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for the married ladies...

Mrs.LuraTMrs.LuraT
100 Comments
in Delaware
If a guest didn't give you a gift for your wedding, did you send them a card anyway, thanking them for coming to the wedding?  I have several people (including bridal party members) who didn't give a gift.  TIA!
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Re: for the married ladies...

  • Tonysgurl020406Tonysgurl020406 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Technically, you should... Thank them for coming and sharing the day with you blah blah blah. If they did send it and it was lost, or forgot it, it might remind them about it or raise a flag incase it was lost... I cant believe how many people go to weddings with no card/gift - Im fully aware you dont HAVE to, but really?? I coud never go to a wedding where 100's of dollars were spent for 2 people to eat & drink and not give a card, in the very least (that said - I do not think people should spend beyond their means, dont have your electric shut off because you have to give a gift)
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  • Ms.BriarRoseMs.BriarRose
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    From what I have heard, etiquette says send a TY card saying something along the lines of "Thank you so much for joining us on our special day- your presence was truly a blessing!". This way, if they meant to send a gift, but either the gift (or card, since so many people give money) got lost or they perhaps forgot it in the car or something, this alerts them to this.  If it did get lost and you did not receive it, this will (hopefully) alert them to that, and at the very least they can check with you and/or the bank to make sure everything is okay.I have also been told that etiquette says that a guest has up to a year to send a gift- so they might be saving up for it, or waiting for another occasion so they can combine the two and get you a little bigger presents.  I have also heard guests (especially from other cultures- don't know if this applies to you) say that if they bought a rather large gift for the shower, that is the only gift they will buy.Hope that helps, Lura!  Just please don't do what other people on other boards have done, and call up the guests and ask where their gift is, because the couple didn't get one from the guest!  LOL, I know you won't do that, but others on here may not know not to do that!
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  • Mrs.LuraTMrs.LuraT
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually emailed my brother and sil today, because at the wedding they did say they had a card, but forgot to bring it (they were both in the wedding).  I expected to receive it in the mail when we got back from our honeymoon but received nothing.  There were no hard feelings and my sil actually thanked me for reminding her about it.   now, on the other hand, my cousin called me up and asked to bring his gf, which I allowed, and didn't get even a card from them, where his brother, who declined, showed up and gave us a very nice gift.  my sister gave us a card with a note that says the gift is on the way ( i think it's omaha steaks...she gave that to my bro and sil and i thought it was a great idea).  my coworker (who i'm working with today and was in the wedding) didn't give us a thing, not even a card.  I know it's tacky, but i'm dropping hints like there's no tomorrow.  Her daughter even came with her boyfriend and not even a card from them.  Yes, i'm tacky and i admit it.
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  • jillian210jillian210 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Some people in our bridal party did not give us gifts and we did send them a thank you card.  The people that attended the wedding and did not give us a gift, did not get a thank you.  It was only 3 people that didn't give anything, and no one complained about not getting a thank you card.  I wouldn't worry about sending one!
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  • meshly92905meshly92905
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I sent thank you cards for the few people who didnt give a gift or a card.  hated doing it but i thought it was the polite thing to do.
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  • sarah122481sarah122481
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was wondering the same thing Lura...DH says "Hell no, what are you thanking them for...coming and eating hundreds of dollars worth of food that they didn't pay for!" haha. Right now, we have a few that didn't give us a gift. We'll see if that changes once we get back home. But I'm really torn...I'll probably break down and send a "Thank your for coming..."
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