cocktail hour

akasper16 · November 2009

Our cocktail hour is going to be held in the same room as the reception. We want our guests to mingle, rather than go sit at their table. Any ideas as to how we can get them to do this and not just go sit at their tables?!

mbcdefg · November 2009

You can't force people to mingle. If they would prefer to sit down, the courteous thing to do would be to allow them to do so. People who want to mingle will mingle no matter what ... people who'd prefer to sit will sit no matter what. Just concentrate on offering the best food and drinks you can, and people will be happy at your wedding.

lyndausvi · November 2009

I find that most people hang out by the bar. Well at least in my group. But yes some people (especially older folks) will prefer to sit. Just go with the flow.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

ditto malphabetYou can't force people to mingle so just take that expectation outta your pretty little head

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

malphabet. Snerk.Most people don't go to weddings to meet new people, especially ones they're unlikely to ever see again; they go to catch up with the people they already know. If they know a lot of people, they'll mingle. If they only know a few, they'll stick with the ones they know. Brides' efforts to get their guests to mingle rarely actually work.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

that's just my pet name for her ;-)

megk8oz · November 2009

I wouldn't worry about it too much. To be perfectly honest, people don't really "mingle" during standing cocktail hours. They usually talk to the people they know, make any necessary introductions, and then stick with "their people" for the rest of the night.

mbcdefg · November 2009

"malphabet" is no problem

Some people also call me MB (my name is MaryBeth).

Lasairiona · November 2009

People will mingle without help. You can't force them to do so.

akasper16 · November 2009

I didn't mean mingle as in meet new people. I meant I didn't want everyone just sitting at their tables during cocktail hour. I was looking for suggestions as to how to avoid this.

banana468 · November 2009

The best thing you can do during cocktail hour is to have in addition to passed appetizers, have the cheese and crackers and fruit (at least) in the center of the room. This forces guests to go somewhere to get some of their food so they can't remain seated.Our guests also went to the bar as the wait staff was taking care of guests with their food but the bar served them the drinks. Between those two things, our guests chatted.Beyond that, don't worry about it. You may get some people going to their tables but the majority will mill around and talk.

Lasairiona · November 2009

Your guests are adults who know how to behave in social settings. They will do whatever they do and you can't dictate or force them to do anything else without offending anyone. Honestly, don't worry about it. Focus your attention on other details that you actually have control over.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Again, you can't force them into anything. Have some good food passed around and sitting on tables, and provide drinks if you wish, and those who want to get up and walk around will do so.

jadewright1 · November 2009

I have spent a lot of hours on this same thought. I did read that a lot o people suggested letting it be. I thought about writing something on the place cards as a conversation starter. I have been to way too many weddings that I didn't enjoy because there were too may people I didn't know and if you are part of a small group it is a given that you will be seated at a large table with people you don't know. If enough time is put into a seating arrangement give people conversation pieces. If I were introducing to of my friends who didn't know each other I would give names and a piece of general info about the two so conversation could be had. The example Joe this is Sally she like to paint murals and Sally, Joe enjoys fine dining. Now the two have topics they can talk about with out me. I hope to make this small effort with place cards at my wedding.

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

Most people I know ignore the place card trivia. It makes for the MOST awkward conversation you can imagine.Why is it such a problem if they just come in and sit down? If I went to a wedding where I didn't know anyone, I'd probably just go straight to my table with FI to sit down and wait for the reception to start. Wandering around looking for someone to talk to brings back painful playground memories, and making me do that in heels is just mean. Let your guests do whatever they feel comfortable with.

tenofcups4me · November 2009

I've attended a few events with the cocktail hour in the same room as the rest of the reception and in most cases, people stand and walk around during that time the same as during any other cocktail hour. Typically it seems that people get their escort cards, find their seat, and then move around as usual -- go the bar to get a drink, move around as the hors d'oeuvres are passed, use that time to gather with people they want to talk to. I think small passed hors d'oeuvres helps keep people moving. In my experience, if they're set out in one place with a plate, people tend to get a plate and go to their seat; if they're being passed around the room, people seem to stand and mingle more.

lyndausvi · November 2009

You are overthinking this. People know what to do at cocktail parties. Heck in my family it's harder to get them away from the bar to their tables than the other way around.

megk8oz · November 2009

People will make conversation with the people they want to converse with. Trust me, if your aunt spots your 4th cousin twice removed across the room and wants to talk with her, she will get up and do so. Relax. I have a feeling you're stressing because you're hell bent on your guests having a "perfect" time, and that's sweet of you to want to be a good hostess. But adults really do know how to "do their thing" at a cocktail hour, stop over-thinking, and just think about how much fun everybody's going to have. It'll be fine.

mbcdefg · November 2009

Regarding the trivia cards:Again. People are going to mingle however they want to mingle. If that means chatting up new people, then that's what they'll do no matter what. If that means only talking to people they know, or even just their date, then that's what they'll do no matter what. FI and I are not the types to randomly strike up a conversation with a stranger during cocktail hour. We're not going to read someone's place card and say, "Oh, I see you're an ear doctor, how's that going for ya?" Nor would we want some random crazy aunt running up to us and saying, "Oh, Mr. Mbc, you're a teacher, describe to me in detail what your curriculum is like!"

lyndausvi · November 2009

mbcdefg - I agree. DH and I are the type to strike up a conversation with anyone. We would not need the cards. If you can't strike up a conversation on your own the card is not going to help.

akasper16 · November 2009

Thank you for all of your input/suggestions. As hard as it is, I know I cannot control everything.

cocktail hour

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