what about a charity registry?   there are great websites like www.idofoundation.org that will help you do it.
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