I'm so frustrated with costs and parents and crap with this wedding!Jay's parents graciously offered to pay half of the reception costs (which we were not expecting) but every so often when I talk to my mother, she occasionally mentions how extravagant this wedding is and that I'm asking for so much.The biggest problem is there are so many expectations and neither family has given me any cost guidelines!!!! Believe me, I've asked for them--I would have been fine with a much cheaper wedding. But I get mixed signals all the freakin' time!! Every time I suggest something really low cost, my parents say it would be tacky. I know I am so lucky that my parents are paying for this, but I feel like I'm caught in a rock and hard place most of the time. I didn't even have the option of having a small wedding.Jay's mom has not complained, but every so often she'll mention something like, "oh, we want to keep the rehearsal dinner costs down." So I suggested doing something casual, like iFratelli pizza someplace outdoors. Then she says she wants it to be nice, and is looking into the Gaylord or a steakhouse--WTF??!! The problem is they really have no idea what a wedding costs (they'll get a nice surprise when FSIL gets engaged someday) and they don't know how much research/planning I've put into all this--WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM THEIR SON, I might add...My mom had her own hissy fit about not having a full bar--we originally just wanted to do beer/wine, and the compromise was we would have a few signature mixed drinks. I have also had to deal with the fact that my extended family has their own ridiculous expectations and we have a 250 person guest list--which eliminated 75% of the venues in Dallas. I've worked my butt off trying to save money:--I fell in love with a $1000ish dress. Got it 20% off by waiting for the trunk show. I plan on selling it afterwards--I feel like I'd be able to bring the cost down to something I could have bought at Davids Bridal. My bridesmaids also got 15% off because I bought my dress there. Bought my own veil for $15 on ebay.--I'm doing all of the decorations and centerpieces myself. I've made a dozen trips to Hobby Lobby to get the vases and other decorative supplies 1/2 off--every single thing was 50% off. I scoured TJMaxxs all over for cheap apothecary jars.--I'm doing all the fresh flowers myself. This is going to save a ton--and it means I'll be a stressed out biatch in the few days before.--Our venue, the Old Red Courthouse was a big expense at $4000, but it means we can bring in our own alcohol and catering. At this point, it looks like we will be able to cater a full dinner for 250 people at about $3200. I drove all over Dallas last summer buying clearance wine from World Market at about $4/bottle. It was also one of the few venues that would fit our guest list.--I'm getting raw video from Adam Kegg for $400 and editing it myself--I went pretty cheap on photography, which is the most important part for me. I paid for engagement pictures myself.--Doing print-at-home invites--Free save the dates from vistaprint--Got $200 off the DJ through negotiation--Ordered our cake at $1.50/slice!!!! I drove from Flower Mound to Arlington to McKinney to downtown and home in one day to try all these different places and get the best price.--I've spend countless HOURS researching all of these places online, getting quotes, etc. Ugh--I probably sound like a spoiled princess. Maybe I am. I occasionally get a little pissed because my younger siblings are much more spoiled than I was (that's just how things go when your the youngest and mommy goes back to work...I get it) and my sister and brother are getting major help with college expenses. I worked my butt off for pretty much a full ride and they've had to contribute very little to my education.Haha, I guess I'm helping out Jay's parents bigtime too--guess who is paying for medical school! ME! And if we weren't getting married, his parents would most certainly be paying the med school tuition and his living expenses. Heck, his mom got somewhat offended when I wanted us to get our own cell phone plan. I was always of the mindset that if you cant be financially independent, you probably shouldn't be getting married.Sometimes I wish we could just elope. Weddings can suck sometimes.
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Married June 12, 2010!