Uninvited family assuming they are invited

Re: Uninvited family assuming they are invited

• Beachy730 member

  

  November 2010

  This is why most people advise you to make general cuts.  By inviting some cousins and not all, it is easily confusing to some people, and feelings tend to get hurt.  If you have no intention of adding these people, I would say something like "I'm very sorry for the confusion.  Unfortunately we weren't able to invite everyone to the wedding."  But be prepared for some of the cousins to be hurt and upset.

  

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• tidetravel member

  

  November 2010

  It's rude of them to ask or assume that they are invited.  If you're having a small wedding, it's perfectly ok to choose to invite only the people with whom you are close.  Tell them, "I'm sorry, but due to capacity/budget restraints, we were not able to invite everyone that we would have liked."

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• aplatanada member

  

  November 2010

  My father is one of ten children, my mother is one of five. I also have 40+ first cousins. We invited all of them.  There was no way we could NOT invite some of the cousins without hurt feelings. (But we are a close family.)   We chose to make budgetary cuts in other areas in order to accommodate all the family.  

  
  

  Be prepared for hurt feelings if you can't invite them all.  We had to draw the line at none of my father's cousins not being invited, and even that hurt feelings.  

  

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• TurtlesAllTheWayDown member

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninvited-family-assuming-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:def8bbf1-8a30-4a3c-9a81-ccd4e3a6fb08Post:0ec238a9-2b11-40c3-9612-771cb72063ae">Re: Uninvited family assuming they are invited</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>My father is one of ten children, my mother is one of five. I also have 40+ first cousins. We invited all of them.  There was no way we could NOT invite some of the cousins without hurt feelings. (But we are a close family.)</strong>   We chose to make budgetary cuts in other areas in order to accommodate all the family.   Be prepared for hurt feelings if you can't invite them all.  We had to draw the line at none of my father's cousins not being invited, and even that hurt feelings.  
  Posted by aplatanada[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>This was my parents' wedding. My dad has over 40 first cousins (grandpa was one of 10). They ended up with 186 people, mostly my dad's family, at the wedding. But it really depends on your family, I suppose.</div>

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• landra310s member

  

  November 2010

  My parents are each one of 6, I have 30+ first cousins, All are invited.  I couldn't imagine not inviting everyone.  However that was my cut, no one passed a 1st cousin was invited, no 2nd cousins, kids of 1st cousins... etc.  There are going to be hurt feelings when some cousins are invited and others aren't.  There's no good way to handle this situation.

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• MrsTarenceFowlkes member

  

  November 2010

  there really isnt a good way to handle the situation. were planning for 50 people our closest friends and family my FI has alot of "brothers" and is really close to all of their families but theres no way in the world that we can afford to invite everyone he know and all his mothers sisters and brothers and there kids she the 2nd oldes of 9 children. we just cant afford it. You just have to let everyone kno that your budget can only accomodate a certain number of people. Theres really not much else that you can do.

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