Which way should I go?

Re: Which way should I go?

• laurenclaire1386

  

  January 2010

  Your family sounds ridiculous and petty. I'd tell them that they'll be missed at the wedding and go on about your life.

  
  Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2010 edited January 2010

  Your uncle and his children sound like bratty children. 
  
  I would call him and say "I am inviting people that I like and enjoy.  I had hoped that you'd be adult enough to put aside your differences for one day.  However, if you are unable to do that, I understand and you will be missed." 
  
  Do not let him drag you down to his level.

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• trix1223 member

  

  January 2010

  You invite who you want to invite.  If your uncle and your cousins are childish enough to issue an ultimatum, you say "I'm sorry you feel that way.  You'll be missed." 
  
  And if you want your cousins as members of your WP, you ask them.  If they decline, they decline.  But then it's their decision which they, presumably as adults, make. 
  
  You haven't kept them out of the WP, they've done that themselves.
  
  As you go through the planning process, remember this:  You can't control other people's actions.  You can only control how you respond to them.
  
  GL
  

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• jeannigirl member

  

  January 2010

  Amen to all the other ladies comments. Your family is being childish and to offer ultrimuns to you, shame on them.
  
  Invite who you want and if they decline that is their choice and they have been the ones to exclude themselves. I understand that this is not easy to have family act this way on whats supposed to be a happy time in your life. You can't control them or their reactions and if they want to hold resentments do not let them affect you.
  
  I do hope that you stand firm and don't allow them to dicate to you who you invite. They need to seriously grow up and get past themselves.

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• kd.joseph

  

  January 2010

  People who hold grudges like this are just unhappy people in general. They  think life is something that happens to them, not something they create. And to hold a grudge for 12 years, wow grow up already!  I have to agree with everyone else here. Invite them if they come they come, if not enjoy the guests that are grown up enough to put aside their pettiness for YOUR day.
  I personally would worry that these kind of people might make a scene. So family our not, their not really acting like family right now.
  Good Luck and don't let them ruin your day.

  

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• NcsuPsych member

  

  January 2010

  Invite everyone YOU want to invite. If they dont want to come, then so be it. . .one less person you've got to feed.
  
  I agree with the other posts, Im sorry, but the uncle and his kids are in the wrong here.  They should be able to grow up and hold it together for ONE day that means a lot to you, but instead, they're being immature and rude. 
  
  enjoy your day, dont let them bring you down by any means!

  

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• duckie1905 member

  

  January 2010

  Tell them they'll be missed.  Either they'll change their minds and attend or they won't.  If they don't I doubt anyone (including you) would miss them.

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• SarahPLiz member

  

  January 2010 edited January 2010

  I think you need to be the grown up in this situation. You invite whoever you want to be there. If they can't act like adults for a few hours, then that's their loss. YOU go have a beautiful wedding day and don't worry about them.
  
  It is so NOT about you choosing your coworkers over your family. It is all about your Uncle and Cousins choosing anger over their love for you. Its their choice to make.

  
  

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• tc56spoon member

  

  January 2010

  Thank you all so much for these responses. I feel so much better since reading them. I'd been wondering if I was being the selfish one but I never felt that I'd chosen friends over family. I agree with all of you but was honestly surprised that you all said the same thing. It eases my mind in a big way to know that complete strangers that have nothing to gain are all on my side. You've made my day. Thanks again to all of you.
                          Terri

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