heavy hor 'dourves reception questions

peggyolson1 · November 2009

we are thinking we would prefer a heavy hor'dourve reception vs. a buffet or sit down. i think its fun just to have a lot of different foods people can pick from, have cocktails, and have a cake.we know this will be shorter than the average wedding and thats fine (we didnt want something really long or formal).just some questions to anyone that has had a wedding like this:1. long long (ceremony aside) will a reception like this typically last? 2. do people usually dance for this? we were thinking of just having a jazz band or something so people could mingle, eat, and drink/3. how exactly does seating work for this?? i always liked the idea of having 2 rows together of many rectangular tables.4. what time of day is this best for? i know if the wedding is like at 5, people would expect dinner, and if its at 11 or 12, they would expect lunch. would something like starting a wedding at 4 be okay?

peggyolson1 · November 2009

oops sorry. forgot one more.6. i live in los angeles and the wedding most likely will be here (he is from louisville, kentucky so there is a chance it could be there too). if we have heavy hor'dourves and not a meal here in los angeles, will people see us as being cheap???

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

1. 2-3 hours but it depends on your crowd2. sure3. up to you, as long as every butt has a seat4 as long as their HEAVY, you can have it around dinner time. If you go light, do an early afternoon reception

mandysmear · November 2009

1. our reception was just as long as any other. the dancing just begins sooner.2. yes. our dance floor was packed all night.3. we had round tables and the appys were set up like a buffet. people just went and grabbed food as they pleased.4. i would do a 5:30 wedding or so, then have the reception start immediately after. if you are doing heavy apps, then you will be feeding people "dinner" still. if you were wanting to go light apps then i would suggest an 8pm wedding, and 9pm reception.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

*they're heavy

IrishBrideND · November 2009

Are you going to provide enough food that they can fill up like its a full meal? If not, I would start it at 8 so its doens't overlap meal time. In terms of seating, make sure you have a seat for each person, but you can set it up however you want. If your group normally dances at weddings, they will dance at yours, too. The reception will last as long as you want. We did stations, so it was REALLY quick, but our reception was still 6.5 hours. People danced the night away and had a blast.

J&K10910 · November 2009

Well, how long it will last and whether people will dance depends more on your crowd, time of day, and type of music, not food.Some people do traditional seating, some do a scattering of cocktail tables, couches, etc. But PLEASE have a seat for every butt and an eating surface for everyone (so people don't have to eat off their laps, juggling a plate, a drink, their purses, etc.)If you're having enough heavy hor dourves to constitute a meal, you could do it during a dinner time, IMO. But typically earlier or later works better. If you want dancing and such, doing a later wedding, like at 8pm, with reception starting at 9 might be your best bet.

mwhitson14 · November 2009

1. When I've been to a wedding like this, the reception only lasted a couple hours, which is pretty much the norm in my area.2. I've never been to a wedding like this that had dancing, but if you really wanted it I'm sure it can happen.3. I think having tall cocktail tables would look cool. I've seen rectangle tables done too.4. Could you do a mid-afternoon Sunday thing? Or are you having alcohol? If so, a late wedding would work too.

peggyolson1 · November 2009

thanks for all the help. i am liking having an 8 pm ceremony, and then a reception at 9. i would likely have this on sunday or monday or thursday for religious reasons (friday is out since i am jewish, and saturday is out of our price range). in any case, i would make it work.everyone will have a seat.what kind of music/entertainment do you think would be good for a reception that is from 8-11? most of our relatives dont dance and have bad backs or arthritis. some of our friends enjoy dancing, but others dont (he and i are both socially inept people as are our friends lol). the only dances i insist on having include the hora and a dance just for the 2 of us. my father would be happy if i dont have a daughter dance actually lol.aside from that, i think our families and friends would just want good food, a lot of drinks, and a good band.im also liking now having a klezmer band (i am not religious at all, but i think it would be fun), but my fiance's family probably wont get it and have wtf looks on their faces (he is first generation american and all his relatives are from spain). probably going to go with jazz or something and hopefully have a day of planner who can dj for 2 dances.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2009

I went to a wedding that was heavy apps recently (slider station, eggrolls, fried ravioli, swedish meatballs, chicken skewers with peanut sauce, chocolate fountain, cupcakes, you get the idea). There was enought seating for everyone and it wasn't assigned (so you had one table with 14 people, one with 5, you know). They had a huge dance floor in the middle and people danced all night. In fact, I would have danced more, but the DJ was bad and only played 1 slow song, and I was dead tired from taking a red-eye flight the night before. The ceremony was at 6, cocktail hour at 7, seating and dinner at 8. We left at 11, but some people stayed until 12. I was definitely full from the food, and I did not see it as being cheap.PS - I'm also planning a wedding in LA (where FI and I live). The LA local board is pretty friendly.

J&K10910 · November 2009

I would like a jazz band, and it sounds like it would be ideal for your guests. Also, keep in mind you could do an iPod wedding and have complete control of the playlist (and save some money).I get your reasons for wanting an "non-traditional" wedding day of the week, but keep in mind that many people will likely decline a Sunday, Mon, or Thursday wedding. There are tons of great ways to cut your budget to be able to afford a Saturday wedding if this bothers you. Check out the budget board if you haven't already!

J&K10910 · November 2009

Also, I don't know if you're considering heavy apps for budget reasons, but it actually can end up being just as expensive as a full meal. FYI.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

ditto J&K about the likelihood of declines

lyndausvi · November 2009

1. long long (ceremony aside) will a reception like this typically last? it depends. I've seen one last 4 hours. The food was enough for a full meal and there was dancing.2. do people usually dance for this? we were thinking of just having a jazz band or something so people could mingle, eat, and drink/ see above. It's up to you3. how exactly does seating work for this?? i always liked the idea of having 2 rows together of many rectangular tables. I go againist the grain this one. I've worked enough cocktail parties to make observations. Assuming the food does not need forks and knifes enough seating for 80% is fine. Not everyone sits (dh never does, it drives me crazy), they just don't even give the opportunity. If they need utensils then you need more. If you want everyone's attention for speeches and stuff you want enough seating for everyone also.A good mix of large, small and high top tables works well. High top tables allow those who choose not to sit put down their plates and stuff while eatting.4. what time of day is this best for? i know if the wedding is like at 5, people would expect dinner, and if its at 11 or 12, they would expect lunch. would something like starting a wedding at 4 be okay? depends on your circle. My circle always expects a full meal regardless of the time. If it starts at 4 then, even if it only lasts 2-3 hours you fall into meal time. All that said, heavy hors d'oeuvres can be thought of as a full meal.

peggyolson1 · November 2009

yeah i realized that heavy appetizers can be just as expensive as having a sit down or buffet. regardless, we really want just a lot of stationary appetizers. we just want something really different where people have a lot to choose from.with a sunday wedding (our first choice), we realize we will get some declines as with a monday wedding. we know though that the people we really want to be there will make it. the people likely to decline for us will probably be coworkers or friends we havent seen in years.thought about an iPod being used for the music, but id rather splurge on a live band. kind of liking this band http://www.thewineandrosesweddingband.com/samples.phpthey play all kinds of music and i think a band like this would be great for us.

kebmtm071605 · November 2009

An 8 p.m. ceremony is fine...but NOT on a Sunday, Monday, or Thursday. Most of your guests will need to work the next day, and that is very inconsiderate.

peggyolson1 · November 2009

oh i should add that my fiance and i have some bizarre tastes and regardless of what we do, people will kinda be like wtf at our wedding lol. i am an ex vegetarian of 10 years (i eat meat now, but rarely), and he has been one for 20 years. our relatives are very into meat. im okay with meat being served, but he has a problem with it. we are still discussing this situation. we never really cared for real cutesy weddings, and while a lot of weddings on offbeat bride look cool and different, to me most look like they were trying too hard for something avant garde. i really dont mean to offend anyone with that. neither wedding like that is really us. i just want a wedding thats fun and somewhat more of a dinner party than a wedding, but still something that in pictures when i am 60 i wont be embarrassed about lol. in the beginning we wanted something just with some immediate family and a few friends, but then we had a change of heart and realized we want to really go through the wedding process.

J&K10910 · November 2009

Ok, keep in mind that if you don't serve any meat at your wedding, some people are going to be pissed off. I realize you're probably not doing it purposely, but it sounds like you have some plans that are going to be pretty inconsiderate for your guests. You might want to try to think about things from your guests perspectives before you decide on anything.

peggyolson1 · November 2009

thanks for the feedback kate. jewish weddings tend to be on sundays with fridays being out. with a saturday night wedding, i just couldnt have the style of wedding i want due to pricing issues. on top of it, i have some orthodox relatives (my brother is an orthodox jew and lives in israel) where a weekday wedding is common and preferred.

peggyolson1 · November 2009

j&k- i am really trying to swing him into having some meat at the wedding.

J&K10910 · November 2009

That's a good plan. Especially because you said your families are big on meat. Remind him that the reception is not for you, it is for your guests, to thank them for coming to support and celebrate with you, and likely for bringing a gift.

danieliza1127 · November 2009

We did it and had it in the evening. Our cocktail hour started at 6:30. We had an open bar and some light appetizers. Then at 7:30 our reception started and went until midnight. We had open bar, tons of food, a DJ and dancing. All of our friends and my side of the family stayed until the end. My H's family left earlier, but that was expected. You kind of have to know your guest list when considering if you'll have drinkers, dancers, socializing, versus people who tend to eat and go home.We had regular reception seating, but open, no assigned seats. We had about 15 pieces of food per person and cheesecakes and we had a smaller round of food come out around 10pm. Pics in bio.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2009

please don't forget....the reception is for your GUESTS, not for you

LesPaul · November 2009

Late here, but we did this. Our (brief) ceremony was at 5pm, with the reception immediately after (same venue). We did a buffet with heavy h'd, cake, and no assigned seating. We had cafe tables, round tables, and outdoor patio seating. No DJ or dance floor - our musicians kept playing throughout the reception. Everyone was fine with eating, drinking (we did beer & wine), mingling, and enjoying the venue. Most guests stayed until at least 9pm. The food was substantial enough to be considered dinner, and I don't think anyone left hungry. I grew up in LA, but I dont' know if anyone would 'expect' dinner at a 5pm wedding or be fine with what you're planning.

sadiepup1 · September 2012

Hi, we are planning a some what formal wedding at an Historic venue. We are torn with the menu and I would like to know your thoughts please. We were planning a sit down dinner and have decided it may be to stuffy. The Buffet menus are basically 2 meats 2 veg. salad and rolls
The venue states there most popular menu is a social menu/ heavy hour' derves. The ceremony would be 6- 6:30 Cocktail hour is touring the venue and outside set up with tables.
Several choices for this Beer , Wine , champagne., beverages and filling meats, cheeses, fruit and such. 7:30 a seated salad and arrival of wedding party from pictures. A spread of about 14 items gourmet presentations,
7 meats plus 6 veg. This includes a carving station, smashed potato bar. Bar, Gourmet
coffee station, wedding cake and dessert bar. The eating will go on all night until dessert. Everyone will have assigned seats. We think it will be more fun with the variety. the cost is the same as the sit down. We want dancing, fun and variety with class. Am I off track?

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