QOTW - Week of 6/12 - Name Change

iamjoesgurl · June 2011

Did you or will you change your name?

If you are married and changed your name, do you have any tips to share about the whole name change process? A lot of ladies here will be doing that this month so I thought tips might be helpful.

Not Yet Married Ladies - Have you practiced writing your new name?

Married Ladies - Are you adjusted to writing/saying your new name or do you sometimes forget and use your maiden name?

LittleBigO · June 2011

Yes, I changed my name from 8 letters to 12. :P

Do your marriage license first!! Go to the couthouse and get it recorded and get at least 3 certified copies.
Do your social security next. It takes a little bit to get in the system and two weeks to get your card.
Do your license next. It'll take about two weeks as well.
Do your bank account next (if you are).

I practiced it like 5 times and gave up. When I started signing stuff, I write the first half semi-neat and the rest I loopy scribble. :P

I'm ALMOST used to my new last name. Occasionally I slip and say Orn...oh yeah lol. But I know to write my new one.

GJones27 · June 2011

Yes, I changed my name... made my maiden name my middle name and took HD's last name. I haven't gotten used to it yet. Socially, I go by his name, but I haven't gotten around to legally changing everything. It's amazing how many things your name is tied with. I just set up a new email account, but I'm constantly toggling with my old one to get emails and stuff I saved there!

sessionswedding · June 2011

I will be changing my last name to his, and I'm thinking of dropping my maiden name all together. I.e. becoming MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. I have practiced writing it, but I have a really sloppy signature, so it just looks like a different squiggly line than the one I use for my maiden name, lol.

LittleBigO · June 2011

[QUOTE]I will be changing my last name to his, and I'm thinking of dropping my maiden name all together. I.e. becoming MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. I have practiced writing it, <strong>but I have a really sloppy signature, so it just looks like a different squiggly line than the one I use for my maiden name</strong>, lol.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

Mine too!! Every time I sign I say, "I should work on that," and Clint goes, "You say that every time." And then he laughs. :P I just don't have good signing handwriting!!

FaithCaitlin · June 2011

I'm changing my last name.

FI and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and "liked" each other for 10. So... yeah, I've practiced writing my new name for years.. even before we ever got engaged.. haha!

amongthelilies25 · June 2011

my FI and i are in a kind of unique situation. hehe.

My FI has his biological father's name... but he has no relationship with his real dad or his real dad's family. (His mom and his real dad were married when FI was born but FI's real dad left shortly after)

it was VERY important to my FI that he changes his last name to his mother's maiden name before he gets married (people know him socially by his mom's last name).

Because he was in school full time in So Cal and we are getting married in Nor Cal it was easier if i did the process to change my last name first. hehe.

So... i am already in the process of legally changing my last name to my FMIL's maiden name. So in the end of July (after putting a legal announcement in the newspaper for a month and going before a judge) i will legally changed my last name to FMIL's maiden name. (it is a lot harder of a process to legally change your last name without getting married... it also costs ALOT.. but it was very important to FI to NOT carry on his biological father's name. So we did it!)

so.... FI will take my last name when we get married (hehe.. which will be his mother's maiden name.) Craziness i know!

FI could have legally changed his last name and then i take his name when we are married.... but it was hard because he was in So Cal when i started the name change process and because we are getting married in Nor Cal it was easier paperwork wise if i did it.

hehe... so i will have my name changed before our wedding date! lol. BUT at the ceremony and all that, the officiant will still say my original last name. haha.

iamjoesgurl · June 2011

I took his name. I think LittleBigO had some good tips.

You have to change your name on everything! I had my mortgage company, water/sewer company, phone company, utility company, credit card companies, insurance companies, bank accounts, doctor's office, dentist's office, and all my travel stuff (frequent flier, frequent hotel, etc.). It took me months but the one tip I have is to make a list of everything and write down the addresses/phone numbers for each place. Then you can contact each one to find out what you need to present to make the change. Some will take just a written letter for the change and some will require a copy of your marriage license.

I haven't yet gotten a new passport because I had it long enough that I needed to totally apply for a new one. I need to send my passport with our marriage license and new pictures - I just haven't gotten around to it.

It takes time and there are a lot of resources online to help keep you organized.

I did practice before we got married (usually in a meeting at work when I was bored!). I don't usually think of writing my maiden name anymore but it still sounds weird to me when i say my full name. Of course I had my maiden name for 38 years.

LittleBigO · June 2011

@lilies - That's too funny!!

@joesgurl - We have to add my name to the land and everything - I figured get license first!! :P

GJones27 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_qotw-week-of-612-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ae7122d9-addd-4ee8-b47b-a300f9a2dd17Post:faffd48f-a532-4a0d-9e38-b9ac2e2f700b">Re: QOTW - Week of 6/12 - Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm changing my last name. FI and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and "liked" each other for 10. So... yeah, I've practiced writing my new name for years.. even before we ever got engaged .. haha!
Posted by FaithCaitlin[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahah... very cute! Love it.</div>

AshNoel8 · June 2011

I am changing my last name to his last name. I'm excited! But I'm not excited for all the paperwork. There's a website called missnowmrs.com that you have to pay for that handles a lot of that stuff. I'm considering paying the $30 if it really saves that many hours of paperwork. Has anyone used it? If so, is it worth it?

And no, I haven't practiced writing my new name. Maybe I should get on that haha.

mrandmrsbrist · June 2011

I'm dropping my super, super common last name all together and changing to his. FMIL is Norwegian and kept her maiden name, so I think for some reason she was expecting me to do the same. I kind of surprised her when I said, "I'd like an uncommon last name for the first time in my life."

DramaGeek · June 2011

I've mentioned this before, though maybe not on this board - don't do what I did! I couldn't decide what to do and was super wishy washy about it and it made it really, really hard.

I didn't want to change my name and H was all for that. At one point we even discussed him changing his name to mine. Then, the closer we got to the wedding, the more concerned he became about me not changing my name. Looking back, I think it was family pressure. I've heard his dad say more than once that it's disrespectful for a woman not to take her husband's name. Not wantint to start off one the wrong foot with my inlaws, I chose to use both names with no hyphen, so I went from Laura Rae Smith to Laura Rae Smith Jones. Smith Jones was my last name. I never changed it legally though.

I thought I was going to be ok being Laura Jones socially, but I totally wasn't. I tried it at first and hated it, so I went by Smith Jones everywhere. Except that people have a really hard time with two word last names, so to make it easier at the pharmacy and mechanic, I started dropping Jones and just went by Smith. I was teaching high school at the time and went by my first name, so there was no issue at school...until we'd been married 3 years and I moved to a middle school. I didn't feel like middle schoolers were mature enough to call me by my first name without feeling like we were peers, so I had to pick a last name. Ms Smith Jones was too long and complicated, so I dropped the Jones and just went with Smith there, too.

Finally, a few months ago, H said to me "why don't you just drop Jones all together? You never wanted to take it and you haven't legally changed your name even though we've been married 8 years." So I did. I still need to change everything back from Smith Jones to just Smith - credit cards, bank accounts, etc - but I am SO much happier this way.

Moral of the story: Be sure of what you want to do and go with your gut. Don't let anyone try to talk you into something else, you will regret it, and it's a huge pain to retrain people.

midgetthemighty · June 2011

I'm changing mine to his and I have practiced before. Sometimes, FI even asks me to because he loves seeing my first name and his last name.

SoonToBeGenao · June 2011

I can not wait to take FI's name! I am very traditional and always knew I would be taking my husband's name. I've been practicing my full signature and my initials (since i have to initial a lot at work)

faith415 · June 2011

I'm taking FI last name! My name in general is crazy common and multiple times my records have been mixed up with someone elses because of having the same name. On all my legal documents I ended up including my middle initial to make things easier. I haven't really practiced my new name, but FI's last name starts with the same letter as mine. After I knew for sure that we were going to get married I started using my monogram or initials on a lot of things since I knew it wasn't going to change!
I'm not looking forward to the process of changing everything though. My parents moved earlier this year and since I use their address as my permanent address, and I turned 22 and had to renew everything this year, I've already gotten then joy of renewing multiple items. Having to change everything again is not going to be fun!

Purple&7 · June 2011

I'm taking FI last name. I always knew that I would take my husband's last name. I haven't decided yet whether or not I want to be (Maiden)(His Last Name) or (Middle Name)(His Last Name). Good thing I have a year left to decide! I haven't practiced writing his last name yet, but I have practiced saying it!

LittleBigO · June 2011

[QUOTE]I'm taking FI last name. I always knew that I would take my husband's last name. I haven't decided yet whether or not I want to be (Maiden)(His Last Name) or (Middle Name)(His Last Name). Good thing I have a year left to decide! <strong>I haven't practiced writing his last name yet, but I have practiced saying it!
</strong>Posted by Purple&7[/QUOTE]

I had to do that too!! :P

azdancer8 · June 2011

I did First Middle HisLast. I LOVE my married last name, and HATED my maiden name, so it all worked really well for me.

Tips: Once you have a copy of your marriage certificate, change your name on Social Security first, then your driver's license. The rest (doctors, credit cards, bills, etc.) takes a while, but once you have the other two, it's relatively easy.

ETA: I've had a couple of "hiccups" introducing myself, stuttering over my last name, but for the most part I've adjusted well to my new name. I practiced signing it a couple of times before we were engaged, and actually have a "fancy" signature that DH and I came up with together, and my day-to-day signature that I use on checks and stuff. And THANK GOODNESS I don't have to write cursive double b's anymore - what a pain those were!

kellya01 · June 2011

Gah,,, I haven't decided what I'm doing yet. I thought I was going to go with the traditional First Maiden HisLast, but then my SIL and I were talking about how nice my name would sound as First middle HisLast, and my mom is now trying to advocate for me to keep my name and not change it at all .... I guess I just have to figure out what I want to do and leave it at that. I'm leaning towards First Maiden HisLast and just dropping my middle name. Hmmmmm...

I haven't practiced signing it yet but I will practice the 2 different signatures today to see if one of them sways my decision ... hahha!! :-)

[Deleted User] · June 2011

I'm changing my name to FI's last night, so I will be MyFirst MyMiddle HisLast. however, we have an agreement that we are going to use my maiden name as one of our children's names.

I've actually had to sign with my new name for wedding checks that have been addressed to FI & CocoBellaF HisLastName... It's very different from what I'm used to (Scottish name -- /> Hispanic name) but it's not that big of a deal. it'll just be a hassle!

esantana06 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_qotw-week-of-612-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ae7122d9-addd-4ee8-b47b-a300f9a2dd17Post:faffd48f-a532-4a0d-9e38-b9ac2e2f700b">Re: QOTW - Week of 6/12 - Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm changing my last name. FI and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and "liked" each other for 10. So... yeah, I've practiced writing my new name for years.. even before we ever got engaged .. haha!
Posted by FaithCaitlin[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, I'm on the same boat. We've been together fo 5 1/2 years and liked each other for 8 years. So yes I've practiced the signature for a while too ha.</div>

sprtychick10 · June 2011

I am taking his last name and dropping my middle name.

I am not looking forward to all the paperwork that goes with the name changing process

letyourselfgo · June 2011

Looking forward to changing my last name to FI's. I like it much better than mine, but with my first name....its quite the mouthful!

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