No bridesmaids...???? what do I do?

jessinfinity · September 2009

Hi there, I'm newly engaged, just in the beginning planning stages. I recently had my best friend meet my fiance, and after hanging out for one evening, she has decided that she would rather put her head in a vice then be in the same room with him.My other close friend just had a baby ( 2 days ago) and is planning her delayed-reception for the week before my wedding.What it comes down to, is that I have no bridesmaids, and I only had so many girlfriends to choose from. I am about to elope! I can't stand the lack of support from my side, what am I supposed to do????

Leah&Christian09 · September 2009

Well, I can understand why you wouldn't ask the friend that doesn't like your FI, but a party the same week is no reason not to ask the other friend. Remember, a BM's job is to get a dress and show up. She should be able to manage. Even if you don't have anyone, it's totally fine to have a wedding with no WP. You can have your parents sign the license.

aipuglover · September 2009

Picking a bridesmaid is very difficult. I choose very poorly. My MOH doesn't like my FI and my other bridesmaid is my sister who is in college. Explain to your best friend that she is your best friend and you really need her to be there for you on your big day. If she can't do it, maybe she isn't that great of a friend. That's what I'm finding out.

Clairebearcakes · September 2009

Try relatives from either side. They're relatives so they have to be there no matter what in the end! I decided to do that so my friends can't get jealous.

megan1381 · September 2009

do you have any female cousins? or an aunt? how about your fh does he have any sisters?

Barakins · September 2009

Why does the bridal party have to be female? I've asked my best guy friend to be a bridesman for me. My FI is going to ask his sister to be a groomswoman for him. See if you can stretch out beyond the norm. :-) By the way, I agree that if your best friend can't be there for you, then she's not much of a friend. Sit down and have a frank talk with her. Explain to her that you need her to be there in support of YOU, even if she doesn't support the marriage. Good luck, Manda

Girlwolfie · October 2009

I agree with Barakins... go outside the norm. we are choosing not to have anyone in our bridal party - bridesmaids or groomsman, saves on money and decisions, I have also got my 18yr old son to give me away since i had him young we will give him a ring also and unify us as a family... I cant wait

jennyp08 · October 2009

I think you could just ask the friend that is expecting a baby. Explain your situation, and just tell her that you want your bridesmaid to be someone you're close to. I'd let her know that you won't expect her to do much in terms of planning if she will be busy with her reception, but that you really just want her to be by your side the day of the ceremony.My fiance and I will have a small wedding party. (2 people each). His circle of friends is small, and he didn't like feeling as if he had to come up with random males to be in our wedding. lol I agreed to match the number of attendants with him. See if your fiance doesn't mind limiting his groomsmen to the same number you have. Maybe that will help. If the party is small on both sides, then it looks planned, and you won't feel the need to explain why you have one bridesmaid, and he has 6 groomsmen, etc.as far as having someone to help plan, ask your mom or a friend to step in and throw certain events that the MOH is usually responsible for.At the end of the day, its about you and him getting married and celebrating this big step. Don't let immature friends, etc, ruin the wedding you want to have!!

lbjveale · October 2009

I think a lot of people have suggested good things. I think a couple of important things to consider are that you don't want to just invite people to be in your wedding party just to fill spaces. In my opinion they should be people who really mean something to you and can't imagine them not standing up there with you. I think it is awesome to have a co-ed bridal party on both sides. If you have brothers, ask them, or a good guy friend. Also, trying to involved family members is a good idea (your cousins, his cousins, sisters, aunts, etc.). I just recently had a friend drop out of my wedding because she said she doesn't like my fiance. I know what it is like to have people who say they don't want to be involved. But for you, it sounds like the friend who just had a baby might be someone who is important to you. Ask her, see what she says. Maybe her baby could even be a party of the big day (have a special little outfit and she could walk him or her down the isle, or whatever). Good luck! -Lindsay

TnJBonnell · October 2009

Your best friend should be there for you no matter what, if she truly is your "best" friend! So, what if she doesnt like him, its your wedding day and YOU love him. She should support you!But in any case, What does the week before the wedding have to do with her not being a bridemaid? Its just a one day thing. Not a week thing!Ask relatives. Ask his relatives. Or have your mom up there! Good luck!

elissakr · October 2009

Love reading all the posts. I'm also thinking no wedding party - I got a long pause when I told my family, but I can see that this isn't somthing I'm alone with. Its about the two of us getting married, not about who stands around you!

sunshinycs · October 2009

It's a pretty big deal for a woman to refuse to stand up for her best friend, so I wonder if you should look a little deeper. Our friends sometimes see things we can't.

xxjessmicaxx · November 2009

You could always ask a close family member, even if the person is older. My friend had her aunt as a bridesmaid and it was pretty cute!

butterflytina7 · November 2009

I went to a wedding last year, and the bride had her mother as her MOH, aunt and cousin as BMs. Maybe relatives are the way to go.

yenny · November 2009

I agree,,bridesmaids is just a long tradition. Technically you dont even need a wedding party. Look deeper.

mizjodi · November 2009

I have to agree with sunshinycs; I got married the first time young, and actually none of my wedding party were brave enough to tell me I shouldn't marry him. Not saying that's the case, but she's got guts (potentially) to tell you that. Dig deeper, ask why she feels that way. It may be stemming from some minor miscommunication, which can be repaired by just talking.don't throw away such a good friendship without finding out why she feels that way. There may be quite a logical explanation, and that's important to find out before writing her off.consider that please, and it'll make your friendship stronger, and perhaps your wedding even better.MHO

jessinfinity · February 2010

Wow. You guys just all became my honorary bridesmaids. You've been more help than the ones I finally wound up with!
Thanks a ton.

No bridesmaids...???? what do I do?

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