Going off the "who pays for the shower" post- LONG

Re: Going off the "who pays for the shower" post- LONG

• dianenjnj member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  first, her mom has brass balls!second, a card.

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• Rosanna'n'Steve member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  Just give them what you feel you can afford right now.

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• caketime

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  Wow pretty crappy of her mom.Just give what you can afford to give.  She'll understand.

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• yusi196

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  I would give whatever I was able to afford right now. I'm sure she understands that you are getting married as well and have more expenses than her (being that she is only paying 10%)On another note, her mom was really messed up!

  

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• allymp13

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  I don't really think it was her mom's fault more her sister.  The day of she was like oh, I said it would be 200-300 a person and I was thinking ummmm yeah you never mentioned anything about money EVER!!Normally I would not even care, and I love her to death so I want to be generous, it's just hard when we are scrimping to save every cent.

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• uppereastgirl member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  The answer, ALWAYS, is what you feel comfortable and can afford to give considering your relationship with the person and the circumstances.  It doesn't matter if you give a bigger gift than them or vice versa -- people are in different financial circumstances.  Someone who would judge you for not giving a gift that is beyond your means is not a real friend.

  

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• FutureMrsF111 member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  Aside from the fact that her mom and sister should have been crystal clear about the cost of the shower....I agree with uppereast-you give what you can afford and are comfortable with. You can always buy off the registry if you dont feel comfortable with what you might consider a smaller check.  I would probably do that and make a photo album or get her something sentimental rather than cough up cash you cant afford

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• I <3 Seabass

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  If you're not set on giving cash, maybe just give her a sentimental gift. That would probably mean more to her in the long run than cash anyways, and then you don't worry about how much? is this not enough?

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• Danes983 member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  Agree with PP... I wont expect anything extravgant from my BM's bc I know they are shelling out a lot for everything else.

  
  

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• kewltif member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  Wow! Mom and sis dropped the ball BIG TIME! How do you wait till the day of the shower to divy up costs?! Ad you are getting married in a few months and she's your best friend, maybe talk to her about this and agree to do small gifts for each other instead?

  

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• jaimelody

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  I like Tifs idea of talking with her about small gifts for each other. Geez, I can't believe mom and sister left you hanging like that. So not fair. I wonder if she knows how much you've put in already.

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• chrissy31805 member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  imo, i think its a little ridiculous how much u have shelled out for this wedding already but what can u do about it now.... its not to sound b"itchy but i just think people in wp shouldnt have to spend that much. anyway, is this girl in your bridal party? because if she is i would assume whatever u give to her, she'll give back to u so u would be getting back whatever u gave

  
  my bio - updated with pics!!

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• alliecarrie41 member

  

  November 2009 edited December 2011

  her sister and mom have a lot of nerve/balls.  i woud be very offended if someone TOLD me what i had to pay and i did not know or offer upfront.  i don't count hair, makeup, etc.. that is your choice to have done.  same with hotel, since you'd go to her wedding and stay need be regardless.  doesn't matter what we think, you give what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with.  i have only been in 3 weddings and they were my best friends or sister so i spent a fortune and gave a lot more that normal.  that is just me.

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